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Update... life becoming a mess. The price of a transition ?


Clara84

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Hello everybody,

I haven't written anything here during a few months. Here some news.

 

About my transition, everything goes very well, I got some good changes, blood tests are very good.

I haven't had any "passing" issue since months. I obtained official name and gender change and new ID.

 

But unfortunately my personal life became a total mess.

I changed, changed a lot, I am totally another person now. Not only physically but also personality and attitude.

A lot of people told me that there is NO REMAIN from the old one.

 

Because of all these changes, my wife became afraid and began to distance herself from me. She wanted me to leave. I tried to insist, a lot, but no way.

Finally we separated 3 months ago and she began a war against me about money and children, telling the court that she can't bear me because I transitioned.

I have never been so sad.

 

In between we both began a new relationship with another person and try to create a new life, but it's difficult.

Since one week, my wife is coming back to me, telling me she can't live without me and apologize for the last months events. She said that was because all the changes were too fast and that she was very afraid. My therapist also told me she never saw someone who transitioned so fast.

 

Now we're both in love with two persons; I began to have some secret dating with my wife this week without telling our partners.

I absolute don't know what to do. I am totally lost in my mind. My family is destructed and I can't accept it. Too many things are broken to switch back to my wife and live as before, but the idea of re-beginning a story with her is very present in my mind.

 

On the other side, I am also living some beautiful moments with my new partner who is really in love with me.

No matter what I will do, there will be sadness and tears and I don't want that.

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I am really thing about this.

Is it really possible to transition without any mess in our lives ?

...or such problems like mine are like the "price of the transition"

I read too many articles about trans persons who lost everything during the transition. I wanted to be an exception, I failed.

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As one who ended up divorcing, for me it caused a mess. But then again, life goes on. For me, transition allowed me to be my full self, so I am sure I seem different. But in reality, I never was that other person to begin with.

 

I can't offer advice on the how to handle you specific situation, I never had kids. So that made divorce an easy decision (due to things other being trans in hindsight), since we had some long term issues we were ignoring. One question I have is what would you curent partner, wife, and her partner think about an open relationship? I found it easier throwing out the book on what is expected relationship wise, it has made things so much easier, though not without complications.

 

Since divorcing I have seen her on more than one occasion, but it comes out to seeing her about once every 3-6 months (no kid made this easier). 

 

PS; It is good to hear from you and you look great. 

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1 minute ago, MaryMary said:

I think I was in a depression for so long I became my depression. My friends were friends with the depression really. When they described me they described my depression. No wonder that if I make a transition it's a shock for them ;)

You're right. Main change is the end of the depression.

Before transitioning I would have killed myself if I lost my wife. Now it's hard but I am still living.

 

6 minutes ago, MarcieMarie12 said:

I can't offer advice on the how to handle you specific situation, I never had kids. So that made divorce an easy decision (due to things other being trans in hindsight), since we had some long term issues we were ignoring. One question I have is what would you curent partner, wife, and her partner think about an open relationship? I found it easier throwing out the book on what is expected relationship wise, it has made things so much easier, though not without complications.

 

Our new partners are both against an open relationship.

Her partner knows she's thinking about coming back with me and is understanding.

Mine hates my wife. He sees her as "a competitor " and is jealous.

 

What is expected? I don't know. Not sure of what I want. I began a new relationship just to be "not alone" but now, love is here. But the other love is still alive too.

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  • Forum Moderator

   As in read your posts i see how fortunate i have been.  I thought it took me a good bit of time to transition but as i look back at it for my wife it must have been quite sudden.  I'm fortunate that we have stayed together.  She had known and loved him for 40+ years and now she loves her as well.  She can see i'm happy and at greater peace than ever before. Our roles haven't changed as she may have feared at first.  Friends and family haven't turned their backs and in the long run after 63 years of living as a man many of my likes and interests have remained despite transition.  There was a period when i thought i must change completely but that passed.  I now work the farm as i did the difference is that customers see me as a strong woman.

   I can't offer any advice except to pray.  In time the situation will resolve and your path will become clear.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

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Just now, Charlize said:

   As in read your posts i see how fortunate i have been.  I thought it took me a good bit of time to transition but as i look back at it for my wife it must have been quite sudden.  I'm fortunate that we have stayed together.  She had known and loved him for 40+ years and now she loves her as well.  She can see i'm happy and at greater peace than ever before. Our roles haven't changed as she may have feared at first.  Friends and family haven't turned their backs and in the long run after 63 years of living as a man many of my likes and interests have remained despite transition.  There was a period when i thought i must change completely but that passed.  I know work the farm as i did the difference is that customers see me as a strong woman.

   I can't offer any advice except to pray.  In time the situation will resolve and your path will become clear.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

Yes you're fortunate!

I know it's a schock for our wives.

For myself. After 9 years living together, everything changed in... 6 months.

Before separating my wife was often disappointed about me saying I was "too happy" and "too much smiling "

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  • 4 weeks later...

Seriously, I think she's just trying to make me suffer.

 

My wife and I continued to see each other discreetly. Last Thursday we kissed and said how much we are in love each other.

 

She asks me for a clear answer about my feelings for several weeks. We decide to try to reconstruct our story slowly.

 

Yesterday she tells me that I have to leave my boyfriend because she really wants to come back, she is 99% sure that she wants to be with me..

 

An hour later I tell her that I agree and that she is the one I love the most. Then she said she does not want me, it was a mistake and we must "assume our new lives we chose" and that she does not love me.

 

Since 24 hours I am crying. I do not know what to do. I will never be able to forget her. Especially if she comes back with "I love you / I don't love you"

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Hi Clara. You describe some very painful and confusing moments with your wife. My heart goes out to you. It's clear you are both feeling some intense emotions that are making it difficult to make wise decisions. Is it possible to agree to take a vacation from each other, even if it's a week or two with some basic rules? If you're meant to be together, you'll get through this. If not, you can begin the work to separate and find the happiness you deserve.

 

Hugs

Gwen

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58 minutes ago, Gwen said:

Hi Clara. You describe some very painful and confusing moments with your wife. My heart goes out to you. It's clear you are both feeling some intense emotions that are making it difficult to make wise decisions. Is it possible to agree to take a vacation from each other, even if it's a week or two with some basic rules? If you're meant to be together, you'll get through this. If not, you can begin the work to separate and find the happiness you deserve.

 

Hugs

Gwen

It sounds good to take a vacation but it's impossible because we've got children and we fight about who will live with the children.

Worst thing she don't want the children but she also don't want they live with me. Child protective services took our children away!! And she don't fight against them, I am alone. She said it's better that the children are not with us.

 

Work to be separate... we worked on it since 6 months and obviously it don't works because we miss each other.

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Guest Rachel Gia

I tend to be more concerned about your kids then your mutual need for intamacy and drama.

Don't confuse codepency for love and if there are things other than your transition that led to this place , looking at those is where you might start.

My ex wife has no substance problems but her mother was an alcoholic thus my wife in my opinion was untreated Alanon. It ends up being the same thing so I go to Alanon to deal with my issues with my ex wife and the effects of the trauma that I still live with caused by both my mother (also untreated Alanon) and my wife.

There is just not enough information here for an outsider to have an solution.

Focus on the welfare of your kids is all I can say and also that being in the solution is the solution.

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Clara,

Love that name by the way! 

I can only tell you what I would do and why. My wife is my soulmate. She is not 100% on board with my transition. She accepts but does not like that I am in full transition doses of hormones. Let’s me wear what I want under my clothes or at home I can wear anything I want. Usually one of my favorite skorts. I only have women’s underwear and shoes. Ears are pierced. And she hates the electrolysis. But let’s me do it. Had a fit when I asked for an orchiectomy. Said she would leave. But then came to me to discuss it later and probably will let me in the future. But for my personal reasons it’s on the back burner for now. And the nails. Omg the nails. If I get them she only likes a French mani and pedi with a matte top coat so they look natural. But it’s something. Just trying to give you an idea how she is. Now I move forward at a pace I feel is best for her. If it were up to me I would be going faster. But at least I am moving forward.

 

You are lucky. You are living the way you want and your wife wants you. I would kill to be in your position. 

 

I feel there will be a time in the future where my wife would leave. She knows where I want to be with my transition. I always make sure she knows and make her acknowledge. 

 

I also feel she would do the exact exact thing your wife did. Realize that she loves me and can’t live without me and me like this is better than a dead me. 

 

She knows it make me happy and thats why why I am where I am now. My happiness is important to her. It’s just hard for her. She is like most wives. She says she is not gay and married a man. Blah blah blah. 

 

Ok ok with all that said. As harsh as it would be to a new partner I would have. In a heartbeat I would be back with my wife. As I stated before she is my soulmate, the one I think about all day every day. Whether I am with her or she is working or on a trip for work. She is what I care about most. More than myself to a point. I am so blessed I get to have what I do. 

 

I love my life with her. No possible way I could ever be happy without her in it. I would survive. I always have. I’ve been thru deaths in the family. I’ve been homeless. You name it it’s probably happened to me in some way. But seeing her face is the best thing about my day. Everything else just does not compare. Always thought that  this soulmate stuff was stupid until I met her. I knew the day we met for the first time we would be together. 

 

So so what I am saying. Is she your soulmate? Is she the one that you think about when she is not around. Who would you save on this earth if you could only save one person. And kids don’t count. Because they always come first. But I know you understand what I am saying. IS SHE THE ONE??? Is she the one you would give everything up for. Except transition. Because I’m my opinion that does not count. It’s not a choice. 

 

I am so so sorry you have to go thru this. It sucks. But I understand everything you are going through. And I am just telling you what I would do. Being honest. Sorry if it does not help. 

 

Nora

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  • 1 month later...

A little update...

 

I fought for the kids and I finally won. I was at the court last Friday and the judge gave me the child care, kids are now with me.

It's very unusual that the kids are given to a trans person. At first, my transition was my wife's only defense. But the court considered us as two equal mothers.

 

I was happy receiving the official letter written "the kids go back to their MOTHER, Ms. Clara...."

 

Now... my wife... it's still a total disaster but the war is over.

We spoke a lot together. I KNOW she's still feeling something for me, but she can't admit it.

She writes to me almost everyday. We're still having sex together. And each time we reach the point where anybody should admit we're in love, she changes sides, she become angry and cold. She sometimes insults me. In those moments, I can even cry in front of her and she's still cold like an ice cube :( Two days after, she come back.... She already reproduced this story-line dozens of times.

 

She said she is blocked by my transition. It's not the fact she don't like women. It's the fact she can't admit having lived a "false story" during years with someone who wasn't really me. She is mad with the fact I didn't came out earlier.

She's ok with the physical changes, she's still attracted to me. But the social and mental changes are too much for her.

 

She also can't admit my view of gender. She's still mourning about "her husband who's dead". She also mad about the fact she married and had child with a woman without knowing it. 

 

In my country, official gender change is backdated. On the official registries, we are married as two women since years. And the child parents are two mothers, me and her. On that point, she becomes sometimes trans-phobic... saying no child can be born without a man !

She thought trans persons should never have biological children, because it's dangerous for the children and too "complicated"

 

(As counter-example, I spoke her about some FtM persons who are pregnant and had child... A lot of them consider themselves as fathers. For her, as they are pregnant, they are women and mothers !)

 

I miss her, I miss her very much. But I am tired of this. I wish to be aromantic, life would be easier. I love her so much, that's horrible.

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  • Forum Moderator

Hello Clara.  Congratulations on receiving custody of your children.  I'm sure that is a huge relief and they are happy to be with you.  Your wife is another thing; sorry.  She sounds like she could benefit from some time with a therapist, even it the ultimate goal isn't getting back together, just to obtain some peace of mind.  

 

Interesting thing the way your countries laws are, very progressive.

 

Jani  

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15 hours ago, Jani423 said:

Hello Clara.  Congratulations on receiving custody of your children.  I'm sure that is a huge relief and they are happy to be with you.  Your wife is another thing; sorry.  She sounds like she could benefit from some time with a therapist, even it the ultimate goal isn't getting back together, just to obtain some peace of mind.  

 

Interesting thing the way your countries laws are, very progressive.

 

Jani  

 

Thank you Jani

Yes, we will see a therapist. She said she was ok to come with me to a therapist. I hope she won't change her mind.

Children are happy to be back. They are still hoping my wife will come back. It's hard for me to speak about that with them...

 

No, the laws aren't progressive at all. There are simply no laws. Trans persons don't exists in the swiss law...

Legally, what we have to do is telling the court there is "a mistake" in the registry (gender and name are false). If they admit our gender don't match with what we really are, they simply correct it. Then every document since birth can be corrected.

 

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Hi Clara,

I am in a similar situation as you are. I was in a 19 year relationship with a woman and she didn't take well to my transition either. Luckily for us, the children are off on their own already. She and I are on a break right now, so to speak. We have both blocked each other from facebook, and we didn't speak for a couple of months. She made contact with me right before Christmas, and there has been some contact since. She tells me she still loves me as well, and then goes to saying she has a lot of mixed emotions. I think your wife is having a lot of mixed emotions too. My girl is in individual therapy, which I feel she needs. Only she can sort through these mixed emotions and their causes. I am getting the impression that your wife needs the same thing. My girl and I don't have sex right now, because sex can confuse your emotions. Maybe you two should take a break from the sex too, give each other a little breathing room, and time to work on your individual issues in therapy.

 

Erin

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Yes mixed emotions. She persists saying I lied to her presenting myself as male 10 years ago.

 

At first she was totally OK with my transition when I came out to her.

3 months later, the nightmare began. I was at 1 month hrt and she began to have some doubt as she noticed the mental effects of hrt.

 

That period also matches with the moment she stopped misgender me. I've also have same experience with some friends... at first OK and when they recorded the fact that I am really a girl... no more OK.

 

She sometimes want to have sex with me because she finds me very attractive . She says it's only physical and she's no more in love.

 

She already has her own therapist. I think she's depressed. She lives in a hotel room. She's most of the time alone... she don't even care about the children.

She's alone but many times when I suggest to do something with her she prefers saying no. Because "shes no more in love and she shouldn't see me" it's like she decided that as a rule. 

 

The only times she wants to see me is when she want to have sex. 

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Glad to hear you have your children back. Sorry to hear your wife is still having trouble. I hope she can come around eventually. 

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Guest Rachel Gia

Hi Clara,

I am so happy to hear the news about you and your children being together!

I also loved how the court document stated

On 2/22/2018 at 2:51 PM, Clara84 said:

I was happy receiving the official letter written "the kids go back to their MOTHER, Ms. Clara...."

 

That must have warmed your heart! It warmed mine:)

My ex-wife seems to having issues with the past and I get the feeling I will be on the other end of passive aggressive comments for a while yet.

I hope your wife can find some help beyond the meetings with your marriage counsellor. Isolation is bad medicine and as she needs to meet you and your children somewhere in the middle.

Much Love to you and your family

Rachel

Vancouver BC

 

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Just now, Rachel Gia said:

Hi Clara,

I am so happy to hear the news about you and your children being together!

I also loved how the court document stated

That must have warmed your heart! It warmed mine:)

My ex-wife seems to having issues with the past and I get the feeling I will be on the other end of passive aggressive comments for a while yet.

I hope your wife can find some help beyond the meetings with your marriage counsellor. Isolation is bad medicine and as she needs to meet you and your children somewhere in the middle.

Much Love to you and your family

Rachel

Vancouver BC

 

 

Hi

Yes this letter warmed my heart, really.

 

Those passive aggressive comments are really sad and it hurts...

I don't have much hope about the future with her. She's so obtuse on some points.. it would be hard.

 

Thank you for your greetings... but I feel like I don't have anymore family. I am just a single mom.

Love

 

Clara 

 

P.S. Rachel is also my wife's first name 

 

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Guest Rachel Gia

Hi Clara,

I am single mom as well but my kids love me and I have a family is the trans and gay community in Vancouver now.

It a place we "get" each other without explanation.

I need to do trans chic stuff for a bit but will be around to look at the computer.

You can call me Gia if you like as its my middle name.

Gia

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  • 3 weeks later...

Today is my wedding's birthday. A very sad day.

Wife is now totally denying the fact she had a love story and a wedding with me.

She always said it wasn't with me but with "my twin brother".

 

In her mind, she never met me, she never loved me, she never married me, she never left me.

When she speaks about the past with me, she never used the pronoun "you"

 

It should be a mess in her head.

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Clara,

It's always sad to hear something like this, and I am very sorry that it happened this way. But even in a dark storm of life like this, the sun will shine again. We just have to keep looking ahead to that day.

 

Lots  of love,

Timber Wolf?

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  • Forum Moderator

Clara, I'm sorry to hear this.  She is obviously taking this very hard.  I hope you can both find some common ground to reconcile on.

 

Jani

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She told me having a family is no more for her. In some ways, she's also rejecting the children.

I am thinking that it sounds so hard for her that she want do "delete" all the story she had with me, including the children.

 

The fact she leaves me is horrible. But the fact she denies that she loved me during years is worst than all.

 

She sometimes told me she wants to be my friend.

But she's also thinking about moving far far away, just to avoid seeing me again

 

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Clara, it sounds like your wife is behaving in a very unhealthy way in response to it all. It is NOT your fault. Yes, transition can be a shock to the system for our loved ones, but your wife is an adult, and she may be hurt, but she is choosing how she reacts and in turn hurting others--you, and from the sound of it probably your kids as well. You didn't make her behave that way. 

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      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
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