Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

It all seems a blur now.


JodyAnn

Recommended Posts

Tonight as I sit here at my post, I ruminate about my nearly two years post op. The details so clear then are getting fuzzy these days. If you do not mind, let us take a trip together down my memory lane. I will save the preface story for another time. Hurry, let's get on the plane, I don't want to miss my flight!

SItting on the SkyHarbor runway mid morning on August 6,2015 I had one claim check, one carry on, my purse, in my left cup my passport, my right cup my IDs and bank cards. Around my neck the flash drive for the paper trail of the $9000 USD in hundreds, stuffed neatly in my panties where my new prize will be. So long fella, you get a one way trip!

A short hop to San Francisco and the long ride to Bangkok. So many hours and the in the morning another lay over in Tokyo. Changing from United to All Nippon Air I landed in BKK on the 7th just before midnight. I met my driver, whisked me to the hotel and he would fetch me in the morning at 8:00. I was up like a bullet, continental breakfast and off to the hospital. The day was an ordeal going here and there, poking and prodding and their own psych eval to prove I was crazy enough to do this to.

Dropped back at the hotel with Sunday off I did not explore too far. Monday Aug 10 at the hospital by 9:00 with a noon table date. It got pushed back until two.

As I was wheeled to the op room I was humming and replaying in my head the ending to TransAmerica. The anestisia felt like lit gasoline, but only for 6.5 seconds. I came back to earth about five, with a basketball stuffed between my legs. Back in my room in bed with my tall chrome boyfriend standing there holding gadgets and wire and hoses. I just had to know if the offending part was gone. I reached under the blanket, the dressing and... SON OF A...THAT HURTS!!! Yup not there. Wow, no shortage of blood though. Nothing more morphine wouldn't fix.

I was zonked for the night, sleep was not very comfortable. I was up early with a new problem. I made myself a lifelong promise I would never use a bedpan. My nurses and I had a vigerous discussion. They conceeded and fixed my date up for travel. Just a small trek and back across the room and a very new painful  experience. No I didn't, it was my packing signalling the need. It was my first and worst time up. More sleep please. Late that day my boyfriend and I were sneaking around the hallways. "No, no Madame Jody, you should be in bed!" " I must walk." Off to my room a few times, each time I escaped farther. I soon snuck out the elevator for a coffee shop espresso and outside for a smoke that hit me like a freight train. I feared I would not make it up to my room. I really slept that night.

An endless cycle the rest of the week, sleep, up "More morphine please." Another nap and energized again. Secret Agent Girl sliding out for coffee and cigs. The more active I was the better Miss Thang felt too. By Friday I owned the place! They took the packing out earlier, now the catheter. If I could pee on my own I could go home to my hotel. Peed like a champ but will this darn bloody period ever end?

Well kids, this is the first installment of the three part saga. My finger is tapped out for now.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You are an amazing person dear.  I love your description but seriously doubt i'd be as "naughty".  Being a Secret Agent girl isn't me when i'm hurting.

Thank you for sharing your experiences here.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

James Bond on entry and Jane Bond to make your escape :D

Tracy

 

Link to comment
12 hours ago, tracy_j said:

James Bond on entry and Jane Bond to make your escape :D

Tracy

 

Thank you Dear, never thought of that!

Link to comment

Now let's see where was I? Oh yes, getting out of the hospital. My first hotel, The Minde, was really nice like a mini appartment but $44 dollars a day. I asked my driver if I could economize? The suggested Nontra de Comfort at $36 a night. Yes, that is my price! On the way we stopped at a Bangkok equivent of a Walmart and then a grocery and shopping suits across from my new hotel for my provisions. Also to note my driver didn't take me here and there, only medical appointments, airport and such. Shopping with me was a kindness.

OH MY LORD! This was perfect home. It was old and clean, very funky (like me) and tucked back in alley 58 off of Sakumvit 55. I checked into the desk and then off to my room on the third floor. The morphine ended forever when I walked out the hospital door so my new little sister was really smarting. A shower, some TV, in my bed. I think I was out like a light.

I was up early on Saturday, down stairs to the desk to say Good Morning and eat continental breakfast in the adjoining room, a tiny patio too. It was like a village coffee shop any hour of the day or night. Lots of fun conversations with patrons traveling all over the world. The second floor had a people area too, with sofas and computers on the internet.

I ventured out down the alley to the street. It was a wonderment. Each flat was three stories high and marvelous! I sauntered down the street a block to SevenEleven for cigs and an adventure. As I sashayed back I was loosing energy fast, healing little nipper was a full time job. Back to bed. Up and down all day and night. Out for a smoke, a cup of ginger, a mini alley adventure and back to bed. Snapper was healing incrimentally better, but still quite swollen and the blood seapage was slowing a little too. I could switch from overnights to maxi flow pads. Sunday was far less adventuresome many shops closed. I needed rest anyway. One large double flat was a barbershop that also did tatoos. Down the alley across from the hotel was a flat that a man would sit out side about 10pm til the wee hours and lots of people came by. This alley is really weird. Cool but weird.

On Monday I had my first doctor appointment, all ok and let's learn how to dilate.OMG it felt like I was being impailed with a freight train! Hey Mister! This was NOT in the travel brochure! I have to do this the rest of my life???(Today it is fun and quite pleasurable.)

What a day, what an order! I need an AA meeting! I had found it long before on the web, back in the states. Let me take a little break here, be right back.

Link to comment

Hmm... the second part on the second post got lost in the sauce. I believe I will skip part three. Sorry.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Nothing to be sorry about dear.  I love to read your stories when you write them.  I also find the need for meetings.  Somehow i find a calmness and acceptance there that is otherwise difficult to find.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Please keep writing, such a good story Jody Ann, the drive to be complete is relentless....

Hugs

Cynthia -

Link to comment

I wrote a big long page to finish part two, I thought I pressed submit. I guess I muffed it. Maybe I'll finish when the wind comes back in my sails. I like to write while I guard the construction site. It helps me forget my career is at minimum wage.

On a lighter note I checked the Salt River Intergroup city meeting list. I get off at 6:00 am. Exactly right across the street is a 6:15 am AA meeting. I went and had the best time! What a Godshot!!!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 167 Guests (See full list)

    • Willow
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Adrianna Danielle
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...