upset with prefection and look

[Guest Amy LeBlanc]

Hello All:

Wanted to share with everyone that I have more and more upsets with my looks and trying to get me to look more like a girl.  I have started with just dressing and looking at myself in the mirror and did not like my look and started to nit pick at myself.  So I then got myself some breast forms and how I loved them and how I loved the way they looked on me, but still nit picked and hated the way I looked.  So I then got a wig and looked and tried many wigs till I found the wig that I liked on me and how I looked, but once again I still did not like the way I looked.  I then started to looked into getting a prosthetic for me to try to make me look more like a girl and then I started to look better, but then I got turned away.  I still did not like the way I was looking and was still upsets with making myself look as close to a girl as possible, so then I have started looking into body shapers and waist chinchers.  I am getting better with my look, but I still hate the way I am looking and still feel like I need more to make me look like a girl.  Also I am now upsets with how I want to be looking like a 100% girl where I want to even look into HRT and even want to find a boyfriend now.

 

Wanted to know how many also have ran into the same circumstance as well.

 

Thank You

 

Amy   

[VickySGV]

Amy, you are the only one who can help you on this one by accepting who and what you look like as you are, or you are going to crash and burn big time.  I am Post Op, and even I look like heck in my hospital pictures that are in my gallery.  30 minutes out of anesthesia is not glamorous at all.  I have older pictures of the fat old Trans*bag with breast forms that accentuate "his" beer belly that are even worse.   (I do not have the beer belly pics on the forums for a heckuva good reason.)  It was the the belly pics that were the reason I became a 41%er when I realized I could not remain CD.

Today I do not even wear makeup other than sunscreen 90% of the time.  You see the picture maybe, but the  point is that I have accepted me, and not some "impossible dream" image that I "had to be" before I went forward with my life, and yes I did have that dream too. 

Saturday I was at a wonderful party for a 15 year old Trans* girl who is pretty and feminine as all get out.  I was asked to be one of her honorary Godmothers for part of the party, and I had my picture taken with her grandmother, mother and two aunts and a great aunt and I look like all of the other "old ladies" in that picture.  Let up on yourself and enjoy life.

[Guest Clair Dufour]

We all have a case of the fashion gene! I have lots too. Much I only wear after dark. I have friends who spend two hours getting dressed and doing makeup to pass and some have years on HRT. Others pass in tight jeans a wig and a bit of makeup and don't do HRT. Nat women have the same problems. If you want a boyfriend, don't let not having the right look stop you. There are nice guys out there who like CD's and TG's and some can even Rock a Frock too.

[tracy_j]

My early experiences were of trying all manner of makeup and clothing to make things work in passing. To some extent it worked I think but at other time it failed big time.

These days I am far more relaxed in just being me. Whether or not I pass well I don't know but the people who are important accept me.

One thing I have come to realize even more than when I first started fully dressing female is the big variation in cis women. I looked at my body shape etc and could see women with the same. These days I still look at the variance in beauty in the world. The difference now is that I have accepted that I am part of it.

Tracy

[Guest noeleena]

Hi

Many people know myself and with in our groups im a member of well over 2000 people  they know what I look like up close and theres nothing they don't know or see, I,m under inspection while on stage yes closeup and sitting right next to me whiie playing Brass band music and Orchestra   ( im  percussion  ).

you said  nit picking  im worse than that im 69 a female yes one of those real ones who never liked how she looked from age 10.and still don't . so I still get embarrised and ashamed of how I look , clothes are not the issue my body is great size shape and form height and weight   so really should not be and issue its not, just one miner little detail is,  I wont say I crack the camera lens  when its pointed at me though I did used to hide away when one was around I was gone......

facial features are my down fall or fail point in my life, I  can handle most things quite well just not this, yes I have to live with it  and as one woman I know said to me I would make a lovely handsome young man , I said yes you maybe right,   just im a female .

each one of us have gifts and we can use them we also have disadvantages yes I have quite a few  my facial features  is just a small detail yet I can make it a very huge detail

make no mistake it does get at me and does make me feel like ....some not nice word or words,.

So what can I do well I do have some , lovely advantages and I use them if you like to compensate  for  my lacks  , People are  lovely towards me because I present a loving kind woman to them and I use those many gifts I have to great advantage ,

 

So I may not look very feminine or lovely  pretty or beautifull and do my friends care about that  , Ill have to say ...NO... they see beyond my lacks and see my inner beauty ,

When im moved on they will remember who I am and what I,v done  not my lacks in the beauty or pretty side many women are,

 

  so whats more importaint how you look or who you are as a  person .    male or female .

 

...noeleena...

[Guest AshleighP]

Great comments and advice as usual. Be yourself. Look carefully at natural women, you will all sorts of body types. I have had many of the same thoughts when I dress. Some days I am happy with how I look, other days I feel I look like a guy in a skirt.

Be sure you are choosing the right style clothing for your body type. That can make a HUGE difference. I have heard women say that they wished they could wear a particular outfit and look good in it, but because of their shape, it doesn't work. The same applies to you. There are few cis women who look perfect all the time, or are always happy with how they look.

It sounds like you are making progress. Keep at it. It doesn't happen overnight. If you're like me, you have more years of seeing a man in the mirror than a woman. It takes time to see the person inside for who she is, and to embrace her. Most of all, have fun and enjoy every bit of the process!

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Amy, I look absolutely dreadful in a mirror. I clutch at straws: "this dress flatters me" or "if I pose this way I look feminine". Like you, I want to be "that girl" I imagine myself to be and when I see myself, I despair.  In truth, I look like a half-shaven beer-bellied slob out of the local bar with a badly fitting dress on.

But the important thing is: forget the mirror - I feel good about myself. I feel natural, happy and in my own element. Also, I find when I am truly happy, somehow that slob in the mirror looks more elegant, a little sexier and more like the lady I wish to be. It's an inspiration to lose weight and take care of myself, and now I am retiring from work I'll be able to devote time to that!

I'm sure I could do things more successfully, but for me once I walk away from the mirror it's who I feel I am, and how I feel. That's what makes me feel happy, positive and upbeat.

[Tanya]

I was doing my makeup on my own...all I had was eyeshadow and lipstick.  I thought I looked ok with my wig on and everything.  Well this weekend I met another cd girl.  She did my makeup, loaned me a dress and a headband for my wig.  To me. I looked totally like a hot chick with the full makeup and the dress.  I am buying more makeup and a dress to complete my more passable look. I still just do it in my own home in private.  My friend said that next time she comes into town, we are gonna get all dolled up and go out to a local cd/gay friendly club.  So I am excited but extremely nervous to go out in public.  The pic below was the "new" me.  hehehe 

[DaHudie Biz]

Looking GOOD, ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

[Jani]

Having a friend to help with make up and all is great.  Tanya you look awesome!!  I wouldn't be shy about going out.  You'll have fun. 

Jani

[Tanya]

Thank you for the compliments everyone.  hugs!!!

[tracy_j]

You are looking good Tanya

Enjoy a good outing!

Tracy