Starting testosterone

[ChickenLittle]

I'm so excited I just have to share-- after months of frustration dealing with a trans health clinic in SF, I found a nurse practitioner in Oakland who specializes in trans health and met with him today. He was so kind and understanding. All I have to do now is a blood panel next week then I can start! I can't believe this is finally happening and that my appointment went so smoothly. No letter necessary or anything, he made sure I understood the risks and effects and let me make my own decision with no gatekeeping. If anybody has any advice/insights to share about the first few weeks or months on T I would really appreciate your input. Ahhhh!

[Guest ZombieDracula]

That's really awesome that it went so smoothly and fast. I am sure you've done your research and you know it's what you want, so I wish you good luck  

- ZD

[Dev]

1 hour ago, ChickenLittle said:

I found a nurse practitioner in Oakland who specializes in trans health

Hi ChickenLittle,

I'm going the other way, so unfortunately I don't have much to offer besides my congratulations on getting the process started.  I wonder if you'd be willing to send me a private message with the name of this practitioner.  We keep lists of those who specialize in trans care, and I'd like to call his office and see if he's willing to be listed.

Congrats again!

-Dev

[ChickenLittle]

16 hours ago, Dev said:

Hi ChickenLittle,

I'm going the other way, so unfortunately I don't have much to offer besides my congratulations on getting the process started.  I wonder if you'd be willing to send me a private message with the name of this practitioner.  We keep lists of those who specialize in trans care, and I'd like to call his office and see if he's willing to be listed.

Congrats again!

-Dev

Hi Dev, I just sent you a PM with his info

[JJ]

Hi Chicken Little

Though I started transition over 6 years ago the memories are still pretty vivid and between here and a large FTM Facebook group I've heard hundreds if not thousands of men discuss the changes they are going through. And one thing sticks out above everything else. No two of us are alike. T changes your endocrine system which is highly complex and individual. And genetics plays a very large part. One of my first changes was libido - and that is a very common experience early on that persists in many men. I can say I've learned to handle it but it is still a whole different world. Sometimes that reveals things about your orientation that were not clear before, sometimes there is no change but it is intensified.

Some of us have rapid early voice changes. Mine started dropping and I got hoarse within the first month. Other guys take years.

The same with beards. Some get a stubble within a few months and others take years. Men in my family don;t grow beards well and mine is still developing 6 years later.

Some experience bottom growth and sensitivity really early and for others it is so gradual they barely noticeable.

There are so many changes- the smell of your body, the amount you sweat, how strong your muscles are all change. And the hair on your body. How the fat is distributed. Some guys gain weight but I lost 200 lbs. For many it also means that the fat distribution makes your chest smaller- not go away by any means but smaller. Before a medical problem caused me to gain the weight I was once 36, 21,34. and no matter my weight always had a small waist and wide hips, Now I'm pretty much straight with my waist larger than my hips and my shoulders the widest part of my body. Working out was a factor in broadening my already broad shoulders and increasing muscle mass. T gives you the ability to do that but you have to do the work. Just as T can lower your voice but you have to change the cadence and tone to sound male. It will give you a more male body shape but you have to relearn how you move it in very different way.

Everything changes in a way. And yet T doesn't solve any problems and isn't a magic wand to make you masculine but a tool.

Conventional wisdom among guys who've been around awhile is not to expect anything much the first year. And to take it as a journey to be enjoyed instead of a destination. Fretting and worrying or pushing for specific changes will only make you miserable. Work on what you can change while nature does it's thing and welcome changes as they come. The one unwelcome change for me was hair loss. Men in my mother's family never lost their hair. And I actually have a double hair growth pattern so my hair was very, very thick and fine. But my bio father was balding from what I have heard and we seem to be more prone than cis men. That thing about balding only being from the mother's family is a myth by the way. It happens gradually and while I would have said early on I couldn't stand it, living male is worth the price. I.m not bald yet but it is way, way different and I may get there.

I changed quickly and was accepted as male almost 100% of the time in about 10 months BUT I am intersex and past menopause. You sometimes hear the younger the better but once past puberty my observation from communicating with hundreds of FTMs is just the opposite. There is a balance between offsetting the estrogen in your body and keeping T at levels that don't convert to estrogen rather than masculinizing. that's why we need the more frequent tests when we start. It isn't gatekeeping though it feels like it.

Id also advise reading and studying and becoming an expert yourself on T. Because we are all actually guinea pigs with best guess by our Drs. And those guesses vary quite a bit. My Dr has attended special training and is specializing in LGBT patients but didn't know to warn me that thyroid can be affected so your dose may need to be cut by as much as 1/4. She also didn't know that ibuprofen is potassium sparing and I am on 1600 mg minimum a day because I have some health issues. It was fine for 20+ years till I started T which is also potassium sparing. Most Drs don't worry because by itself it isn't enough to be problematic but in combination with other potassium sparing drugs can be life threatening. When I informed my Dr she checked and verified both the thyroid and potassium situation and we monitor it now.

Lastly I thought the euphoria and feeling of well being was psychosomatic. And told myself it wouldn't happen to me. It was actually like someone turned on a light and the lifelong chemical imbalance depression lifter very early on. My Dr says that she thinks it;s because our brains are wired for one hormone and don't get enough while flooded with the wrong one. Some of us are more sensitive to that than others. For me it was as if I had a whole new life . I understood at last why people actually wanted to live instead of just enduring being alive. Not everyone experiences that. It also put my Lupus and Fibro about 90% into remission. I wasn't expecting that at all but studies have confirmed that can happen I discovered when I looked it up.. Not for everyone unfortunately. There is a large study on it underway I believe.

Congratz on getting your T soon! You are starting an exhilarating, challenging journey. Just remember it IS a journey and what happens now -or doesn't- will change as you go along. It s slow but that is a blessing in disguise be we need time to adjust as do those who share our lives. Enjoy it.

Johnny

 

 

[ChickenLittle]

I just wanted to post a quick update--

I'm on day 4 and feeling so much better than I would have ever imagined. I've already noticed some changes: my arms have more muscle definition, my shirts fit differently in the shoulder area, and I'm losing some hair. I thought I would freak out about hair loss but honestly it doesn't bother me. I'm on finasteride, so that may keep some of the hair loss at bay, but I'm looking forward to having a more masculine-looking hairline. I feel happier in my body than I have since I was a child. It really does feel like a light switch flipped. 

I've come out to my mom and my brother, both of whom have been great. My mom is struggling a bit but my brother and I have been joking together about T and butt hair and working out and he's been fantastic. My partner is excited for me and excited about the physical changes that have started. I feel so lucky. 

Thanks everybody for being here to listen and share your stories and thanks Johnny for taking the time to write so much. I wonder how long this euphoria lasts?  

[JJ]

Glad to hear everything is going so well.

Most changes go very slowly and sometimes seem to take forever so it is lucky you are seeing very rapid changes. Conventional wisdom is that it takes a year to see major changes so don't get discouraged if things slow down.

I didn't start losing hair except for a little receding hairline till the third year. It's what I hate most about about transition to be honest but even so worth it a hundred times over. My beard is still thickening after 6 years and 4 months.

And that euphoria? My Dr says its caused by the brain finally getting the hormone it was designed for, and while there have been some down days and challenges the underlying feeling of finally being right at the core has never lessened and a day still seldom passes without being deeply thankful.

But it is a roller coaster ride and there will be ups and downs. Just hold on and enjoy the ride. Sometimes it gets frustrating and sometimes you can get very tired of all things trans but it passes and there are fantastic highs when you start being seen and accepted as your real self.

II'm glad your family is so accepting. That makes it so much easier. Congratz!

And you are more than welcome. There were people helping me on my journey and I know what a difference they made.

Ll the best

Johnny