Cursed by "Man Buns" (hair style)

[VickySGV]

It has been hot, dry and smokey here where I live and my hair that is now down to the bottom of my shoulder blades in back was getting soaked from sweat on my neck and not helping me cool off. Ok, I twisted it up and put it in a clip towards the top of my head in kind of scraggly knot when I went to dinner at an Olive Garden restaurant. I did have on T shirt that could have been either gender it is true, (it was Pride T shirt however) but I had been properly gendered by the hosting staff and had gotten no rude stares by the other patrons as I came in. My actual table server came up from behind me, and before he sees my face addresses me as SIR. I turned toward him and let him know my proper pronouns, and he apologized, but I did ask him why he though from the back I was male, my hair is a female dye job red that was recently done, and my hair, while not beautiful in style was what girls wear. He did apologize and corrected things and then pointed to one of his colleagues, and then to two other tables where beard sporting individuals had their hair up in "man buns" and even I had to understand his point of view and the logical mistake he had made. None of the other women in the room had their hair up like mine, only the "men" did.

[Guest]

I pull my hair up together and use a tie with the hair pointing straight up. I finish it up so all the hair is falling in all directions. My daughter and her friends call the style a "palm tree". It's feminine, fun, easy to do, sexy and very cool for the hot Arizona summer. I've never seen a guy wear one. I also use spray in bright hair colors on the top for some zing as a youthful accent. Hug. JodyAnn

[Charlize]

Maybe that's an advantage to having no hair and a short wig style. I tried to have a wig that i could make a bun with but it looked terrible from the back where there was no hair where it should have bin.

I'd never thought of how a guys long hair could affect us. Mmmm.... the " I can't tell the boys from the girls" i used to hear as a hippie(when i had hair) makes more sense now. Wonder if any of the gals then got misgendered because of my flowing locks.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Jani]

Man buns? I don't get the style. If I don't want my hair in a "palm tree" style I pull it straight up and tie it, since it's long enough to stay put. I love the upswept look, definitely feminine. When I pull it to the center or bottom of the back of my head I get hair draped around my face. There's no confusion as to my presentation. JodyAnn I've never seen the colored spray. I'll have to look for it to try. And even if I didn't use it, my granddaughter would think its cool!

Jani

[Guest]

Man buns? I don't get the style. If I don't want my hair in a "palm tree" style I pull it straight up and tie it, since it's long enough to stay put. I love the upswept look, definitely feminine. When I pull it to the center or bottom of the back of my head I get hair draped around my face. There's no confusion as to my presentation. JodyAnn I've never seen the colored spray. I'll have to look for it to try. And even if I didn't use it, my granddaughter would think its cool!

Jani

My hair grew to just above my bra line and stopped. I'm jealous! Ultra has it, Walmart too but seasonally. A bunch of colors and cheap. I can go crazy, wash my hair and be dignified again. I also use purple, our company color with my uniform for some events. Pink is my favorite!

[Briana]

Man buns...I thought you were talking about the dreaded "no butt/cookie sheet butt" man buns and was wondering why you put (hair style) in there. LOL slow on the draw I guess. Well, I still see quite a few man buns but the "style" is allegedly passé now so maybe they'll fade away. I used to wear my hair in a pony or up most of the time long time ago. Shorter now...but when it's hot out it's sure nice to get it off your neck.

[Guest LesleyAnne]

All this talk about hair

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Hair up and casual is tough pass for most of us. Wish I could braid my own hair like some of my old hippy friends but, some people gender that look too. Hair thru the hole of a baseball cap can work. I do the hair under the cowgirl hat thing and do the best I can elsewhere. Also it reduces the forehead giveaway. Neck is a problem for most of us. Lesbians and transmen often wear polo and other shirts with the collar turned up to hide their girl necks. Seems to also work well MTF and you might even meet some nice women. Aviator sunglasses reduce the face view and makeup requirements. Body is rock it if you got it, hide it if you can't.

[tracy_j]

I look at some of the ways women tie their hair up and sometimes play a bit but at the moment I am learning how to use some of the different types of hair clip. My hair is shorter than I have had it as it is fairly fine and the weight when it was longer, I think, was detrimental. At the moment it is not really long enough to do anything too complex.

Tracy

[Ravin]

Barrettes/hair clips should solve that problem. Those as far as I know are still strictly female hairstyle accessories.

I put my hair back in a ponytail today; it's finally long enough to do that with (I started growing it out again once T did its job and my face masculinized; I prefer having long hair regardless of gender). One of the clerks at the courthouse commented that pretty soon I could put it into a bun.

I just laughed, because that would be a culturally loaded thing to do up here in Navajo country. Traditional Navajos wear their hair long, in a bun wrapped in a special way by both genders; that's definitely not what I'm going for!

I hope the server took the interaction as a lesson not to make assumptions about a person's gender based on hair alone!

[Jani]

It seems servers frequently make that assumption. I've worn my hair long for a very long time. Over the years there's been countless occasions where the server would approach the table with my wife and I seated and announce "hello ladies' or such. As I still had facial hair (beard shadow) and a male voice they quickly corrected. I understand because the predominant style for many men in my area is no hair, a shaved scalp. I always gave them a pass as its hard enough being a server.

Jani