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Being trans and mormon in 2017

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This board has seen slower times, but not many, so let's keep it alive!

About me: I'm an active mormon, I have several callings in my ward, my wife and I were married in the temple and have kids, but...I'm transgender.

It took me years to discover and realize I was trans--for a long time I just thought I was weird, then thought I was just a crossdresser, but looking back all those times I knew I was lying to myself.  I didn't want to be trans because I didn't want that to be me.  I didn't even know being transgender was an option until about age 15 when a friend of mine pointed out a woman and said "see that chick! she used to teach at our school--when she used to be a man. Now she's a woman!" I feigned disgust with my group of friends but deep down, something clicked inside me as I saw the possibility.

Even on my mission, I daydreamed of what it would have been like to report to the MTC in girl mode and be a "sister" for the duration of my calling.  I thought I could make this go away but it never did for all 2 years of my mission, and never has in all 10 years of my marriage.

So what do I do now? I don't know.  I'd love to know what others are doing who don't want to leave the church but don't want to live as their assigned at birth gender anymore.

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Hi Katie

Welcome :)

I presume from what you say that you have been around for a while without joining in so you will know people are friendly here.

Personally I have  no experience of the mormon faith and very little of the likely situation you are in, but I know there are others here who have far more knowledge, so will leave things to them. I know things do depend a lot on your local situation though as things vary a lot state by state and even locally.

You also do not mention your family situation. Are they aware to any degree? This can make a lot of difference.

Anyway, it is nice to meet you. Please join in and ask questions as you feel. You will soon get a feel of things!

Tracy x


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15 minutes ago, tracy_j said:

Are they aware to any degree?

I have talked with my wife about this a few times but she is very anti to the whole crossdressing/transgender thing, so I don't expect to get a lot of support from her if I ever were to take any aspect of being a girl out of the closet.

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Hi Katie,

I'd love to be of more help, but unfortunately our experiences are quite a bit different. I was raised Mormon, and I loved it. Like you, I was active and temple-going, but I was never quite a missionary. I always struggled with my gender identity and Mormonism's expectations for me. Finally, for reasons completely unrelated to my gender, I stopped believing. 

That was a rough trip. In a lot of ways, it was like the end of a serious relationship. I mean, it was. My relationship with the organization that I loved and had around me since I was a child was suddenly over. However, this allowed me to explore my gender, identity, and future in ways I couldn't before. So now, it's been almost two years since I started hormones. I live full-time as a woman, and most people would never expect that I was born male (at least that's what they say). 

Let me know if there's anyway I can help.

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