When and how to come out at school-- advice?

[ChickenLittle]

Hi all, 

 

This week I started a program at school in which I will remain with the same group of students in all my classes for the next two years or so. I started hormones about three months ago and no matter how hard I try, I haven't been gendered correctly even once since I started. My voice still sounds super feminine-- I can't wait until my voice drops! While being misgendered is frustrating, I know that it will get better with time. My main concern now is: do I correct my classmates when they use the wrong pronouns? I don't want to have to go through the trouble of coming out to them later, after I've finally built up the courage to be out to my family and friends now. How do I go about correcting them, especially when they refer to me as she/her in conversation and the conversation quickly moves on (or if it's in a classroom discussion?). I'm stuck between not wanting to draw attention to myself and not wanting to be misgendered. 

 

Honestly, I would probably just let it go if not for the fact that I'll need letters or recommendation from my professors, so they will need to know and use the right pronouns, as I'll be applying to grad schools with he/him pronouns. Has anybody successfully navigated a similar situation or do you have any advice? I'm at a loss and it's stressing me out. 

[MarcieMarie12]

From a work place perspective I started with the head of my department because I thought he would be the most receptive (he was). Anyway, you might want to discuss this with your guidance councilor (if you have one), or one of your professors.  Remember they are there to help you learn.

 

 

[Dev]

These people you'll be spending a lot of time with over the next two years... do you have their email addresses by now?  If so, it might be worth sending a short group email politely introducing yourself by your preferred name, explaining that you know you might sound female but you're not, and thanking them in advance for watching which pronouns they use when discussing you with others.  The nicer and more sincere you are, the more motivated they'll be to get it right.

[ChickenLittle]

On 9/22/2017 at 7:01 AM, MarcieMarie12 said:

From a work place perspective I started with the head of my department because I thought he would be the most receptive (he was). Anyway, you might want to discuss this with your guidance councilor (if you have one), or one of your professors.  Remember they are there to help you learn.

 

 

My university organizes things in a ridiculous way, so I don't have one counselor/advisor for everything and I won't get much help there. I think my best bet is contacting each professor personally and having a conversation with them about things. I just hope they're receptive, I feel like I'll just be bothering them or wasting their time. Bleh. 

[ChickenLittle]

19 hours ago, Dev said:

These people you'll be spending a lot of time with over the next two years... do you have their email addresses by now?  If so, it might be worth sending a short group email politely introducing yourself by your preferred name, explaining that you know you might sound female but you're not, and thanking them in advance for watching which pronouns they use when discussing you with others.  The nicer and more sincere you are, the more motivated they'll be to get it right.

Thankfully, I legally changed my name to a gender-neutral name years before I realized that I'm trans (I knew I hated my birth name and strongly preferred something neutral but didn't think anything of it at the time, ha!) so my name isn't an issue. I don't have a list of email addresses, but if I did that would be a great idea. Maybe at some point I can figure out how to do that. I think there's at least a list of all the students in each class I'm in, which would include a majority of my cohort, plus some others.