Do you think my mom would ever accept me transitioning considering she's transphobic?

[guyinside22]

My mom is pretty transphobic and it got worst as far as homophobic. But she's less hateful towards intersex people but very judgemental and rude and derogatory to some depending. Like a woman with ais she sees them as men. Because they are genetic males with undescended testis. She sees their genitalia and breast development as an abnormality. And thinks they should live as men. I'm intersex on a smaller level. I'm genetically male intersex. Xxy chromosomes. She says its pseudomale hernaphriditism for women with Swyer's syndrome but says nothing about if they should live as male or female. I'm similar to this only I am actually fertile and have the female parts. Ovaries and uterus etc.... Done two ultrasounds and no problems. I only found this out taking a DNA test for ethnic origins. Anyhow my mom also is uncomfortable about the term sex reversal in Dwyer syndrome. I have similar genes on my y chromosome. Because to her its what you started out outside of having the condition. She hates also cha going intersex peoples bodies. But she has taken to recognize I may very well have a male mind and has said stuff like if she were me shed be celibate because she didn't think I should be with men because of the genetic abnormality. We live in the same house I take care of her and stuff I want to transition in a year or so and she will be there seeing me transition. Is it possible I could explain things so it allows her be OK with my transitioning?

[VickySGV]

It will depend on a number of things, one of which is your mother's willingness to learn some new things.  What you describe about her current views though and her getting just enough truth into what she says and refusing to take on information that conflicts with her views paint a dim picture of her accepting you immediately or even in the near future. 

[Guest]

All I can say is that sometimes, being closer to home changes their mind. Good luck, sweetie........

[guyinside22]

11 hours ago, Fiona said:

All I can say is that sometimes, being closer to home changes their mind. Good luck, sweetie........

She's known how I felt for a while. But didnt know I was intersex until recently and has not had a bad reaction so far... She says stuff like that she understands why I'm mentally more male and the like etc.... But nothing in the sense tuat I should transition or anything though. I guess idk how to ease her into it 

[guyinside22]

21 hours ago, VickySGV said:

It will depend on a number of things, one of which is your mother's willingness to learn some new things.  What you describe about her current views though and her getting just enough truth into what she says and refusing to take on information that conflicts with her views paint a dim picture of her accepting you immediately or even in the near future. 

Well she doesnt care about learning. Its more if her beliefs can be comfortable with the idea considering the situation.

[Guest]

10 hours ago, guyinside22 said:

She's known how I felt for a while. But didnt know I was intersex until recently and has not had a bad reaction so far... She says stuff like that she understands why I'm mentally more male and the like etc.... But nothing in the sense tuat I should transition or anything though. I guess idk how to ease her into it 

My wife thought I was a crossdresser for 30 years, so did I. We know when we know. 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi guyinside,

That sounds like a tough situation. I wish I had a rosey reply for you. You said you hoped there was some way to help her understand within her set of beliefs. Real acceptance will require a change of beliefs. You can't believe something to be wrong and accept it as right. One must either dogmaticly stick to thier old beliefs, or change them. As long as the conversation remains hypothetical, she's not likely to change her beliefs. To change those beliefs often requires something dramatic to force one to re-evaluate. And it can be a rough road, even if the beliefs do change. I have seen and experienced changes in beliefs happen this way. Good luck guyinside. Remember, we are always here for you however things go along the way.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[guyinside22]

3 hours ago, Timber Wolf said:

Hi guyinside,

That sounds like a tough situation. I wish I had a rosey reply for you. You said you hoped there was some way to help her understand within her set of beliefs. Real acceptance will require a change of beliefs. You can't believe something to be wrong and accept it as right. One must either dogmaticly stick to thier old beliefs, or change them. As long as the conversation remains hypothetical, she's not likely to change her beliefs. To change those beliefs often requires something dramatic to force one to re-evaluate. And it can be a rough road, even if the beliefs do change. I have seen and experienced changes in beliefs happen this way. Good luck guyinside. Remember, we are always here for you however things go along the way.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

She agrees with transition in some cases. Like I said with women with ais she thinks it should be mandatory. But with people like me I'm all female except my chromosomes. But the whole situation is more a result of the condition seemingly...

[Charlize]

One of the best things i can say at this point is perhaps how good it is that you are discussing these issues both here and with your mom.  I know that i hid for years and it hurt me deeply.  Perhaps it would help if both of you went to a therapist who specializes in gender issues.  that helped me accept myself, find a path and then reach out to family.  it still wasn't and isn't easy but it is so much better than it has ever been.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Khoriilya]

I hope your mom accepts you.

My mom was killed in a car wreck a couple of years ago.  I would like to think she would have accepted me as being transgender.  But deep down, I know she would not have because of her religious beliefs.