Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

1st GT session today, how do you qualify a gender therapist as competent if not outstanding?


Lauryn Michelle

Recommended Posts

Extraction of the internal, see what comes out. I do have a sense of "ridiculousness" about seeing a GT, as if this couldn't be my reality, and I am going to laugh or frown at that time I saw a Gender therapist. There is this fear that I am a pretender that is just trying to avoid something, though if that is true and it could be revealed, well then good. What is to remember is that I am doing the best I can at learning, weighing doubts, and accepting myself no matter what lies ahead. I dont have anybody to talk to about this stuff(an old thought, if i talk about it, it becomes real, so i must not talk about it), so it is good this forum exists, and that I have a therapist now(hopefully a competent one). It gets emotional, and i dont understand why, i dont understand the elation, and the sadness.

Does anybody have ways of qualifying a potential Gender Therapist?

Link to comment

My criteria: One that helps you figure things out for yourself and not one that tells you what you are.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, they should mention Gender or Transgender in their list of services provided.  Marcie is spot on with her assessment.  Mine guided me on my journey.

 

Jani

Link to comment

Make sure you tell your therapist about these doubts and thoughts of being a "pretender". That's exactly what they are there for. To help you understand yourself, and those thoughts. I don't know what I would have done if it wasn't for my therapist.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

My therapist offered me a place where i could open up and explain feelings, actions, fears and eventually hopes without being judged.  From my experience the doubts you feel are not unusual.  I know i had them and despite years of being out as myself i still can get hit by doubts on occasion.  It's rare now but perhaps can be felt by many of us.  Finding a level of comfort was certainly helped by my therapist but as much as anything that was because i was as honest and open as possible for the first time in my life.  It was certainly emotional, filled with elation and sadness.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Admin
4 hours ago, Clara Bell said:

.There is this fear that I am a pretender that is just trying to avoid something, though if that is true and it could be revealed, well then good. What is to remember is that I am doing the best I can at learning, weighing doubts, and accepting myself no matter what lies ahead.

 

Wow, that sounds so much like what I went through, Clara Bell.  I, too, thought maybe I was just pretending, and my GT talked to me a lot about it.  Please do be honest with your therapist about how you feel, and they will help you work through it, if they are any good at all.

 

Your therapist should let you do most of the talking, hon.  Be sure they have some experience with trans issues, and have some resources at hand to help you if and when you need them, such as endos and trans-friendly service providers such as electrologist and surgeons.

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
16 hours ago, Charlize said:

My therapist offered me a place where i could open up and explain feelings, actions, fears and eventually hopes without being judged. 

I agree with Charlize. After a session or two with my new therapist I learned I could tell her ANYTHING without her giving me an odd look or reaction. She always expressed warmth and understanding while guiding me through my ramblings, and she reflected back when she noticed me responding emotionally to what I was telling her. Good or bad. (I tend to laugh when I'm happy!)

Clara Bell I can understand the confusing mix of emotions during your sessions. So much is coming out that's been buried deep for so long. Stuff we didn't even know existed. I truly hope you eventually have a positive experience and learn lots about yourself.

 

Hugs from the Midwest!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
52 minutes ago, Gwen said:
17 hours ago, Charlize said:

My therapist offered me a place where i could open up and explain feelings, actions, fears and eventually hopes without being judged. 

I agree with Charlize. After a session or two with my new therapist I learned I could tell her ANYTHING without her giving me an odd look or reaction. She always expressed warmth and understanding

 

Yes, this^.   I was so comfortable with my therapist I opened up with things I would have never told anyone.  This certainly helped me leave the past behind and move forward.

 

Jani

Link to comment

Feeling really supported by all of your responses, thank you so much. Its great to know that others relate, and that my feelings arent unusual. Its great that you all have come before me, and offer your help.

 

Its amazing that Carolyn identified with "the pretender" as well. Now i am starting to wonder if the pretender isnt me thinking i might be a different gender, rather the pretender may have been me believing and acting that I was male.

Gwen you are right about emotions surrounding what has been buried. I just felt like crying at one point today with my family, but i had to suck it in, or at least i couldnt show raw emotion out of the seemingly blue. Emotions are indicators, deciphering  whats indicated is difficult. To just get sad and cry, i am at a loss for that one, is it grief? Fear? Shame?

 

Unfortunate about my first therapy session, the therapist is a little hard of hearing. I confirmed with him on the phone that he specialized in Gender, then when i got there the first thing he said is that he isnt a gender therapist, haha! Nice guy though, had sound advice for my negative self talk, shame, and "shouldings". He was supportive, direct, and practical, but i dont know that he will suffice.... 

 

Thank you all

 

Clara Bell

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Ok, 3rd therapist is charm! The network from my insurance was wretched. I would walk away from therapy sessions feeling worse than before and not from growing pains.

 

I gave in, and am paying out of hand, but it is worth it! I already feel connected to and impressed by my therapist! She is amazing, and TG! Someone i know gets it! And a professional woman i can model after! Feeling so dam blessed right now! Next weeks session just cant come soon enough, and i will get to dress as me while with her ❤

 

I am coning out to more good friends who have been beyond what i could have imagined. They said they would take me to the city and hang out with me as "her". My heart is touched. One friend stepped up and offered support to be there for when i tell my brother after the holidays. I have learned that it is best to have another person there when telling another important person. It allows  support for the newly informed, gives a buffer-zone for processing, makes me not look like some crazy unstable person who "went off the reservation", because there is another sane person present that validates my experience. I see a map in my mind that connects to my heart. Next my brother, then once i have enough money for an "emergency move", i will tell my roomate whom is also my landlord. I think he will be ok with it, but just incase, i can move out fast and go be "ME". On and on this will go. I am full of hope :)

 

Thank you community!

 

Oh, found out "Clara Bell" is a fat cow from.Disney cartoons, haga! So name change in order! My friend likes "Lauryn Teagan" which happens to be a cothing line and my mithers initials. I was also thinking "Lauryn Michelle", it sounds more down to earth, and it mirrors my middle name "Michael".

 

Take care!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It's great to have supportive friends and family! I'm glad things are going well.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
4 hours ago, Clara Bell said:

I was also thinking "Lauryn Michelle", it sounds more down to earth, and it mirrors my middle name "Michael".

I like this.  If you think is sounds like you, then go for it!  

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That is great Lauryn.  I'm glad you found a person you could open up with.  That makes all the difference.  As to name....try it on and see how it feels.  Funny how in time mine has grown to be truly me.  At first i didn't respond to it when i heard it but now it's just me.  All this takes time.  That was something i hated before but now embrace as i find a path and direction towards peace with myself and the world i've learned to breath and look at the beauty of what's around now.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 114 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Miss Cormac
    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...