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Charlize

Article about dealing with sexuality post transition

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Charlize   
Charlize

While this article is from a wife's perspective i would think it applies to both MTF's and FTM's.  I know my wife and i faced similar issues.  I found this a good read.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/12/sexuality-changed-transgender-wife/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+EverydayFeminism+(Everyday+Feminism)&mc_cid=0fc1d38ca8&mc_eid=af835f2e0b

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

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Fiona   
Fiona

That's a great article. I'm going to send it to my wife, maybe she will think about this....

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tracy_j   
tracy_j

Interesting article. It just shows how sexuality is put in turmoil and the problem with social / group behaviour.

Tracy

 

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Jani423   
Jani423

Indeed this was a good article, in fact I found a number of good articles at this site.  I bookmarked it.

Jani

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Briana   
Briana

Happy New Year everyone.  She shares some interesting personal thoughts from her experience.  Sexuality can become a difficult topic in general these days, and even more so when it involves people like some of us.  I'd bet professionals in the field would have some fairly varied thoughts and opinions on the topic.

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Faith gibson   
Faith gibson

Thanks again Charlize for this.

My wife is having problems with this right now.  It tears me up inside knowing that she is struggling so.  I am giving her the space and time she needs with the hope that she will come to the decision that I am more than the gender I identify as.  I am still the person that she has always loved and hugged.  And she still does love and hug me but is uncomfortable sharing her bed with me.  I pray this will change eventually.

She has been my biggest supporter and has been so gracious and understanding that I am beyond just feeling grateful.  This past Christmas, her and my son, accepted me on Christmas morning, as me, for the first time.  I was an amazing experience for me but what made it really special was that as I handed out presents, as has been our tradition, I came across a few presents that were addressed to 'Faith'.  I kind of came apart and cried for some time.  It was one of those moments that will last in my mind forever. I was so touched.

I believe that eventually, love will conquer societies' sterotype of what a couple is and my wife will be fully accepting of me.  If I didn't have that hope, I'm not sure how I could survive.

Faith

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Arri   
Arri

I like that article. I have found for myself, to ignore society's ideas about the bedroom. I have not changed, my heart & mind, she has not changed her heart or mind- sure it's been softer in all its presentations, but the core hasn't changed. That is what I fell in love with. 

Sometimes when a person becomes paralyzed the normal parts don't feel/ or work anymore. But for some the nerves rewire themselves so that a thumb or other spot on the feeling body can still have the good feelings. It takes time to heal, time to find that connection, time for both to get used to the new normal for them, but it can happen. Our situation is just some changes in appearance, given time reconnecting, adjusting to the differences, and ignore, get over, get past, come to terms with, the mindset of labeling. I will never be a lesbian, but I will always love who I married. That person at the core has never changed, so I don't have to either. 

I will say even if you hate the bdsm lifestyle, they do do a few things right. A contract, so you can identify all your barriers, & wether they are a hard no, or  a soft no. That could be really helpful for someone learning to adjust to the changes. No one expects something that has not been discussed & clarified that it is ok. It would help both people have a clear road map of what I can enjoy, what I can work towards enjoying, & nope never gonna happen. Those are just my thoughts. 

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