Facebook post - rewrite

[Cindy Truheart]

Okay, so I posted what I was going to put on Facebook here and I got a lot of good suggestions! I decided that I really was giving WAY too much information! So I started over and came up with this, please let me know what you think!

"I’ve been keeping a secret and it’s time to tell it.

I’ve always known that I was different. As a child I didn’t completely understand what was different. But I suffered a lot from bullies of all ages for being who I am. As I grew up, I searched for answers but I could never figure it out. I felt as if everyone around me was stuffing me into a box somehow. It was uncomfortable, stifling, annoying, irritating, and it chaffed in the worst possible way! But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find the reason for why I felt this way. Eventually I gave up and stuffed myself into that box thinking that I had no other choice. And I have to admit, part of me stopped looking out of fear for what I may find.

Well, recently some part of me overcame that fear and at the same time the right information was presented to me because I finally found my answers. You see, I’m Transgender. My denial of this part of myself gave me the ability to blend in, but it also gave me a deep and chronic depression that I’ve lived with through my teen years and my entire adult life. You probably haven’t seen it because I learned how to hide aspects about myself when I was very young. I’ve slowly been getting worse as time has gone by however, and for a while I seemed destined to commit suicide by alcohol poisoning. But I found a fantastic therapist who has helped me figure a lot of things out and kept me from making mistakes. So I’m much better now! And I’m looking forward to my new life!

I know that this is likely a shock to you. But please understand that I’m the same person I’ve always been! It isn’t like I’ve suddenly changed my personality, I’m still me! I encourage you to take your time with this and to process it however you need to. It’s taken me and ***** a while to process things ourselves so we understand. And in case you are wondering, ***** has been the most supportive and loving wife EVER! We are both doing great, still in love and not leaving each other’s side for anything! If you would like to know more, or if you have any questions or concerns, please just message me. In a few days I will be changing my name, gender, and profile picture here on Facebook. I look forward to showing you all the new me!

"

[Aanzinaago'Stephanie]

Hi Cindy, thank you for sharing your thoughts.

When I read what you wrote, here's what I got from it: You've been struggling with depression and identity, you are coming out as trans, that your wife is supportive, and that you are open to communication.

I think it does tell a good bit about you and your suffering and how you are accepting you for you.

This is a lot more than what I did. But my friends and family always knew I was gay, so when I said I was trans, it was a bit of a shock. But I had made a healthy boundary for myself to accept the support of those who would be there for me and to remove from my FB those that were ashamed or worried about liking stuff etc... (I had to remove my parents and told them when they are ready, I will accept them and explained why I removed them from my page). ** I realize you weren't asking what I did personally, but I wanted to share it with you and hope maybe you can gain some personal insight? That or I love "talking".

I know I am miles away from you, so all I can give you is my sincere hopes that it will be well received and you will be happy to have told them.

Love, Stephanie

[Jani]

Cindy this is a wonderful write up.  You get an A+.  This is clear and to the point.  I think everyone will quickly understand what and why.   I sincerely hope you get all the love you have shown here in return from your friends and family.  You go girl!

Jani

[Cindy Truheart]

Thank you all! It's still going to be a while before I can post this, probably another 8 weeks or so. And I still need to talk my wife into it, she thinks I shouldn't make a post and instead just change my profile and let people figure it out. On the one hand she is right, these people don't pay my bills and have no emotional investment in my life, but on the other hand I do want to stand up and get people to recognize that we are people too. By making this post I hope that people online will see that I'm still the same person I was before. Bringing this from the realm of "happens to other people" into the realm of "real life" can sometimes change people simply because they see we aren't so different from them.

Anyway, that is the activist-hippy in me! I always wanted to make the world a better place and that just seems to come out in me more and more every day! I can't wait to get settled in our new home so that we can get active in the political process and maybe join some protests for good causes!

[Jani]

Cindy, while I think this is a wonderful story to present to your Facebook followers your wife does have a point in that these people for the most part do not have an emotional investment in your life.  I'm not saying only those with that connection deserve an explanation of whats going on with you but with 8 weeks to go you still have time to consider and fine tune this writeup.  I don't know how Facebook works and if you can send this version to a sub group that is closer to your family and a stripped down version to the general population of your followers.  I hope I'm clear here... 

Either way, I think you're doing fine and I laud your desire to help the world understand our community better. 

Jani

[MarcieMarie12]

When I came out on facebook it was a last thing comming out on for precisely that reason. Some long time friends, I wanted to maintain contact with I wrote a PM to en mass. Saying hey, I have another FB, oh btw the name on FB is Marcie and briefly described what I have been going through and to expect a friend request from me. It did not go to people I had not heard from nor had any emotional attachment to, nor was it public on the old page.

One reason was faceboook does not like people making whole new profiles. and if some one reports you they will take notice and ban you (at least I heard that happening). So basically all the FB people I was not sure of their reaction or that did not know me well only noticed my old FB page going down. 

[Tejana]

4 hours ago, Cindy Truheart said:

Thank you all! It's still going to be a while before I can post this, probably another 8 weeks or so. And I still need to talk my wife into it, she thinks I shouldn't make a post and instead just change my profile and let people figure it out. On the one hand she is right, these people don't pay my bills and have no emotional investment in my life, but on the other hand I do want to stand up and get people to recognize that we are people too. By making this post I hope that people online will see that I'm still the same person I was before. Bringing this from the realm of "happens to other people" into the realm of "real life" can sometimes change people simply because they see we aren't so different from them.

Anyway, that is the activist-hippy in me! I always wanted to make the world a better place and that just seems to come out in me more and more every day! I can't wait to get settled in our new home so that we can get active in the political process and maybe join some protests for good causes!

When one self-discloses, even to close friends, there is always a risk.  To disclose to those who are only casual friends, or even merely acquaintances ups the ante with re: to security risks far more than I could ever find acceptable.  Fortunately, most of the risks I have incurred were suffered only by myself and no one else.

In retrospect, I believe I unnecessarily disclosed too much to too many folks.  If I had to do it over again, I would have chosen to disclose to far fewer people.  I genuinely believe that if I had take the latter course, both myself & many of those to whom I self-disclosed would have better off.

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Activism...no, not me.  I have and will continue to advocate for an individual when I view such actions to be necessary.   I don't do political causes anymore though.  It was an  unpleasant experience to find that some of the causes I supported eventually reached fruition...only for me to realize that the causes for which I advocated were not be what I had signed up for....leaving me feeling dirty and used...by folks who were working covert agendas. 

Prudence can be a virtue.  Best wishes.