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Transgender World Sees Hope


Guest mia 1

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Guest mia 1

Well I know I've been posting lots of articles from the Denver Post for all to read and today on the front page (believe it or not) is an article about the community, its travails, hopes, the younger generation Dr. Bowers, suicide, drug abuse and internet communities for the transgendered.......and more.

Discuses HRT and SRS and FFS and living stealthily and the older generation, the cost of meds, SRS and the fact that insurance doesn't pay one red cent....the difference between sex and gender and the awareness of dysphoria at the age of five or six,,,and lots more so just click this URL and grab a cup of coffee and read..I think the journalist researched info form Laura's you be the Judge......Mia http://www.denverpost.com/ci_12241313

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Guest Elizabeth K

One of the comments from a reader was something about changing species - weird:

tbizzy wrote:So if a person feels they were born a different race, even though their genetic makup tells a different story, is reassignment surgery the right approach?

For example, a caucasian person wants darker skin to appear more hispanic since they felt they should be more tan. Can we then identify that person as a minority as well, since they appear hispanic with darker skin, even though they are not?

What about a person who feels they were supposed to be a different gender altogether, like a dolphin? Do we perform surgery to add the appropriate dorsal fin to make them a dolphin?

At what point do we say that this is a mental disorder and that "reassignment surgery" is not the right solution? How are my examples any different than gender reassignment?

I wrote to the Denver Post

Angie Zapata may have opened some eyes in the non-transgender community and this very sympathetic article is a wonderful result. When commenting on the Zapata trial, unfortunately I had to read through the other comments. I was appalled and shocked at the misunderstanding, the misinformation, and the bigotry of some of those responding.

The outside world is most probably unable to understand being a transgendered person, but we do hope for a small amount of sympathy and support. It would be a good thing if people would at least educate themselves a bit before running off on some tirade about species and racial misidentity... Strange. And I have seen this 'dolphin' analogy before by others. What is that all about?

Yes, we transgender have it hard. We are not particularly happy to find ourselves at odds, mind and body. I really wish people would understand that 'nothing' about being transgendered is a choice. It is NOT a life style choice and it is certainly NOT a sexual orientation. If I had to classify my condition I would call it a misery. I simply have never seen myself in the mirror. Photographs of me seem to be of someone else. And I am not mentally ill, I am just a desperately unhappy person.

And this has been for 61 years. I have managed to playact male for all that time, after being told by my mother, age four, I HAD to grow up in a male body! I was successful as a male, getting my education and working in a professional field until I got fired for finally confessing what I am. But I was miserable all that time. I was hateful. I was self distructive.

I am now in transition. I have lost my job and will probably lose my wife. My grown children support me , possibly because they always felt my nurturing love for them. But friends and other loved ones are an 'iffy' proposition. My house will be repossesed, my possesions put up for sale, and my savings will be drained.

But I am happy now, I smile from ear to ear. Even the hate mail and the derogatory comments don't ruin my new sense of self-worth. It's expensive to be transgender, both in money and sacrifice. I just wish people would let me be, and say, "Good for you! I know you will be happy."

So people of Colorado and the world, those who support? Thank you. Those who don't? Would you please do a little research? We are really very human. I have never wanted to change species and be a dolphin.

Lizzy

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I am so happy that the article was written and it may reach some but as the old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink think!"

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Elizabeth K

And sometimes when they bend down to drink, you wanna hold their head under!

Thank you Mia for keeping us up to date. Colorado rocks!

[of course they have rocks dear - it where rocks are made - rockey mountains - duh]

Lizzy

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Guest mia 1

There will always be bigoted narrow minded non thinking people in this world and all of us have to deal with them in everyday life and unfortunately they are in the majority,,but as the bible says....."that still small voice keeps saying hope hope hope"......my eyes cry for our community but my heart breaks for the all the ignorant people who have no idea they are ignorant...if only their eyes and heart could open to who we are......what a beautiful world it would be....Mia

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Thanks for the info, Mia.

I agree, I think we are making progress regarding basic understanding. It's time for vicious old stereotypes to be laid to rest.

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Guest ~Brenda~

Hey Mia,

Overall, this story is uplifting in the sense that the article recognizes the humanity of transgendered people. That alone tells me that day is coming where we will no longer have to live in fear. On a side note, I never realized how young Angie was (I never did pick up on her age). Her life cut so short, just tragic.

Thanks Mia

bernii

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  • Admin

Liz: I love your letter to the Post. I could not have said it better if I had a week to think about it. You rock, woman!

Love,

Carolyn

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Guest Ryles_D

I wonder if we'll ever get to the point where you can transition to other races or modify it so people can look anthro. It seems to be a big thing "if someone said they were a different race/species, I wouldn't believe them" or wahtever. I don't see why not. I don't identify with my heritage at all, why can't someone identify with a heritage they weren't brought up in?

Maybe transracial will make it so that race isn't as big a deal. Maybe we'll finally make strides to get past racism and accept that everyone is a person worthy of equal respect regardless of something skin deep.

Overall, though, I'd like to stop seeing that argument. Why do people keep doing that? "If you let gay people marry, what's next? Marrying siblings or legalizing bestiality?" with the other side arguing "they said the same thing about interracial marriages". Yeah, so otherkin can be crazy- but what does that have to do with gender?

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  • Admin
There will always be bigoted narrow minded non thinking people in this world and all of us have to deal with them in everyday life and unfortunately they are in the majority,,but as the bible says....."that still small voice keeps saying hope hope hope"......my eyes cry for our community but my heart breaks for the all the ignorant people who have no idea they are ignorant...if only their eyes and heart could open to who we are......what a beautiful world it would be....Mia

I agree wholeheartedly with your thoughts, Mia. Here's a quote I think is appropriate as well.

"The mind of the bigot is like the pupil of the eye; the more light you pour upon it, the more it will contract"

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

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Transracial already done look at Micheal Jackson he was African American now he is white. And everyone thinks he is a freak for wanting to be white.

But to the non-trans folks out there who think that we don't have rights to want change. You dress up in your opposite sex for one day and tell us how you feel.

Then think about that feeling.

We feel that way 24/7 you just have to do one day.

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But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
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