Without make-up

[Clara84]

Some people told me I can pass without make up. I absolute don't believe them.

I do notice some nice changes on my face.

The no make-up picture, just 20 minutes after waking up.

[Clara84]

Today I tried to go out with much lighter make-up than usually.

I am not sure I passed because I haven't met a lot of people. But no one has been weird-looking at me.

[TexasLibraryLady]

Personally I think you pass perfectly fine in the first picture. The second one is nice too. I stopped wearing even my concealer, which was usually the only make-up I used unless I was going out to a special event, a couple months ago.

[Clara84]

It's amazing. But I don't feel confident yet without heavy make-up. Some friends told me I look like a Barbie when I do heavy makeup. (It's not a compliment, but almost Barbie is a girl ;-) )

[VickySGV]

Based on your no-make-up picture and the one under it, I would suggest going for one shade darker on your foundation, but maybe too as a creme compact type instead of a liquid.  The purpose of the foundation is to even out, and not hide your complexion color, and if it is too light, it does give the "china doll" effect that I think your friends are talking about.  Make the color a little more matte. Your eyes in the lower picture are fine for evening wear, but for the day, use eye shadow that is two or three shades darker than your foundation but in a more tan color and it will tone down the heaviness they are talking about. Go for a brown eyeliner on the top eyelid and forget the mascara.   I really think your hair in the top picture looks great and should be your normal wear that way,  Some of your pictures have shown too many sparkly hair clips and pins which keep your hair from helping to shape your face which it does in the top picture.  A warm, secure smile also adds a sparkle to your face.  You are not trying to put on a mask, which many of us feel we need to in our early stages, you are taking a very nice face and making it show our inner person who is softer and yet more color rich that we have shown in our lives.   

[tracy_j]

In my opinion the first picture is best for everyday. Where I live very few women wear more than a touch of makeup during the day. The first picture is a more natural look, which is more usual. Here you would totally stand out as in the second pic, except perhaps in the city centre.

Almost no women here would wear such heavy use of mascara other than to a night club / evening out. It is similar with the glittery eyshadow as well. The recommendations I have found over the years are for just the upper lashes in the daytime, using brown other than black in moderation (if at all). Eyshadow being more sudued.

My approach these days for daily wear is for some foundation (as it includes sunscreen and evens things out). Eyebrow colour (my brows are trimmed short and fairly colourless), a touch of mascara on upper lashes only and a fairly non obvious lipstick (pink or subdued red). I do attempt to cover any shadow above my upper lip. I am somewhat older so I try to keep things low key (although I am sometimes a bit outgoing so totally get it wrong ). Depending on your location things may be Ok but one thing to notice is what are other women of your age where you are wearing?

Tracy

[Clara84]

1 hour ago, VickySGV said:

Based on your no-make-up picture and the one under it, I would suggest going for one shade darker on your foundation, but maybe too as a creme compact type instead of a liquid.  The purpose of the foundation is to even out, and not hide your complexion color, and if it is too light, it does give the "china doll" effect that I think your friends are talking about.  Make the color a little more matte. Your eyes in the lower picture are fine for evening wear, but for the day, use eye shadow that is two or three shades darker than your foundation but in a more tan color and it will tone down the heaviness they are talking about. Go for a brown eyeliner on the top eyelid and forget the mascara.   I really think your hair in the top picture looks great and should be your normal wear that way,  Some of your pictures have shown too many sparkly hair clips and pins which keep your hair from helping to shape your face which it does in the top picture.  A warm, secure smile also adds a sparkle to your face.  You are not trying to put on a mask, which many of us feel we need to in our early stages, you are taking a very nice face and making it show our inner person who is softer and yet more color rich that we have shown in our lives.   

Ok I'll try all of these. But some advice you give sounds difficult.

I feel naked without mascara...

The only day my hair was in natural style like on the picture I didn't pass well. Perhaps it has nothing to do with hair. And it was preHRT. But each time I have a "fail" I try to identify the problem and avoid to reproduce it. Perhaps I'm doing total false...

Your conclusion is the main issue. I still don't accept my apparence so I do add makeup until I see another person.

[TexasLibraryLady]

You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to adjust something every time you get clocked. I can go a month without getting clocked and suddenly boom it happens. What ever the reason it probably won't be the same as the next time. 100% if the first pic was your Facebook profile pic and not posted her, I'd never think that you were a trans woman.

[Clara84]

44 minutes ago, tracy_j said:

In my opinion the first picture is best for everyday. Where I live very few women wear more than a touch of makeup during the day. The first picture is a more natural look, which is more usual. Here you would totally stand out as in the second pic, except perhaps in the city centre.

Almost no women here would wear such heavy use of mascara other than to a night club / evening out. It is similar with the glittery eyshadow as well. The recommendations I have found over the years are for just the upper lashes in the daytime, using brown other than black in moderation (if at all). Eyshadow being more sudued.

My approach these days for daily wear is for some foundation (as it includes sunscreen and evens things out). Eyebrow colour (my brows are trimmed short and fairly colourless), a touch of mascara on upper lashes only and a fairly non obvious lipstick (pink or subdued red). I do attempt to cover any shadow above my upper lip. I am somewhat older so I try to keep things low key (although I am sometimes a bit outgoing so totally get it wrong ). Depending on your location things may be Ok but one thing to notice is what are other women of your age where you are wearing?

Tracy

Other woman of my age.. on daily basis I would say

50% nothing

25% light makeup

20% average (like on my 2nd picture above)

5% heavy makeup (like on some of my other pictures)

[Clara84]

27 minutes ago, TexasLibraryLady said:

You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to adjust something every time you get clocked. I can go a month without getting clocked and suddenly boom it happens. What ever the reason it probably won't be the same as the next time. 100% if the first pic was your Facebook profile pic and not posted her, I'd never think that you were a trans woman.

Last time was 2,5 weeks ago for me. And Yes I drive myself crazy, you're right.

[VickySGV]

2 hours ago, Clara84 said:

I feel naked without mascara...

OK, I know the feeling, but possibly use a brown or chocolate brown, and a little less of the length and weight.  If something draws attention to you on one detail, others will be seen and that is where it goes downhill.

2 hours ago, Clara84 said:

The only day my hair was in natural style like on the picture I didn't pass well. Perhaps it has nothing to do with hair.

That would be my guess, because it was not the hair that I would say was calling attention to you.  My hair has gotten finer on HRT, and one of the items I was warned about was over-washing my hair.  Today I wash my hair only about once a week, but on two other days I rinse it and use a creme conditioner that I rinse out after a few minutes, let dry without combing, but when it is dry, I use a spray leave in conditioner / detangler and it does look more full.  I let mine just hang most of the time after that,

 

[Guest ZombieDracula]

I, personally, wouldn't give you a second look wondering if you were also trans if I saw you in either picture. 

I'm also AFAB and have no idea what my actual gender is, but for makeup - I agree with sparkly eyeshadow for night time events like clubbing and such. On the (extremely) rare occasion that I wear makeup, I like the eyeshadow that has a base, lid, and brow colors (all being different but matching).

Also, you look good in both.  

- ZD

[Clara84]

Sorry for the multi post..

There also are some makeup I put  on just because I LOVE it. I love glitter. I love pink colors. So it's for pleasure too.

I notice all of you are saying I do pass on the first picture?!?!.  It's one of the worst picture I have! No makeup, tired eyes because it was just after waking up.

It begins with my wife who said she didn't see the boy anymore. I posted this picture FOR FUN on reddit and asked people to gender me. Nobody said male. Some said "hard to tell/androgynous " and all the others said female. I didn't trust that it sound impossible. Then I posted here.. same results. 

I do notice some changes on my face but for me I definitely look 100% male. I must admit it can be false...

How is it possible? I am only 5,5 weeks on HRT. 

In other terms, you mean it begins to be difficult to pass as male?  That sounds too good to be true.

but I need to do a kind of transition in my head to adapt my feelings and my confidence to this new wonderful reality. In my mind it still sounds "Clara, you're a trans girl, yo do have an ugly male face, put a lot of make-up to correct that fact or you will never pass" I will follow your services, thank you everybody. But it would take days/weeks to have some confidence with a more natural look.

Tonight I was out with very light make-up (even less than on the 2nd picture above). I was at a school's party where almost 50% of the people know I am a trans woman. So I can't tell if I "passed". But I didn't feel good at all, no confidence at all about my look. And everybody knows that if we are not confident or afraid about not passing, people would notice and we won't pass, even with the best look.

The only "test" I've done was when I used the bathroom, there were some old ladies who certainty didn't know me in the bathroom, they didn't have any reaction just said me "good evening" so it seemed to be OK but in my head it's not.

Other question.. I have a very masculine body shape (no hips, tiny (fake) breast, and enormous belly - I am now 200lbs for 5'6") so I also think it would be better if all the attention goes to my FACE and not to my body, wouldn't it?

[VickySGV]

I guess its time for me to post a recent picture here and maybe you will feel better about yourself.     This is one in my gallery where if a girl's figure is not the best, nothing is going to be.  The date on the picture itself is wrong by a few years, it was actually taken on Jan 21, 2013.  Six days after a significant piece of surgery, 

 

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I mean, just my opinion, but I like the top picture, but if you like wearing makeup and it's something you enjoy doing because you want to, by all means wear makeup. Your light makeup would be my regular every day makeup, but we each have our own preferences for what we like and what we want to wear.

[MarcieMarie12]

It does take some time to figure out what works, what you need, and what you don't need. I drop eyeliner, and keep mascara in my everyday look. For eyeshadow I usually go for a mid tone.

The biggest thing I do is what makes me comfortable. Tomorrow I am going to have a little fun with my eye shadow pallate for going to a party with some friends. I don't usually mess with contouring because I don;t think it does much for me.

[Clara84]

Hello everybody

Thank you for all your feedbacks. It's very nice to help me.

You're all right, going to the supermarket with heavy evening make-up looks too gaudy, but I had to do this to have some confidence.

Now, I realize that I can look female also with more natural look. Today I just put some foundation (no foundation isn't an option because of the beard shadow), little powder, very light blush. For the eyes I use light eye-shadow and less mascara than usually. Lips, only volumizer (no color). Basically a daily basis makeup like others woman who likes to make-up, but not too much.

No specific hairstyle, just natural like on the pic above.

I wear a basic black top and an above the knee skirt. Just casual look.

It seemed to pass well. People gendered me correctly without any doubt. Even an unknown middle aged woman told me "madam, you're very beautiful, I like seeing beautiful women like you" it was very nice and it makes me feel more confident.

[VickySGV]

[ChickenLittle]

Clara, you look lovely in all the pictures you've posted! I've got the opposite worries about my body than you do, I'm all hips and don't like it one bit, but I've been trying to remember that lots of cis men have somewhat wide hips like me and some cis women have quite narrow hips! We all work so hard to fit into an idealized body shape, but if you stop to think about it very few cis people even fit those ideal standards completely. I hope that with time you can see the same you that we all see and feel more confident more often.  

[Clara84]

1 hour ago, ChickenLittle said:

Clara, you look lovely in all the pictures you've posted! I've got the opposite worries about my body than you do, I'm all hips and don't like it one bit, but I've been trying to remember that lots of cis men have somewhat wide hips like me and some cis women have quite narrow hips! We all work so hard to fit into an idealized body shape, but if you stop to think about it very few cis people even fit those ideal standards completely. I hope that with time you can see the same you that we all see and feel more confident more often.  

Yes,Mother nature hadn't been nice with us. You're FTM and you've wide hips like I as MTF dream to have

I hope to feel more confident soon. This topic already helped me a lot, and my today's experience added a bit of confidence. But it's still not perfect. And I know the next time I would be clocked (I know it will happen), it will go back to zero. 

[Cindy Truheart]

Clara, you are a beautiful woman! I know it's hard to see, I've been on HRT for eight months and only last night was I finally able to look in the mirror and not see a man. I still don't think I look female unless I put on a ton of makeup, but I've been gendered as a woman without makeup AND 5 o'clock shadow! I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, you blend in perfectly even without makeup! But if you are worried about it, try these two videos. It's all about what works best on YOUR face, because everyone's face is different. It's not about going heavy, it's about accenting the right things. I think you are beautiful the way you are, but if you nail the makeup you will look absolutely stunning!

 

 

[Clara84]

12 hours ago, Cindy Truheart said:

Clara, you are a beautiful woman! I know it's hard to see, I've been on HRT for eight months and only last night was I finally able to look in the mirror and not see a man. I still don't think I look female unless I put on a ton of makeup, but I've been gendered as a woman without makeup AND 5 o'clock shadow! I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, you blend in perfectly even without makeup! But if you are worried about it, try these two videos. It's all about what works best on YOUR face, because everyone's face is different. It's not about going heavy, it's about accenting the right things. I think you are beautiful the way you are, but if you nail the makeup you will look absolutely stunning!

 

Hi Cindy.

What you wrote is exactly how I feel, same as you. Most people do see a woman but I still see a man.

And doing heavy makeup is a way for us to avoid accepting our real appearance.

I switched to lighter makeup on Friday and it seems to pass well, but it's still hard to accept for me. I know it will be some days when I will feel too boyish and I will redo heavier makeup.

Yesterday I went to a party and some friends also noticed that my face has changed, even one who has seen me one week ago told me I really looked more feminine. That's nice but it's still very hard to believe.

Last night you saw a woman in the mirror, that's great. I think it's a big step. I hope I will see the same in a few time.

Acceptance of our real image is something which takes some time. But being gendered correctly without ant makeup should have boosted your confidence. That's sound great for you. You're doing well and I admire your courage.

I also have a big discrepancy about my age. I'm 32 but I don't accept that and since I began HRT I feel much younger. It must be the puberty effect. I will never be a teen again. I lived that teen period in the wrong gender and I regret it very deeply.

Therefore I sometimes do or want to do things like very young girls, like putting little bows in my hair, dressing all pink, glitter everywhere...

When I got clocked last thursday at the gas station. I was wearing a pink T-shirt with plenty of hearts. A fuschia belt. A pink bow in my hair and some flower pins. Pink glitter on my eyes a lot of foundation and blush. I loved that look, but now I understand it was too much.

I transformed the bedroom into a "princess room" ;-) I bought the curtains in the kids section and I am not ashamed of this.

Also when I do shopping I take a look at kids/young teen section and thought "if only I could wear this". Looking at those outfits that I couldn't wear because it was forbidden and now I can't wear because I'm too old. This makes me sad and even sometimes crying.

I love being very girly and I sometimes doing too much. Perhaps I should keep such things at home and be the 32yo woman outside.

Thank you for the tutorials I will try to improve my make-up. I also booked a makeup session with a specialist in a few days.

You've all more experience than me and I must learn from my errors too. 

[tracy_j]

In my opinion things take time. It takes time to become confident in who you are. Having lived many years in a male role things will not seem natural for some time being female and knowing it.

I was thinking yesterday about an incident the other day in which a pair of younger women may or may not have been amused at me checking out clothes on the racks at a local supermarket. I don't know as it really just brushed over me. It is so long now since I have shopped for male clothing (the last time being a pair of shoes in a closing down sale  - and there the assistant did not think they were for me), that it would matter not whether I had adverse reaction as I would be less than confident with male clothing either. It is just natural to be in the female section!

Tracy

 

[Clara84]

54 minutes ago, tracy_j said:

In my opinion things take time. It takes time to become confident in who you are. Having lived many years in a male role things will not seem natural for some time being female and knowing it.

I was thinking yesterday about an incident the other day in which a pair of younger women may or may not have been amused at me checking out clothes on the racks at a local supermarket. I don't know as it really just brushed over me. It is so long now since I have shopped for male clothing (the last time being a pair of shoes in a closing down sale  - and there the assistant did not think they were for me), that it would matter not whether I had adverse reaction as I would be less than confident with male clothing either. It is just natural to be in the female section!

Tracy

 

You're right Tracy, I need time. I used to use makeup as "crutch" to improve confidence.

Being seen as female is our goal. But we also need to get used to.

Shopping in the female section is also natural for me; but I am still a little afraid when the sales woman talk to me. Last time, they had some problems with the computer and I couldn't pay for my clothes immediatly. The sales woman introduce the conversation with me during the waiting time. It was a long conversation; about 20 minutes of talking of where we lives, weather, etc... It was a little bit scary but a really good experience. I still do sometimes forget that : women like to talk with other women.

Being seen as female my other men is also something I needed to get used to. They do look at me like they look at all the girls. Some find me attractive and stop me to tell it to me. (some are really not shy to do that) This still sound strange to me.

If I compare to my previous life in the male role. shopping was a torture. I felt bad and "not at the right place" in the male section. (and also felt "banned" from the female section)  I was always seeking for the most basic, dark and sad piece of clothing they have. Cause I always wanted to hide me with clothes.

I also noticed the context do affect our passing.

Shopping in the female section => 100% pass (no one expect to see a man here)

Alone with kid(s) => 100% pass (directly identified as the mother)

With my wife and kids => I don't pass very well (two mothers isn't very common in my country, so people do more "checks")

In the morning => 100% pass (a man wouldn't crossdress and go out early in the morning)

In the evening => Less passing (some crossdressers go out in the evening)

10 years ago, I was working in a customer center, where 95% of the employees were women. I was often the only "male" present. There I got sometimes called "Madam" by some customers; those customers didn't looked at me, they were just used to say "Good Morning Madam" in that place because it was a woman's job. That was funny.

[Cindy Truheart]

8 hours ago, Clara84 said:

I also have a big discrepancy about my age. I'm 32 but I don't accept that and since I began HRT I feel much younger. It must be the puberty effect. I will never be a teen again. I lived that teen period in the wrong gender and I regret it very deeply.

Therefore I sometimes do or want to do things like very young girls, like putting little bows in my hair, dressing all pink, glitter everywhere...

When I got clocked last thursday at the gas station. I was wearing a pink T-shirt with plenty of hearts. A fuschia belt. A pink bow in my hair and some flower pins. Pink glitter on my eyes a lot of foundation and blush. I loved that look, but now I understand it was too much.

I transformed the bedroom into a "princess room" ;-) I bought the curtains in the kids section and I am not ashamed of this.

I think all of this go through what you describe to a certain degree. I'm 42 now and trust me, I cried and cried and cried for the time I've lost. I had been repressing and denying for over twenty years, when I woke up and the memories started coming back to me I finally had an explanation for what I am and why I've always felt different.

I have a fascination with the color pink that borders on obsession and I absolutely go crazy for sparkly things! It's okay, it's part of the process. Eventually you will learn to tone things down a bit, don't worry about it too much. You will slowly "age" mentally so that your mind and body catch up with each other. You will always lament the time you lost to a certain degree, but moving past that is the only way to live your life in the here and now. Oh, and I wanted a princess bedroom set as well, but my wife squashed it!

If you want to blend in, just tone it down a bit. Adult women get a pass on the girly stuff as long as they don't go overboard. But if you don't care to blend in, then do what you want to do and ignore everyone else! But mostly, in all things, enjoy the freedom of being yourself!

Love and Light!