crossdressing

[morrv021]

I'm new to this cross dressing. I have gotten more and more into wearing women's clothes every chance I can. I'm married so I have to hide it and do it when I can. I'm nervous and scared. I have bought nore clothes and even polished my nails. I love the thought and feeling of being feminine. So how can I calm down before I get caught or open up about this. I'm not trying to stop and want this to be who I am.

Thanks

[Jani]

Hello and welcome to Laura's,

As been suggested at times, since you are not trying to stop and you say this is who you are, seeking out a gender therapist to help you sort things out would certainly make you feel better. Even for just a few sessions. Talking to another person who is not invested in your life would provide the relief you seek and help you look at this calmly. You can then decide how to proceed in talking to your spouse.

Jani

[Guest Clair Dufour]

How to deal with wife varies. Most get upset even while secretly gloating that they have succeeded in house breaking you. Being close to Orlando you have many local resources. I would start here as they also have councilors. http://www.thecenterorlando.org/#!glbt-directory/bc1gf

[morrv021]

Well I think with the advice I have given so far that has to be my best option is to seek out counseling and go from there. At least I can get a solid direction from a party that don't know me or judge me for being in a person I want to be. Again thanks for the advice.

[Guest AshleighP]

Hello and welcome! Your story is not unlike many that been shard here. There is lots of great advice, encouragement, and acceptance to be found here. Feel free to ask questions and post thoughts. Baby steps are the best way to approach coming out to a spouse. Enjoy your journey.

[morrv021]

Ashleigh you mentioned baby steps. I took a leap of faith and test my confidence today. I wore a sports bra at the gym today. And yesterday I polished my nails and left it on. Is that to much or is that a start to boost my confidence

[Jani]

That is definitely a start, Good!  But the nail polish may draw out comments you aren't prepared to address; whether with family, friends or acquaintances.  So make sure you don't get caught "speeding" by going faster in this journey than you're prepared for.   I'm glad you decided a counselor would be a good choice.  

Jani

 

[Guest AshleighP]

Definitely a great start. Every step boosts confidence and makes you more sure of who you are. Take it slow and remember, most people are too busy with their own lives to notice you and what you're wearing.

[MarcieMarie12]

So true Ashleigh--I went out to the beach and no one batted an eye at me in my swimsuit and no make-up!

[morrv021]

Hey Ihave been way for a little bit been really really busy and havent posted in a while. Just a little update. I'm doing fine and happy as can be as I progress in my life style changes. I have been buying more and more clothes and I get to wear my clothes freely. It was a little stressful for a few days to get to this point after I left a pair of my panties in the wrong place and had to answer for that. So from that point she said if I want to wear it I buy it she just don't want me wearing her clothes and when she needs them they are not there. So for me that was a load of my back. I previously mentioned nail Polish. That has expanded and now I get pretty manicured and pedicured nails. So I have made progress. So my question is what's next to improve on for me. Thanks for any input.

 

[Charlize]

Congratulations on being able to express yourself more.

as to what else you can do. I started to slowly pluck and raise my eyebrows.  While many women don't bother many do and it feels good (but hurts) and definitely feminizes the face.  It also has the advantage of being somewhat subtle and isn't noticed by many especially if you go at it slowly.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[morrv021]

I don't plan on trying to open any more doors at this point, I'm going let the dust settle on the progress I have made so far sure don't need to have a door slammed in my face. I will take all the time I need to reach my goal MtF.

 

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Hi and welcome Morry

I feel for you. If you have a look back through my posts you'll see I became a CD in my mid 50s. I told my wife straight away when I realised what was happening (it's impossible to hide the ridiculous amount of clothes and boots I have acquired anyway!) It was a very scary thing to do for me, but I've loved and trusted her for years and felt that trust had to come first. She's not keen on my CD world but at least I don't have to hide it.

My advice might not suit your situation, and the advice of baby steps and a counsellor is good.  I have found the girls here a tremendous support and you'll be in good hands here!

Good luck and keep us posted!

Hugs

Eve

[morrv021]

Hello again. I am wondering why do I feel like I'm in a rut right now, I feel like I'm in a race and know I'm going to loose so I just kinda jog along hoping too get to the end and that's were I feel with my dressing. I still wear my bras and panties and I keep getting manicure and pedicures and I have been get my eyebrows done but I don't see where I'm gaining ground especially still being mostly discrete apart from what my wife knows I do like my panties and she sees my nails and knows I use the body lotion. But I am lost as to what will push me to finish the race. Anyone have any thoughts on this and is this normal. Thanks xoxo

[Charlize]

Hi Morrov.  Maybe you are content where you are.  I know i sent many years dressing in private and being "content" with that.  I was busy living life and at the time didn't dare make my dreams a reality.  Many never feel a need to do more.  Why take on the difficulties of transition.  It isn't an easy process.  If you can find peace with yourself now fantastic!  Just because some transition to different extents does not make one phase superior or another less than.  If you are not feeling content then perhaps it is time to see a gender therapist.  This is not a race but instead a path to a peace and acceptance of ourselves.  As far as normality...... i'm no longer sure that such a thing exists.  I do know that many with gender issues want answers that only they can answer.  Time and the help of a therapist helped me find mine.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[morrv021]

Hello everyone its been a while since I have been on here and posted anything. So here I am because I believe there are many who will understand. I think I got over excited about cross dressingand went to far eespecially since I was keeping my lifestyle from my wife, I been doing manicures and pedicures using, b&b lotions female soaps, buying more panties and bras and having fun until things started to be noticed and now after 10 years of married I think its pretty much going to end and now I have hit true side of depression and not sure how to deal with it. Any words of wisdom from those who have had to weather this kind of storm would be helpful.

[MarcieMarie12]

I let my ex-wife know a few months after I started cross dressing again. I would say that conversation did not go very well. Partly because I did not know where it was going, I thought I was "just" a cross dresser and that would be it. Over the next few months I realized it was more than that. In the end, we divorced. In hindsight it was not because I was trans. That was more of a catalyst for everything else going wrong in our marriage. I felt very neglacted and pretty much stopped caring about the relationship. She-I'm sure had her issues with me, the one thing of note was that I didn't talk about my feelings with her (my dysphoria was probably to blame there).

 

This is not the kind of storm we could weather through and ignore each others feelings, nor could I keep mine just for the sake of hers. Neither was healthy. I did tell her after a weekend of not being him, I did not want to go back. Two weeks later we were separated, and later divorced.

 

 

[Charlize]

I hid my dressing for years.  Try to be as kind and loving as you can with your wife.  It was hard for me to truly open up.  There were tears but finally honesty and in the end acceptance.  While it isn't always easy we have weathered the storm. Best of luck.  Your not alone in this struggle!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Sandra6sandy9sand]

Hi Morrov, I have lived a similar path as Charlize, hiding my cross dressing and feminine feelings.  I came out to my wife about two years ago and have moved forward very slowly since.  She would still rather have just a man round rather than  man in woman’s cloths but accepts me as I am.

 

At 73 I feel very comfortable with my life and my feminine expression.  I do not plan on starting HRT or having any surgery. I’m happy with my body and how I dress it.

 

Good luck in your journey.

 

Hugs

 

Sndra

[PaulaPlaytex]

The Best Way To Start CDing To Me Is Wearing "Undergarnents" (Lingerie)...I Love Wearing My Bras and Panties Everyday.