AnswerSeaker

TG Dateing question

10 posts in this topic

Hello all, I need some advice. I have been seeing my girlfriend for a little over 5 months  (she's tg) Now my problem, How can I stop her from always referring to herself as a Trans instead of the beautiful woman that she is! She always questions my love for her like she expects me to hurt her someday. How can I help her see that I love her for who she is a beautiful sexy smart woman who is also my best friend. I have told her this many times I know she loves me but how can I get her to trust in my love for her? 

If I'm off base with anything I'm grateful for any and all advice. Thank you.

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She is going to have to work that out herself. There is not much you can do but be there for her. As to her trust issues, not knowing her personally I would not offer any advice. Just that I know many transpersons that get rejectedby family, spouses and long time partners when they come out. So they get used to be rejected.

 

Hugs,

Marcie

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As for her referring to herself as trans, that is her choice and right. I know many transgender people that strive to drop that label, but also many that are proud of being a transgender woman. If she is proud of her identity she should hold onto it. My question to you is are you uncomfortable with her referring to herself as trans?

Dating when you're transgender can be very hard. We hear a lot of horror stories. Chasers, guys that want the porn experience, guys that think dating us makes them gay or bi. It can be hard to believe that we might be one of the rare ones that fines a guy that truly loves us for the women we are. Please be patient with her, and be supportive and she will eventually realize that she is one of the lucky one.

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I have no problem with her referring to herself as trans but she wants to be treated as a woman but most of the time when people find out she's trans they change become egnorant -censored- (excuse the language ). I love this woman and I do not care who knows it as long as they treat her with respect! As for me I am not gay, bi or confused I'm simply in love with my best friend. I will support and be there for her always. .

Thank you for the advice...

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I might suggest that she is struggling to find a way to accept herself as the woman she is.  I know that has been a struggle for me.  Learning to love myself and not somehow think i was "wrong" is difficult in a society where there may not always be acceptance.  For me it simply has taken time.  Hopefully she will also find peace with herself and will no longer doubt that she is actually lovable.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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I find that it is mostly building up confidence which takes time.I find myself wondering what I am at times, but am generally confident these days. I do use the label 'trans' but largely only with people I have known for years and see me in a transitory state. Usually I am male or female. As female I would only likely use the term 'trans' as a fallback, and even then I naturally feel it to be wrong, just a convenience for the wellbeing of others.

Tracy

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They say seeing is believing. It's natural to want to find the words to tell her, but as Ronnie Milsap says, "you've got to show her". In other words, go with the advice given above. Just keep treating her as the beautiful woman she is. Let her see it. Seeing is believing.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾🍀🌷🌾🍄

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Thank you all for the advice. ..As of May -10- 2017 my beautiful fiance and I are setting a date to be married!  She's not only my best friend but the love of my life... Thanks again everyone without this site I had no where to turn for advice without being judged. 

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Congratulations!!

               _
        mMm  _[_]_
       /(")\  (")
      //)^(\\//:\\
     /(/&@&\\/|~|/
    / /-~`~-\ |||
jgs `/       \|||
    `----------'--

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Yay!:applause:

Congratulations! I wish you two a world of happiness together.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾🍀🌷🌾🍄

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