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Sorry, this could fit in several places and I wasn't sure which was best so I just picked here. I"m really confused and looking for advice.

So this is where I am. I see myself as non-binary/trans-masc - essentially, masculine of centre but not fully male (I'm AFAB). In Feb this year, after a very long process of acceptance (years long) I saw a GP at a Trans and Gender Diverse GP Clinic who said I could absolutely access low-dose T, and we could make it flexible - so taper it if/when I started experiencing symptoms I wasn't comfortable with. Great, right? But you can only get T with a psychologist's consent so he referred me to a psychologist who specialises in gender assessments. After three sessions with the psych where gender was discussed for a total maximum of 5 mins, he says I'm not trans (which I never claimed to be) and he's not willing to do a full gender assessment. He said I could go somewhere else and they may approve me for T and it may help, but in his view I'm very dissociative.. which means T may not help. He says to address my dissociation will require therapy for "a long time and maybe a very long time". 

I'm confused because some of what he says makes sense. And I guess I can live with waiting longer for T if necessary - I've made it this long, after all. But I really don't know whether // how much to trust him. He's very expensive. How can I know he's not just stringing it along for his own reasons? (I should say I've googled him and asked all the queer people I know and not heard anything negative about him but.. ?)

Has anyone else been told they're too dissociative for T? 


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I'd get a second opinion and maybe a third.  I'm not saying the guy you talked to doesn't know what he's talking about,  just that he doesn't have to be the end of the line.  Maybe T is right for you, maybe it's not.  It's always a good idea to get another opinion.  You'll know when the therapist you're talking to "gets it" and their council will feel right to you or at least provoke the questions in you that need answers.  Then you'll know you're in the right place.  Keep looking & searching.  Best wishes for your journey.

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You are not the first person here to have run into this problem, and it does apply to both genders.  Dissociation does come in a little more in AFAB to male / masculine situations than in AMAB to female / femme ones and we do have things here on the forums that talk about it.  You say that you spent much more time on things other than actual Gender Dysphoria and it is in those things that you did give the evidence of the psychological phenomena.  Hormones, especially T can be dangerous and could also interfere with dealing with the dissociation issues.  The doctor's first line is to be sure you are not harmed if there could be other roads to the meeting of your real needs. 

I do agree that you may want to find another therapist at least for verification of this doctor's findings and decisions, and this doctor did say others may not share their concerns.  Dissociation does cover a very wide range of things, including issues that I have dealt with long after I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria where HRT was appropriate.  Even without the hormones you can still present in the ways you feel most comfortable without the doctor's permission. 

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