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Marti


Marti

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 I am getting closer to coming out and I'm frightened. I live in a rural area and I've always had to keep my secret life secret. My ex wife knows as do two of my adult daughters. My oldest daughter does not know nor do my two underage sons. How can I tell them that I need to feel feminine? I am not gay I just have a girlie side. Please help.

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  Marti I don't have any answers for you as I am in the same situation My 2 oldest know about me but live 2 1/2 hours away in the city but i am struggling with how and when to tell my 4 youngest about me I want to tell them but am terrified that they might reject me sorry I can't help but know you are not alone  Hugs

 

   bobbisue:)

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  • Admin

Marti, coming out is almost never easy, and one of the things that makes it hard is that there is no one right way to do it.  What matters is that, whichever method you use, you are comfortable with it.

What worked for me is face to face discussions, with everything laid on the table.  I preferred doing it in chronological order, with describing my first realizations as a child about being different.  Tell a complete story, be honest, accept questions, and if you get rejection or anger or confusion or any other reaction, try not to get defensive, understand where you listener is coming from, and put yourself in their place.  The initial reaction is rarely the one that will last.

There are many online resources out there.  Just put "how to come out as transgender" in your search engine, and you'll have a great list to start from.  And of course, keep asking questions here.  We have a search engine, too on this site.

My coming out ended well, and my family is doing fine.  I hope that your results will be just as good.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Coming out to my family was one of the hardest things i ever did.  It took me a long time and that was OK.  Putting a time line on things or rushing can lead to incidents we might have avoided.  

I might ask how did you tell the folks in your family who know?  If that worked for you perhaps it might work again.  You know your family and situation better than anyone.  I found that seeing a gender therapist helped me to be able to explain to my loved ones as well as to gain the strength to continue.  

We are all different , with different needs and paths.  I'm glad i finally found a path to self acceptance and that my family, while not having what they might want, does accept what they have.  You will find a path as well. 

We'll help as we can.  "Got your back"

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Thank you everyone for the support. It helps me a lot just knowing that I am not alone. I did tell my baby sister last night. She was very understanding. While I will never be able to pass as a woman I would still like to dress like a woman. As things stand I can only do it at home with my door locked. I'm so happy to know that someone knows what I'm going through. Thanks again.           Hugs everyone.

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