Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Any quick Tips?


ValSpirit

Recommended Posts

I figure until i can get myself some more help with counseling i am going to work on stopping my drinking habit to the best of my ability. However i am so bored at night without it. I also can't get to sleep. Anyone have any tips or distractions i could use?  

Link to comment
  • Admin

Well, every now and then one of my AA meetings can put me to sleep with some speakers I know, but at other meeting I leave with such a good feeling that I do not want to drink, just enjoy the feeling that I do not get any other way.  Depending on where you are there in Penn, you might just run into another member from here and that can be helpful as  well.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi ValSpirit,

Just do things, even if you don't feel like it and it's not much fun. It could be anything. Housecleaning, dishes, watch tv or movies, read a book. It will take up time, get you into the habit of doing that instead of drinking. And if you choose evening chores, it can make you tired and help quicken the end of the sleepless or troubled sleep nights. Just a few ideas I've learned in my recovery program.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I have so many hobbies that I forget about drink much of the time. As Timber Wolf says - just do things - keep busy. Another thing I often do is to plan ahead to being in bed. plan what I will dream about, I use dreaming for planning what outings to go on and what I will wear. I tend to be busy when I am up so arrange in my mind to do that. It oftens does not workout as I fall asleep, but at least it helps me sleep. Being in bed and not having to do something is a quiet time for planning!

Tracy

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

When i finally confronted my drinking habit i was well past the point where i knew i simply couldn't stop.  I had gotten to the point where i drank because i had to drink.  Like you i wondered what i'd do without alcohol. How would i ever sleep?  I couldn't live with or without it.  I had gotten to the point of life being a living hell.  I certainly wasn't able to do anything about my gender issues.

Fortunately i had heard of AA and in desperation i made it to a meeting.  That was over 10 years ago.  I'm happy and fall sleep (most of the time).  Also amazingly it was the first situation where i was able to honest about myself with straight, cis gendered folks.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

All greats points and ultimately i am going to start AA because i know i have to. Its getting later in the day and i have nothing for tonight if i wanted it. I literally do not want to go out and get anything but i know as it gets closer to the time to store closes i have that urge. So for today its going to be a busy night just doing things to tire myself out.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I don't know if you ever go to the chatrooms here but tonight at 9 eastern at the substance abuse room we have a meeting.  I do my best to be there and often other alcoholics or folks with substance issues or confusion come for conversation about their use.  There are also other sources and meetings in the pinned posts in this forum.  i have found that TGAA has been great.  We have a chat like e-mail meeting as well as a meeting of trans* folks in which we can see and talk to each other (or hide, watch and listen) three times a week.  The information is pinned here as well.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest cerise

Hi everyone. In the early days of mine and others we used to follow the idea of 'Do it till it hurts!' Meaning , go to lots of meetings daily, as much as you can.

Find small meetings where you can share deeply and be vulnerable without fear of being judged or where your share is commented apon.

Crosstalk is ultimately damaging and its incredible to witness so many AAs with years of sobriety that feel it is okay to comment directly on something that is said or even speak directly to the newcomer. I stay away from these meetings now but it took a while to honor those feelings.

Find people who have relatively the same amount of sobriety as you and walk with them on your journey through recovery. You will become long time friends with the ones you click with and the ones who respect mutual boundaries.

AA is not perfect by any means and it's imperfection could be why it works. There are lots of strong personalities in AA and learning how to accept the inherent flaws and weirdness of all those involved is a big part of long term sobriety.

above all.......Keep Coming Back:)

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment

While I've never been an actual alcoholic myself, I did have a problem, until I started dealing with my trans stuff. Within a few days I basically stopped drinking. These days, I have an occasional drink or two.

I think it started out as painkiller, then just became a habit, that I'm glad finally broke. I wish you much luck.......

Link to comment

For me AA has been invaluable in figuring what to do without drinking. After several years of sobriety I find the support and help I find in the AA program can help me through the emotional turmoil life provides. They have been very supportive of my transition too!

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 130 Guests (See full list)

    • EasyE
    • Lorelei
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,945
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • EasyE
      So, I jumped on the "E" train last week and am about 10 days into my HRT journey. I have the tiniest patch available. I laughed when I opened it. "This little thing is supposed to give me more feminine characteristics?"   I haven't really felt much of anything so far, not that I expected to at this point. I am really, really tired but that may be other factors (like staying up too late to watch NCAA basketball every night). The one noticeable difference is that my libido seems to be a lot more subdued. Not that I am proud of this, but the big M was a practically a daily part of life for me. My daily comfort and way to get an endorphin hit or just deal with loneliness. The past week, though, has been, "meh." Is that the HRT tamping things down? Or just a normal down cycle for me? Not sure yet. Time will tell.   I have been very quiet about things overall. Only a few people know. No one in my immediate family. I fear the backlash I will get when they find out. Worst- case scenario, my daughters stop talking to me. That would kill me. I hope I can show them over time, "See, I am still me."   Met with my endo on Wednesday. He is good for me to up the dose when I feel comfortable. For now, I think I am going to stand pat and take things nice and slow. Of course, I could see myself tomorrow asking him to send in the script for the higher dose...   I keep asking myself, what is the end game with all of this. Unlike many on here, I don't have a concrete answer yet. I am not convinced I will "go all the way" and change my name and ID, etc. Part of me would love to soldier on just as I am but with a lot more feminine physical characteristics and a more distinctly feminine wardrobe. What does that make me? Non-binary? Not sure.  Again, I am just me, as unorthodox as that is...   All I know is that this is something I want to do. I am comfortable walking this path for now. Again, we'll see. As always, would appreciate any feedback the more experienced folks may have. Blessings to all!    EasyE
    • Ivy
      I grew up with it, my mother's side were Germans.  I still like cabbage.  I make a sweet/sour dish with vinegar and brown sugar, add some bacon if you have it.  And in warmer weather, slaw.  I like that better if it's a few days old, and has worked off a little.
    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...