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Guest Edu

Need advice for a friend (cutting)

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Guest Edu

It happened on a whatsapp group with some trans* friends. One of them (about 20 yo, not sure exactly) asked for advise to stop bleeding from cuts. We obviously provided first aid tips, but we are also concerned. Talking a bit further, it's not the first time he's done this. I don't know much about this guy; we have met in person just twice. All I know is that he came out recently (around May) to his family, they seem to be supporting although rather new to trans* concerns, and he's having some long-distance relationship with another trans guy about 600km (that's about 370mi) away.

My first idea was to suggest him to join the forums and/or chat here, but he said he isn't good at English (reminder: for most Spanish people, English isn't a native language). Also, he doesn't want his parents to know anything about this (I won't say I agree with that, but I can't force him to talk to them), which limits a lot his options. Seeking a therapist isn't very viable right now: on the public sector there are too many psychologists and psychiatrists that care only about applying some "instruction manual" to each patient and never ponder the fact that those patients are actually persons; so there is an awful chance the problem would only get worse; and he doesn't have the resources to go through the private sector.

He's a nice guy, and he has a life full of potential ahead of him. I can't just stand and watch (or read through whatsapp) while he harms himself. So I'm coming here for advice and suggestions because I can't think of anything else I could do right now.

Hugs,
Edu

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Carolyn Marie

Edu, it's great that you're trying to help your friend, and I know how difficult it can be.  It wasn't clear in your post if this trans man is in Spain or where he lives.  But I found some resources that might help you and him.  The first is a link to a PDF with a bunch of other links on it, for Spanish speakers.

http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrTcctyamFZWPgAbaAPxQt.;_ylu=X3oDMTByb2lvbXVuBGNvbG8DZ3ExBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDBHNlYwNzcg--/RV=2/RE=1499585267/RO=10/RU=http%3a%2f%2farchitect.lgbtcampus.org%2fwebsite_development%2flatino-chicano-spanish-speaking-resources%2fdownload/RK=1/RS=RT_5sCAGOkscjvidLLEI5D5BthY-

Here's another, but these resources may be U.S. based:

https://kctransguide.org/es/tag/spanish-speaking-staff/

This is the web site for self-harm hotlines in Spain, of which there appears to be only one:

http://www.telefonodelaesperanza.org/

If I come across anything else I'll post it.  Good luck to you and your friend, hon.

Carolyn Marie

 

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Guest Edu

Thanks Carolyn Marie.

He is indeed in Spain. He is actually somewhat close to Barcelona (maybe about 30km, can't remember exactly which town), although just too far away to be quite a challenge to cover the distance in public transportation (neither he nor me drive).

I'll talk to him about the hotline; let's hope it helps. The other resources are quite US-centric, but thanks anyway.

Hugs,
Edu

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Guest Edu

Thanks, but I know about Casal Lambda and they only care about the "T" in "LGBT" when the times comes to ask for subventions and grants (just like most LGBT entities around here... and they still wonder why do we have trans-specific entities and spaces).

Also, yesterday I confirmed that he's just 17 (so can't do much without his parents knowing). And he can't go often to Barcelona (he lives in a nearby town, but not in the city itself): he obviously can't drive and doesn't have any good public transport combination.

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