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MaryMary

Leave me alone (I plead)

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MaryMary

For the past, my old friend and ennemy

I'm the last and i'm depression and i'm suicide and i'm a he

If mentally ill is their cast for me, they must be pouring an alloy of melancholy

 

For the future, this cruel person I know barely

I'm a sex toy made to enjoy, never soul, never see

What being in love with this object could be

 

Oh present, you're the gift I sought this moment

You're the blessing I gave myself the instant

Where, amazed, I bought the courage of authenticity

Lost in the hate, like in the maze of my empty city

With the treasure of a complete void of self pity

 

Never, will I return to the landscape

Where the past is a concept that escape

The truth of happyness I seek to hold

And where the future is a cape

That I fix around my present with a tape

Never to see, blind, to those gaoler I told :

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MaryEllen

Wow! Awesome.

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Jennifer T

Love the imagery. Nicely done!

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jae bear

Stunning words! I wish I had talent like you, very jealous!

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    • Cyndee
      I agree with Tori M, and I enjoy reading as well, one book I really enjoyed early in my transition was "She's not there" by Jennifer Boylan. The one story in the book about how this creep followed/stalked her after the gig (she was in a band), really hit home. I journaled my thoughts during the time period of reading this book in an old fashioned spiral bound note book, still have it.   I agree with SydneyBlue by staying busy, such as listening to or playing music is a great distraction from GD, do things, make things, apply yourself. Get your mind out of "Genderland". Consider this, non trans people don't dwell on these topics to the details we do, it can be very taxing. The faster you can get out of genderland the better, just living your life. Identify your own personal triggers, what initiates such thoughts, if Dysphoria rears it's ugly head, think how can you prevent this from happening again ?   Good luck, it's not easy, reminders can be anywhere..   Hugs   C
    • Sydneyblue
      I live in disphoria full time and can say doing constructive things you are good at. For example i try as hard as i can at my Job that makes me feel good. I also think feeling bad can be good because when you achieve your goal makes the victory worth it. 
    • DeeDee
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    • Cyndee
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      I love this 6 word idea!!!!
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