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Nervous about coming out to friends


ChickenLittle

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Hi all, 

I've been so anxious about coming out to my friends. I felt confident that my family would handle it well, but it hasn't gone as smoothly as I'd hoped. My mom, while she has been doing her best to be supportive, is having a harder time adjusting than I expected her to. Our interactions now just feel so... awkward. Like she's tiptoeing around everything. It feels like she's not even trying to use the right pronouns, even when everybody in the room knows and is accepting. My brother, on the other hand, surprised me by taking everything in stride. He and I even joke about testosterone and it's been really great. But my mom's difficulty has made me feel a lot more anxious about being honest with my friends. I've been afraid that once they know things will get awkward. 

But today, I took a leap and came out via text message to a friend I don't see very often who has always struck me as fairly gender nonconforming. Immediately after, she called to congratulate me on starting hormones and told me that she's also trans and in the process of switching to she/her pronouns! I'm just giddy to know that I have a friend nearby who gets it. My partner and I are meeting up with her and her partner for dinner this week and I'm so excited!

Every time this goes well, I feel a little bit less scared about telling the next person. 

 

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It is very scary, I know. I've done it. It doesn't always go as expected. I came out to my then best friend who I thought would accept it well, and he just won't accept me. On the other hand, a very religious sister who I feared would reject me turned out to be very accepting.

 

I've learned to cherish the ones that accept me. The others, I just have to let them be. I can't change them. 

And you're right. The more people accept you, the braver you get!

Good luck with your friends, and patience with your mom. It often takes time for parents to adjust and accept.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

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Each step for me was difficult.  Some folks came closer while i'm estranged from some.  It took a period of adjustment and acceptance.  It simply, as Kermit the frog said "isn't easy being green".  It is worth it.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Five more down today! I've heard back from three so far and they've all been really sweet. One said, "I was wondering when you would bring that up!" Woohoo!

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Great news!  I found that i got more acceptance than i ever thought possible.  Fear was my biggest difficulty.  Reality was much kinder.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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