Hello from everywhere in America!

[Erika_E]

I would like to begin by saying thank you to everyone who has posted in here! I have been reading, and learning so much!  And it is a relief to know that there are so many with stories very close to mine. And such a relief that I am not the only older person to start the transition so late!

  I am 53 years old, currently an over the road truck driver. I knew from childhood that I really wasn't like other people. Being raised in a conservative, somewhat religious family, did not allow me to explore much in the area I seemed destined to go. I never fit in at school, though I certainly tried all the social guy groups! By the time I entered high school, I hadvresigned myself to no more dressing in womens clothes...no more feeling good. Time to be a responsible adult. Joined the Army. Started to do everything imaginable that was in any way manly. Years passed, got married, had kids, got divorced....(sound familiar?) In the middle of all that, I experimented sexually. The 80's and 90's passed, went into the 2000's and I still thought nothing could be done.  Right now, I can not pinpoint what made me search for an explanation, but that narrowed to my being a transgendered woman! 

  So, I now have my first therapist appointment this coming Tuesday, and if that goes well, I will truly be starting the transition!

  I am excited, nervous, and a whole range of other emotions about this new beginning! I know many of the trials and tribulations I will face, thanks to so many of you who have made this incredible journey before me. 

  It gives me a little thrill to use the name I have chosen..lol.

 Thank you again!

 Erika.

[Jani]

Hello Erika and welcome!   Congratulations on your upcoming therapist appointment.  I hope you find it as enlightening and invigorating as I did at my first meeting.  Using your own name is fun and I'm glad to hear it's an enjoyable experience for you.  As you note your personal timeline parallels that of many of us.  We have another OTR driver as a member too.  Please join in the conversation or start your own thread for whatever question you have or statement you want to make.

 

Cheers, Jani

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Erica,

 

Welcome to TransPulse. I remember the first time I was called Carla by someone, when I was actually known as Carla by someone. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. To this day it feels good to be Carla instead of that other name.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[MaryEllen]

Hello Erika,

 

Welcome to TransPulse. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

 

MaryEllen

[tracy_j]

Hi Erika

 

Welcome

 

Tracy x

 

[Charlize]

Welcome Erica.  Your story sounds so familiar.  Glad you are going to see a therapist.  Let us know how it goes.  

Simply finding others who understood what i was going through helped me on my path(and still does).

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Erika_E]

Thank you all for the warm welcome! I will update occasionally, while continuing to learn. 

Hugs!

[Erika_E]

  First therapy session today.  It is not just in my head, it is official. Text book dysphoria. Big relief!  A good day. Emotional, but good. Anyone care to share their stories?

 

[MarcieMarie12]

Well, I had a harder time comming out than accepting I was trans. I did find that coming out to my therapist  at the time was a huge relief. Coming out everyone else was an even greater relieff in the end. It is so nice when you have others you can talk about this  to!!! 

 

Welcome to Transpulse!! Hugs,

Marcie

[SunnyKay]

Good for you for taking the big step of seeing a therapist, it means you are taking control of your life...That's a big deal! Congratulations!

[Erika_E]

Got some very welcome news yesterday. The comany i drive for, is very much ok with having trans people on the payroll. And it looks like our insurance may cover the necessary steps!

I hear you, Marcie...it HAS been a relief to come out to select people.

Thank you, Sunny! That's kind of funny, really, as much of a control freak as I have been. I like to think it's more letting go of ....previous....mistake? Life? Hmm, not sure what to call it.

 

Erika.

[Dev]

Excellent news, Erika!  I've found that most trucking companies tend to be open-minded, but insurance coverage is a rarity.  

[Erika_E]

I wasn't sure what to expect. But, it made my day yesterday!

[Jani]

Good News.  Sometimes the stress we feel is unfounded. A supportive work environment is certainly welcome.  

 

Jani

[Erika_E]

A little update. I have told the woman I live with, [ we are no longer a couple]. She is extremely supportive and helpful, and I am thankful for her! I have told 3 of the 5 kids, and a good friend, and am now out at work. Haven't gotten rejected by anyone yet, but I know it's coming.

  Another session with the life coach. She says I REALLY have to work on my anger issues before beginning hrt. Lol..she says I could turn into a flaming bitch. 

  All in all, things are going ok. Still reading and learning!

  Thank you all, ladies!

  Erika.

  

 

[Dev]

Something to discuss with your therapist and your doctor, Erika, is that hormone therapy may make you calmer.  I've noticed that tends to be the effect it has on a lot of folks when they start HRT.  Your mileage may vary, of course, which is why I suggest talking it over with the professionals.

[VickySGV]

I agree with Dev's thought here on the upside of HRT helping with anger issues in some of my IRL friends.  One of the first things that I found was that emotions actually broadened, and I was able to feel more nuance to the feeling.  Anger for instance spread out between mild annoyance and the hot end, and the frustration and other components could be rated on a scale of 1 to 50 as to intensity.  Life became a volume control instead of just an on-off switch.  I could rate a situation and was more in control without bursting seam early in the game.

[Erika_E]

Thank you, Dev, and Vicky! I will bring that up with her, and see what she says. Oh, yes, almost forgot. My cardiologist is actually going to write a letter, not endorsing hrt, but confirming my current health. 

 I do believe this is forward progress!

  Erika.