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Off to see my primary doctor


Charlize

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Years ago i went to see my doctor with a deep secret to share.  Amazingly i went as myself and when she saw me she knew we had a discussion coming.  I was fortunate that she was a supportive as she has been.  ( see the post below by Carolyn Marie )  I am off to see her today years later.  Oddly i'm still a bit nervous having had some surgery as well as the on going, cumulative effects of HRT.  I can remember the embarrassment of many visits to specialists elsewhere. Thankfully I won't find that today.  Hopefully everyone here will continue to search and find doctors with whom they are comfortable.  It may seem like a cliche but our lives depend on it.

Healthcare is a basic human right and we are certainly human.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/11/21/564817975/health-care-system-fails-many-transgender-americans

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I might qualify that last sentence.  I'm not human until I've had my caffeine in the mornings. :P

 

I'm blessed with a primary who offered to become qualified to handle HRT if I couldn't find other doctors in the area to take care of it for me.  When I told her about my gender dysphoria diagnosis, she didn't bat an eye.  Said she'd never had a trans patient before, but there's a first time for everything.  She's also a teaching PA, and I always consent to having her students in the room when I see her, so she goes out of her way to teach them about gender dysphoria and having respect for my pronouns and such.  She considers that basic respect part of the responsibility of health care providers and passes that feeling on to her students.

 

And to think, I ended up with her out of luck of the draw - I called the health system's referral line because I'd just moved back here and needed a practitioner, and she's who they gave me.  I couldn't be happier.

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When I told my primary care doctor he was all in.  He is about my age and originally from South America.  He admitted not knowing much about being transgender but has asked lots of questions and coordinates care with my endocrinologist at Fenway Health.  The whole staff at the practice has been great.

 

Jani

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It was a good visit and exam.  The staff are respectful and very helpful and i enjoy chatting with my doctor between all the poking and prodding.  When she examined my chest she exclaimed: "you've got boobies!" and seemed almost shocked.  I laughed and said that i finally like the look of my chest.  I guess even though she knows the effect of HRT seeing it after a few years was a bit unexpected for her.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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I'm glad things went so well for you, Charlize.  Many of us have been as fortunate, but too many have had bad experiences, too.

 

My PCP was also extremely supportive, and wanted to learn from me how best to care for a trans patient.  Too few doctors have even a basic familiarity with trans health care issues, which is why VickySGV, me and some other local trans folk train medical students at USC every year.

 

My doctor was apologetic that she had to code my condition under "Gender Identity Disorder."  She shook her head and said, "You and I both know that it isn't a 'disorder.' "  I was very impressed with that comment.  I knew I had someone special taking care of me.

 

Carolyn Marie

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I am also glad things go well Charlize.

 

Over here it is probably less of an issue, but chances are there is some discrimination. The only time something has shown with me was when I took my mother to visit her GP (I am with a different surgery) and her doctor asked me if I was undergoing gender re-alignment. This could have been embarrasing as I have not come out to my mother in any way. With her memory issues it would get complicated so I just present as I am and brush around the makeup etc. Luckily either she didn't hear or was otherwise unworried.

 

Tracy

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I chickened out telling my primary and my heart doctor that I am trans. I totally thought there was no way I would be able to avoid it. My heart doctor said bring a list of all my meds and everytime I have gone in he has given me an ekg. With the electrodes and everything. But not that time. And never asked for my meds. So I did not push it. And my primary just listened to my breathing from my back. Being almost a year and a half on hrt I am going to have to let them in on it eventually. 

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Nora I wouldn't be afraid to tell her about this.  It should be a non event for them unless you have some contraindication with a med you are taking.  Go ahead and take the plunge.   I actually wrote a brief coming out letter to my doctor with a little bit of history since I thought this was too much news to discuss during a regular check up appointment.  He called me a few days later to briefly talk.  For me it was a good choice doing it this way.  It's best to get all your doctors on the same page.  

 

Jani 

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    • Maddee
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Seems like a reasonable agreement.  Seattle stays out of Texas, Texas stays out of Seattle.  Weird that the Seattle hospital had a business license in Texas... 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Seems to me the time and cost is already being spent....on lawsuits.  And schools are absolutely flush with cash, at least around here.  They get enough property taxes, they need to learn appropriate use of funds.  Buy a few less computers and a few more bathrooms, and spend less time on athletics and I'd bet you a hamburger that the issue would be solved in a year.   To me, it seems like the whole bathroom thing is like lancing a boil or a cyst.  A sharp initial pain, and done. People are just resistant to doing it.      I think I could solve most of it...but politicians get too much press off of this to want it solved.   1.  Universal use of individual, gender-neutral, private bathrooms 2.  Universal use of individual, gender-neutral, private spaces for changing athletic clothes 3.  Emphasize co-ed rather than gendered sports.  Focus on physical activity, good sportsmanship, and having FUN.  Lifelong enjoyment, not just competition. 4.  Ban for-profit athletic programs at highschool and college levels, and ban betting/gambling related to athletic programs at educational institutions. 5.  Affirm parental rights consistently, rather than treating it like a salad bar.  That means permitting gender-affirming healthcare with parental consent, AND prohibiting schools keeping secrets from parents.  Adopt the "paperwork principle."  If it is on paper, parents 100% have a right to know about it and be informed on paper, including names/pronouns if such are documented.  If it is verbal only, it is informal enough to be overlooked or discussed verbally if needed.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.texastribune.org/2024/04/22/texas-trans-health-care-investigation-seattle/     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/transgender-louisianans-say-ve-lost-ally-governors-seat-rcna149082     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/2024-anti-trans-legislation/     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      It would work better, but the issue will always be time and cost, unless a school district is building a new school.  Districts everywhere are short on infrastructure funds, so it's not a realistic solution in most cases.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I have always thought that the solution to the bathroom question (as well as improved bathroom quality/privacy for everybody) would be individual, gender-neutral, locking bathrooms.  Not this wacky thing we insist on doing with stalls.  It wouldn't take much more space, really.  And it might actually work better.  Ever notice how there's often a line at the door of the women's room, but plenty of free space in the men's?  Yet the men's and women's bathrooms are usually of equal size/capacity? 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
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    • Betty K
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    • KayC
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    • KayC
      As a registered CA voter I would be HAPPY to vote against this bill ... BUT as @Carolyn Marie mentioned it has little chance to make the ballot.  Hopefully this will put the Death Knell on the bill.   wrt Parents Rights of notification.  I would agree if there was potential harm to a child, or if the child was involved in potentially harming somebody else.  BUT, that would not be the case in the preponderance of situations.  The decision to Come Out to one's own parents should be up to the individual child only.  If the child does not feel Secure or Safe in their household then it should not be up to the State or School to make that determination. If the child did feel safe and secure they would have probably already come out.  If they haven't ... then the situation seems obvious.  Protect the Child, not the System.
    • KayC
      Great news!  We ARE starting to receive more public support and visibility in opposition to these types of horrendous and wasteful bills.
    • KayC
      Nice to meet you @mattie22 , and Welcome! Your feelings are very normal.  I felt much the same at the beginning of my Journey.  But, in fact it is a 'journey' that is unique to each of our individual lives.  There is not a specific or pre-determined destination.  That's up to you to discover as you find your way. You already received some great Encouragement here.  I hope stay with us, and you will both discover and contribute.  Deeps breaths ... one step at a time
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