In the past whenever I would start training again it would bring much the same reaction. It has also bothered her lately that I am focusing on my shape. She has a harder time losing weight than I do. We had a discussion the other day about it and she always feared that I would get to the point I didn't want her anymore because I was in better shape. Now with the physical changes I am going through it compounds things a bit. Take a moment and remind her how beautiful she is to you inside and out. Let her know you are doing this to make sure you are with her and healthy for a good long time. Let her know it isn't just about you and hopefully it will help!
I hope that you are right about her having a bad day. It would seem to me that she would be supporting that you are working to improve your health and lose weight. I suppose she might be having second thoughts about your transition, but that shouldn't be a reason to act the way she did. Do you think that getting her involved with exercising would help? Just my thought on the subject.
Just called the Fenway Health group. The man that runs the transgender part was not available but the call is in! I’ve talked to my pcp and have his full support, and I found out he has a ftm patient and is comfortable with me as well. I really like my therapist, but my insurance won’t cover out of network charges so I probably won’t be there for long. But maybe I can find someone in network through them with more experience anyways. It’ll stink going into Boston but it’ll be worth it!
I started my diet this week, lots of vegi's and salad, just enough protein, and not very calorie restricted... Works for me as I do not like feeling hungry. I did find a good exercise machine for me in the workout room at our apartment, and my daughter likes to join me when I go, I enjoy the company and like that she is willing to keep herself fit. I spent 30 minutes on the cycle machine, got really sweaty and kept a steady rhythm and moderate heart beat, I am quite pleased with myself. The unexpected downside is my wife, I have noticed this in the past as well, but this time she is very visible upset with my new activity. Whenever I have gone on a diet or lost weight she does not like it, and since I rarely hung in and stayed on the diet or lost much weight it was never any big deal, but this time things got weird. She was just downright mean to me all night last night, so much so that I told her she was hurting my feelings and asked several times why she was being so mean to me... She said a few slightly hurtful things, but nothing horrible, just super critical and rather mean spirited. We got through the night and our day is looking fine now, hopefully I wont experience a repeat of last night, I am rather perplexed by this attitude though. I think she would much rather I look like Dan Connor than Jessica Rabbit (as if I ever could). I am wondering if her feelings are involved somehow, but she isn't telling me much and it worries me. Maybe now that she knows I am transitioning this is more than she can currently absorb and she is being passive aggressive about it, I find it all really confusing. Or I suppose maybe she just had a really terrible day at work and I am making a mountain out of a mole hill, that could certainly also be true...
I am so sorry your feeling bummed out... I can sympathize, sometimes I just don't feel like doing anything at all, just curl up in a hamster ball and take a nap. I have had doubts over the years, do I really feel this way? Is this what I want? But I finally decided the 41 years of feeling like this is not a "phase". We are all here for you, let us know how we can help and listen, I am sending you a hug right now ((())) . I found that poetry was something I really enjoyed, I see you love writing, I would love to read a poem from you if you wrote one!