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Dealing with Him


bobbisue

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This is from a message I wrote to a dear friend that I felt would be worth sharing here

 

   I had an experience about a month ago that really put things in perspective in regards to having Him in my life. It was on a Sunday morning I was just relaxing Checking my forums when suddenly I realized He was gone not just faded into the background as he usually does but he was completely gone I have never felt so vunerable or scared I felt like a little lost girl I literally cried under my covers for over an hour I was so scared ,He eventually returned I realized I need Him He was there through the many beatings from the bullies He was there when I fought for my kids He is not my enemy  He is my protector I do not have  to fight him He is me and I am Him.like a true gentleman He fades into the background and lets me live, when I need Him He no longer takes over but rather He is beside me giving me the strength I need Will He ever be gone I dont know but I do know He will be there as I grow into the woman I was always meant to be

 

 

   bobbisue:)

   

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  • Forum Moderator

I know that dude.  He is within me as well and as years go by he becomes even more of a  gentleman.  After 63 years of his control and dominance i am glad to see him behave and take a back seat without constantly trying to run the show.  I certainly prefer him this way!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Very important observations, bobbiesue. The male-me has allowed me to travel to some dangerous locations to explore and he still gives me a sense of safety in the world. I'm sure I will need him as I move forward. He IS like a bodyguard. Why would we want to get rid of our bodyguard? I agree with Charlize too and can't wait for my guy to retreat to the background when I don't need him, so I can live in the comfy place I crave.

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Rupert Holmes...  Him, him him, what's she gonna do about him?  She's gonna have to do without him, or do without me...  Who knows the song I'm singing?  Haha.

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Thanks Bobbie, this is good.  I tried to cast aside my alter ego when I first embarked on my transition journey.  Soon I came to understand that this character was and always will be part of me.  Once I came to embrace this reality I was able to more easily grow into the person I now am.  

 

Jani

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An interesting view Bobbiesue, which I can understand. I remember a specific time when I was online and a man started to become sexually agressive. I got very scared for a couple of days until he suddenly registered. Then I totally understood the agressive male, and it wasn't scary any more. That's when it really registered how vulnerable women are. A totally different mindset!

 

Tracy

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This is part of the girl inside me...don't make momma penguin unhappy......:) I wonder if this is a matter of perspective from when we grew up. I find comfort in knowing there are strong women out there and it is ok to be one. 

 

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