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Childhood...?


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Hey ho!

I identify as agender and I'm pretty sure about that now because it's the way I feel and the way I express myself (as good as possible) and so on. But I wonder... do I must had to express myself as gender neutral when I was a child? Or would my gender still be agender even if I dressed up like a girl/ boy and act like one? I mean... am I still agender? I'm kinda confused right now... I don't remember my childhood pretty well, mostly because I had a pretty hard time back then. I think... I just had other things in mind than to care about gender so I let the society did its job... or something like that. I'm gonna ask my parents about what they think how I expressed myself. Maybe it helps... or confuses me more, I don't know...

 

Yeah long and confusing I know. Sorry about that but I have this thoughts a while now and I just wanted to know what you think about that.

 

Love and hugs :alien:

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I think when your a child a lot of the time the situation is beyond your control. It also depends on how strict your parents were about following gender norms. In my case, I loved a lot boy stuff, but also when given a chance could enjoy the girl stuff (did not happen often and less as I got older). But, it was also the 80's so anything feminine in my speech, manners, etc. etc, got suppressed real quick by peer pressure from the boys I was friends with. I also thought wanting to be a girl was the great secret no boy talked about (apparently this is not the case). For me, until I understood myself better, it was a cycle of denial, enjoying dressing up, shame, purge, repeat for a while (well 42 years). 

 

.

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My parents weren't really strict and they always say that I'm more like a boy than a girl, even my friends say that. They wouldn't mind if I were trans or anything and they don't mind me being agender. My personal opinion why I acted/ act more like a boy, is that I wanna have a balance between my body (female) and my appearance (male). Maybe it doesn't make sense to anybody else but to me it does.

And btw I'm glad that you understand yourself better now :) 

 

Love and hugs :alien:

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