Article: Trucking a Good Profession for Many Trans Folk

[Carolyn Marie]

https://melmagazine.com/the-trucking-industry-is-the-perfect-fit-for-many-transgender-people-a25f753e65c9

We've got a couple of members who would agree with this premise.

Carolyn

[Guest]

Been there done that. Then I moved on.

[Dakota16]

I read the article with a unique view. I do have a CDL, but I only have a class B and limited to buses. Working for a bus company, I'm in a position where I can be out on the road but still have to interact with passengers. I drove a trip about six weeks ago to Washington DC (multiple buses, all filled with middle school students) where I had to repeatedly tell the "head teacher" on my bus that I'm a woman and prefer female pronouns (and finding myself on more than one occasion wondering what kind of example this guy was setting for his students). He'd get it right for maybe 10-15 minutes, then was right back to using male pronouns with me. To his credit, he did get my name right the entire time, but that probably had to do with the name tag on my shirt that said "Dakota" in easy-to-read letters.

In dealing with groups of people over the last four months since going full-time as me, I've found how they read me to be a crap shoot. Sometimes they get it right, sometimes they don't. A few have flat out asked what they should call me. But despite that, I've never had a negative experience with passengers (not yet anyway) over my gender. Although I have to admit it's always in the back of my mind.

But I totally get the feeling of being able to breathe easy while on the road. I'll use truck stops and turnpike service areas as rest areas if I have passengers on board, and I haven't encountered a truck driver or truck stop/service area employee who called me out on gender. I also absolutely love deadheading buses long distances. I rarely use a truck stop while deadheading, but will use rest areas all the time (I haven't yet had the pleasure of traversing North Carolina since I started transitioning). It's a wonderful feeling knowing I can let go of the anxieties of dealing with passengers and just be me...just another woman driving a commercial vehicle.

[Drea]

I think the key word is "many".  I've known many people who in transition went into trucking as a perceived solution.  While I've also known people in trucking insisting it was a terrible industry for trans people and someplace they could never transition.

I do not accept the precept that many within the community express about jobs with public contact as being a special problem and that less public contact, a more insular environment is in some way a solution.  I tend to think this is to a large extent is driven from negative thought processes.

One frequent issue trans people have is social anxiety and/or social skills issues.  Between that and perhaps low self esteem insular environments can seem safe. 

Transition, especially RLE/RLT is a time where one can experience a great deal of personal growth in the area of social anxiety and social skills, but it that is difficult and anxiety producing.  I've known many with severe issues come thru this crucible having grown considerably.

I am not saying trucking is bad, I just feel that going into that as a way of insulating oneself from social interaction may be a matter of avoiding issues that if one confronted one could experience growth.

[Carolyn Marie]

2 hours ago, Drea said:

.I do not accept the precept that many within the community express about jobs with public contact as being a special problem and that less public contact, a more insular environment is in some way a solution.  I tend to think this is to a large extent is driven from negative thought processes..

I agree, Drea.  In my case at least, I had considerable anxiety about how I would be treated by people in the business community with whom I interacted daily or weekly.  That turned out to be a non-issue.  Then, after retirement, I had the same anxiety when embarking on my "career" as a museum volunteer.  Again, it turned out to be a non-issue.

Not everyone blends in as easy as I do, and not everyone will be as fortunate with their public contacts.  But I do think that social anxiety is a problem that feeds on itself, and can be very destructive to one's self esteem and chances for a successful transition.

Carolyn Marie

[Drea]

I agree with most everything you said Carolyn and certainly your experiences parallel my own.

I do tend to disagree on the point of "blending".  I am not saying that that you don't blend, but rather the assumption that blending in itself solves the public social issue.  I have seen lots of folks transitioning who view "passing" (akin to blending) not as a measure of personal comfort, but as a necessity to avoid employment and other social issues.

I been out there,  Not openly saying I am trans, but not trying to blend.  Being openly, well to be blunt...odd and perhaps confusing.  My own personal discovery was that being in this middle space was no big deal.  Sure I was odd, but I wasn't spending time justifying myself, time identifying myself.  I was simply being and in doing so learned that if I didn't draw special attention and was decent and was pleasant, it just never was an issue.  And yes, it is a learned skill.  For some easier, for others not so easy.  For me I would say it was a challenge, but these sorts of situations sort of forced me to grow in that fashion after avoiding such for so many years. 

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

8 hours ago, Drea said:

I am not saying trucking is bad, I just feel that going into that as a way of insulating oneself from social interaction may be a matter of avoiding issues that if one confronted one could experience growth.

I don't know, I talk to people daily, be it office workers, dock workers, other truck drivers, store cashiers, diner waitresses, mechanics. Just recently my truck was in our company shop in Indianapolis, so I spent the majority of my time Thursday afternoon and Friday sitting outside, at one of the picnic tables under an awning talking to other company drivers or people here for orientation. When I was moved to a hotel for the weekend, I started off keeping more to myself in my room but during the course of the day I met three other company drivers staying there and hung out with them for part of Saturday and Sunday. While the guys ran to Walmart for some things Saturday night, I had some great "girl time" with a lady I had met and we talked mainly about makeup.

While I agree that it's very easy to isolate yourself in this field, it's also very easy to be sociable. Some times you have to talk to people to conduct business in this industry. Other times, conversations just happen. Or you can work on your social skills by making conversations happen. Compliment a female employee on her nails. Ask the person at Subway how their day is going. Sit at the counter at the truck stop diner: someone will probably talk to you eventually. (most likely to ask who you drive for and how you like the company you're with)

Also, spending hours by yourself every day is a good opportunity to practice voice exercises and training. If the need or desire arises, you have each morning before you get going down the road to apply/practice makeup if that's something you want to learn or get better at.

It is what you make it.

I schedule my endo and electrolysis appointments for when I'm home every 6 weeks. I refill most of my HRT medications while out on the road, wherever I may be at the time when I'm running low and have a chance to get to a Walgreens. If I have a chance out on the road to go shopping, I will. Or I'll shop online and it'll be waiting at the house for me when I get home.

I've been truck driving for 8.5 years. I've completed the majority of my transition during the last 6.5 years with the company I'm currently with (who was very accepting and supportive of me from the very start).

But unlike some, I don't purposefully avoid NC bathrooms. 

P.S. while the original article did focus some on sex and random hookups, that's something I choose to not engage in out here.

[Carolyn Marie]

On 6/15/2017 at 9:58 PM, Lizzie McTrucker said:

Also, spending hours by yourself every day is a good opportunity to practice voice exercises and training. If the need or desire arises, you have each morning before you get going down the road to apply/practice makeup if that's something you want to learn or get better at.

It is what you make it.

Lizzie, I was hoping you would contribute to this thread.  You always have great advice and "road wisdom" to share.  Thanks!

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Annutty]

Another trans truck driver here. I prefer isolation, and I love that I don't have coworkers. I do just fine socially, now that I have my voice where I want it and nobody misgenders me or clocks me. I just don't like having to talk to people I'm never going to see again. You can be like me and just stay in your truck and watch videos and play video games, or hang out in the truck stop and talk to other drivers.... Drivers love to talk. But I tend to stay away from other drivers because we tend to have almost nothing in common except work and who wants to talk about that when you aren't working?

As for the sex stuff, I have no earthly idea (I'm asexual, and seem to have a huge disconnect in understanding sexuals and why they would have sex with strangers.... Or sex at all....). I've been driving for 3.5 years and the only thing I've seen is a guy in a car masturbating while driving (eww).  

  The most negative part of driving is how it affects your health. You sit all day eating truck stop food and drinking soda and caffeine... It's just not good for you long term.

 Oh yeah I'm the first trans person to transition at my company.  And they are cool with it. So that's good.