Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

What do I need to give up when I transition?


BeckyTG

Recommended Posts

I transitioned long ago and I remember others setting a date to clean out their closet and toss anything that seemed gender related.

     Others got rid of all past photos, yearbooks and the like.

     Years of living past that date has caused me to realize that I'm glad I didn't go too far on this. I remained a member of the Reunion Committee for my high school. As time passed, all the people on the committee accepted me and we just had a fabulous class reunion.  Glad I didn't toss my yearbook.  It was close.

       I also watched many others cease activities that seemed inappropriate for their gender. A number of MTFs rode Harleys, presumably to appear more masculine, so the bike had to go.

       A woman friend of mine has been involved in the social side of the biker life and I've watched her have all kinds of fun.  I need to get out of the house, so I recently bought a Harley myself and joined the local Harley Owners Group. There are quite a few women who ride their own. Then, I discovered another group for women who ride.  Holy smoke!

        I've become involved with them and have been having a great time socializing with other women bikers.

        So, the point of this post is you can still be who you are after you transition and rectify your dysphoria.   Don't think that MTFs need to learn sewing or that FTMs need to take up bull riding.  :)

         Many people who've known me a long time have marveled that, "you're the same person you've always been!".   Yes, well, duh, who else would I be?  :)

Link to comment
  • Admin

I have not abandoned any of my "Boy" hobbies, and in some ways the money I now don't have to spend on transition now finds itself back into the hobbies.  One hobby was performance audio production, and a few thousand dollars of sound equipment which I am now using with a Trans* choral group who just started their second season and is sounding great -- when I run the audio, -- not when I sing!!

For one night of my high school's 50th reunion, I went so far as to wear a custom T-shirt that had my yearbook picture on it with the logo: "In 1966 this is who we all thought I was <picture>  What did we know then?  Fooled me too!"  I actually had some people who had made my life pretty nasty back then come up and apologize for what they had done, my change and happy self made them want to reconcile with me, and slugs (from 60 years ago) turned to hugs that night. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Becky

When transitioning....

I've gave up on standing to go. I gave up on using certain phrases (no more yo bro), I gave up on trying to be something I'm not....

But really...

Happy to hear your biking interests and other life pursuits, and welcome back to the playground. I want to mention your previous posts were inspirational to read, as you were quite active when I first joined here about 6 years ago. The "starfish" post was legendary in our circle :) I brought this up to a friend here recently, we both enjoyed it. For those newer here....

I like to ride too, on/off road, I have the same bikes as before transition. I like to tinker with wrenches, I like to chop firewood, I like to camp and hike, I like to play music in bands, in fact I think I do most all of the same activities as before transition, especially the leisure activities...

Glad to have you with us again...

Cyndi -

 

Link to comment

Hi Vicki,

 

      At a high school reunion a few years back, one classmate asked people who that lady was who had a man's picture on her name tag.   LOL

      We put our senior pictures on our name tags so we could remember people we met.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, CyndiRae said:

Hi Becky

When transitioning....

I've gave up on standing to go. I gave up on using certain phrases (no more yo bro), I gave up on trying to be something I'm not....

But really...

Happy to hear your biking interests and other life pursuits, and welcome back to the playground. I want to mention your previous posts were inspirational to read, as you were quite active when I first joined here about 6 years ago. The "starfish" post was legendary in our circle :) I brought this up to a friend here recently, we both enjoyed it. For those newer here....

I like to ride too, on/off road, I have the same bikes as before transition. I like to tinker with wrenches, I like to chop firewood, I like to camp and hike, I like to play music in bands, in fact I think I do most all of the same activities as before transition, especially the leisure activities...

Glad to have you with us again...

Cyndi -

Thanks, Cyndi.  Nice to be here.

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I think with me things have been a gradual progression for many years.

I remember when I was at school, I distanced myself from much of what was masculine behaviour. I ceased to swear in public - so uncouth and as I realise now - not ladylike. I was not really into rough games.

As time went on I did ride motorbikes (in fact was not into cars for years until I did a training course for a technical trade which included driving lessons). I loved to tinker but one thing I did not like was getting dirty (I mean the inground oily hands!).

I have steadily moved away from mechanics, although this was not really a consious decision and in theory could fall right back into it if the mood takes. Occasionally it happens, very occasionlly... It is probably safer anyway as I loved to motor on and when I ride my bicycle, even now, I often speed up to an agressive pace which I think appears much less ladylike than most younger female sports cyclists.

I am artistic and love to paint and draw. I also like embroidery and dressmaking. Something which I liked but had little occasion to persue when I was younger.

That said, I was then and am now really into technical things. Predominantly electronics and low level computer programming. I love things new and old so play with old valves (tubes) as well as microchips; radio and computers. I feel I stand out when in the specialist shops since dressing a a woman, but that feeling is beginning to diminish. I still discuss things with friends as before, but I was always somewhat more abstact than they were so felt a bit out of things anyway.

Tracy

Link to comment

Well Becky, I gave up a lot.  Bad behavior, unexplained (...explainable) anger, overly aggressive behavior, all kinds of silly stuff like that.  Otherwise, like many I still like the same things as before.  I still run, hike, camp, hunt, shoot, fish, cook, can, garden, and sew (...not so good though).  I still like to do home repairs and upgrades.  I still like sports, and shows and plays, and all kinds of concerts.  

I also like to ride but I don't anymore.  I was never very good/skilled on a bike and at this point I do t want to kill myself.  But I know lots of lady bikers and biker groups.  The stereotype of "motorcycles are for men" is just ridiculous to me.

Just like what you wrote, and made me laugh...duh, who else would I be?

Link to comment
  • 3 months later...

Hhmmm....Well, I can only think of two things that I gave up subsequent to transition. The first was my gid/gd, which I found to be a very good thing; guess for me the treatments/surgeries worked.  The second thing was micturation from a standing position.  [Obviously, the latter wasn't practical following surgery.:)]

I found very little that I chose to give up, during and subsequent to gender transition.  Course everyone's different.  [Personally, I just never thought it necessary to approximate a stereotype.  I eventually did what I found to be necessary in order to live more comfortably in my own skin.]

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I had stressed over this during the early phase of transition but I soon realized that nothing need change.  At this point my only change in habits or hobbies has been due to being retired or changes in interests.  Be who you are!

Jani

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 115 Guests (See full list)

    • Mirrabooka
    • April Marie
    • Ashley0616
    • MaybeRob
    • MirandaB
    • juliusjj
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mirrabooka
      ^ Your story gives inspiration to others.
    • April Marie
      Growing stronger and confident every day.
    • April Marie
      So, yesterday's epiphany was that girl jeans fit me much nicer than boy jeans. Well, duh! So this girl is switching over to wearing girl jeans pretty much full time. I'll keep my others for work jeans. We went out to dinner last evening and I was in androgynous mode...wearing a pair of Bandolino Amy straight leg denim pants. Score!
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!! The coffee upload has started for me but just in the early stages so I'm barely coherent at this point.   You've been missed @Willow - I hope all is going well with your wife and at work.   @awkward-yet-sweet We love to make beans with rice - one of our favorite meals.   No big plans for me today. Small projects around our place and probably some reading. We're going to have some rain off and on, and the temps are still too low for a lot of outdoor work.   Be safe and enjoy this beautiful day we've been given!!
    • Willow
      Hi   boy you back to work and miss lots.  No time to catch up right now. But I will.   just wanted to let everyone know I’m still here.   willow
    • Davie
      "No one feels alone in a bookstore."
    • Davie
      Thanks, @VickySGVfor some truth. Hatred may speak loudly in a political agenda, but there is always love, there is always love.
    • VickySGV
      Doesn't this belong over in the Humor Topic??  Grim humor I admit, but it has the dark humor picture of the folks protesting the Sacramento Sanctuary Laws.  If the world is going to end next week why are these people so concerned about someone staying fertile and able to have children??   Crazy.
    • VickySGV
      Once again the opposition is telling scary, unfounded  baloney about what IS being done to any Trans Person.  The truth about the very little and very cautious treatments just will not sink into them because it will sink them.  They bully their own Cis children unmercifully to fit into their molds, and that is gruesome in itself. I am happy to say I know that Trans children and all Trans folks in the area have access to wonderful care based on what some of my former State colleagues who have Trans family members and fellow employees there in Sacramento keep telling me about. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/local-politics/republicans-gop-ballot-initiatives-target-transgender-people/73-c47ad7ee-40ca-43e0-bb83-07e662eb1029   The reason CO has a Dem super majority is b/c it's a very blue state. A ballot initiative is going to go absolutely nowhere. They're wasting their time.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/sacramento-sanctuary-city-transgender-people-rcna145287     Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      good for you dear. my guess is soreness is good sign things are going on there. water them n hope. smiles   actually was speaking to someone other day n they said the growth leveled off after a few years  which coincided with a few years of very high stress..n then when the high stress resolved, she grew another cup size..
    • missyjo
      darling I completely agree. but it will need road testing I'd think.    and I recently asked a surgeon about an idea I had for easier recovery...do a zero depth 1st..recover then add a canal..he said NO. this surgery is hard enough on body to recover, do not do it any more than needed. also said penile inversion usually is sufficient n includes a few centimeters of perineum tissue anyway..so keep the perineum pull through as a reserve technique in case there is a problem with theb penile inversion.    hugs to any who want them
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I can't tell from the article if being trans was part of the motivation for the crime, or whether it was simply incidental to it. Clearly at least one of the perpetrators was known to the victim, which seems to continue the pattern that the most dangerous people for us are often people we know.  😒
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Beans, beans, the musical fruit...   But beans and rice make a complete protein, and a pretty cheap base for any sort of meal. Since two of my partners are Hispanic and one is Asian, we use a lot of rice. Plenty of beans too, although 90% of the time they are on the form of black-eyed peas. That crop grows really well in the South no matter how hot and dry it gets.  And the Native American trio of corn, beans, and squash is a classic.  Actually, those ingredients tend to show clearly whether kids were raised with a healthy diet or not. Kids raised eating those foods luke them. Kids raised without experiencing those foods tend to reject them immediately. Rather strange.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...