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Clara Bell

Physical pain

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Clara Bell

Does anybody else feel a slow burning furnace in their chest? One that intensifies at times? Or an occasional sharp jab in the heart? I have been crying at times as well

I am guessing this is stress and anxiety? I feel it most at work when i am not able to dress as I like. Once i get home drop the man i appear to be, put on my fem, then  feel relief. Actually get pretty good sleep once i feel comfortable in myself(makes sense). I never fell asleep so easily. 

I dont want to leave my room because i want to stay here as her and not feel the pain of appearing as him...

I know i need to live though, so yes, yoga here I come 😊

 

Things i am doing to help

 

Told my best friend(though that did intensify my feeling, i do get support from her)

 

Meditation

 

Breathing exercises when the pain becomes unbearable

 

Prayer

 

Being a part of this Forum

 

Seperate Email and youtube accounts as female

 

Therapist

 

Going to a support group on friday for the first time that is for transpeople all the way to gender questioning (I am nervous)

 

Researching the Transworld

 

Makeup, clothing, feminine posturing and walking

 

Panties under my work clothes, clear polish on my toes

 

Crying

 

Feeling the feelings

 

 

Bless you all

 

 

 

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Rachael

Going to the gender support group should help you out some I know it's helped me a lot. I've been to a couple of different groups and nobody says anything bad so just go and be yourself everyone has offered their support. I can't say much about your discomfort. When things got bad for me I just let go grabbed onto my faith held on tight and never stopped believing and when I least expected it doors seemed to open and things got better. Hope you feel better soon.😂

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MaryMary

With time I got used to the mental effect of stress. I get what you are saying. I think for each person it's different. I was diagnosed 2 seperate times with "fibromyalgia". It was in a big part uncontrolled dysphoria at its most intense. The reality is that stress at some point will difinitely have a physical effect on your body. If you add up all the stress you might live in a normal day and add dysphoria and fear of judgment over that it's really starting to add up.

 

I'm sure that if everybody here that are aware of that would say what physical health problem they had because of stress we would have a very eloquent demonstration.

 

Take care of your health the best you can and don't underestimate dysphoria in the big picture.

Do take time to feel feminine and take care of the woman in you

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Jani423

Clara that is a good list of things you are doing.  Mary's point that emotional stress can manifest itself in physical pain (stress) is certainly valid and you should look at all your options if things don't get better. 

 

56 minutes ago, Clara Bell said:

feel a slow burning furnace in their chest? One that intensifies at times? Or an occasional sharp jab in the heart?

When I read this the first thing that came to mind was GERD or acid reflux which can definitely be a reaction to stress, along with other well known physical triggers like spicy food, etc.  

 

Transition can be an intensely stressful time.  I was most anxious when I was in that in-between stage of presenting in both genders.  Once I made the choice to go full time a lot of it was relieved, but you have to make your own decisions about this.  

 

Rachael's suggestion of a support group is excellent, if you can find one nearby.  I actually still go to two different groups.  

 

As Mary says take care of yourself the best you can.

 

Jani

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CyndiRae

I'll 2nd what Jani says, and add that I used to take a lot of antacid tablets before. I was a mess from stress (anxiety)

 

These days I might use them once or twice a year. This difference was real, and I eat the same foods as before.

 

Solving my gender anxiety fixed a lot of my stomach acid re-flux problems, just sayin'

 

Best to you

 

C -

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Charlize

The stress of transition is something i remember quite well.  I'm not sure i had exactly the same symptoms but i remember being uncomfortable physically as well as mentally. I'm not sure when you will be seeing your regular doctor for a checkup but i would make it sooner rather than later.  I remember quite well as stresses built within me confiding in my doctor that i had gender issues and was beginning transition.  It helped and she has become an ally at this point.  If there is any other reason for your discomfort that could also help to find what is going on.  Please take care of yourself which includes being honest with your medical team(which is sworn to confidentiality).

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

 

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Rachael

I should mention that PFLAG is one of the support groups the first one I found by accident and met my doctor there. My sister said there is one near her search for it by name. Before I found PFLAG I went to a cancer support group (still do, and came out to them) that I had gone to with Patti. It seems odd but any support group that you feel comfortable going to will help just because you are with people, people that care, and people who are struggling but not necessarily with the same issues as you but it helps. I hope you find some strength to help you on your journey. 

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Clara Bell

The pain is getting worse, and the tears are nom-stop. I saw my physician yesterday, she checked for muscle pain, and did an EKG. Everything was fine, she sees it as stress related due to this nee chapter in my life. She was cool, non-judgemental and supportive. She even gave me a referral to the TG therapy clinic. She is hesitant to give me haply pills as she believes that the pain and sorrow is natural, and i will work through it. Plus i am recovered, and she diesnt want to enter meds into the picture unless necassary. I swear to God though, I could use some time off of work. I need money for my new life 🤔.

 

Now i know my heart is healthy, its just this woman emerging from that spot that is causing all the dam trouble, but I already love her, so its ok ❤

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Timber Wolf

Hi Clara,

I used to cry when I had to go to work, because I had to present as that man to do so. In time I came to realise in my heart and mind that I am Carla no matter how I'm dressed. While it's still hard having to switch back and forth for work, it's gotten better as I've progressed as a girl. As we progress it does get better with time, which ever direction our journey takes us.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

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Jani423

This is an important distinction that Carla has made.  

1 hour ago, Timber Wolf said:

that I am Carla no matter how I'm dressed

You are always Clara Bell.  You are not becoming a woman, you are just shedding the male role you have been playing in life for many years.  

 

Jani

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