Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

alcohol


BC

Recommended Posts

i can't stop drinking. all the ways i've gotten a grip on it before aren't working. especially since i started to transition i can't do them anymore. they weren't healthy things so i don't think it's bad in itself that i can't do them but i'm drinking a litre or so of spirits a day and it's interfering with work, life, health etc. i can't figure out how to rearrarnge things in my head to get it to stop. a bit worried that it's the hormones interfering. not that i will stop them but just finding it hard i guess.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi BC,

I'm a recovering addict. I've spent years of my life trying to quit drugs my own way with a 0% success rate. I finally came to realise that my way doesn't work. I had to try someone elses way. I had no idea if that would work or not, but I was desperate. After rehab I started attending 12 step meetings. That was over 11 years ago. I'm still clean because I was finally willing to open my mind to someone elses way. My own way simply didn't work. You can quit drinking and find recovery too if you're willing to do whatever it takes. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Thanks for being so honest BC.  Many of us find that very hard to do.  It took me much too long to admit i had a problem with alcohol and it nearly killed me.  I knew i couldn't stop but at the same time alcohol had long since stopped giving me the joy or peace it had once offered.  I just wanted more.  I am grateful that i reached out and found a meeting of AA.  I'm sure if you google AA you will find meetings in your area.  There are also online meetings both as list serves, chat or audio visual meetings on Skype or other platform.  One Zoom trans* meeting i attend is pined in this forum.  I find those meeting especially helpful as we can share both our addiction and gender issues.  Times can be difficult for folks in Europe but we do get folks from Germany, Italy and England as well as Australia and across the US and Canada.  There is a way out of the hole you find yourself in and many are here with hands extended.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest Rachel Gia

AA worked for me when I could not stay stoppes by myself.

Sounds like you have the desire to stay stopped and that is all you need.

Much Love

Rachel 

 

Link to comment
  • Admin

Chapter 3 of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous puts it rather bluntly about alcohol.  "Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, and powerful -- without help it is too much for us..."  I am another one who follows the same pattern, but with help I have been sober for over 9 years now, but I NEVER could have done it MY WAY.  Sure, HRT does open up some emotions that alcohol addicts are trying to hide, but it is not a reason to use more booze.  In my case, actually the HRT and the nine months of sober living that preceded getting the E prescribed for me, totally smashed my craving and desire to drink, and that has remained a constant in the 9 years of my transitioning, all the way through to "The Other Side" of surgery.  Just get used to the fact that alcohol is poison for you and join the mob of us here on this site who live and love our total sobriety.  

Link to comment

From the chapter We Do Recover (Narcotics Anonymous):

"Today ,secure in the love of the Fellowship, we can finally look another human in the eye and be grateful for who we are."

It is possible to stop and there are some great resources here. Alcohol and HRT are a bad plan anyway because of possible complications. Come visit us in the zoom or chat meetings, recovery is possible.

Link to comment

heyas, thanks for replying. i tried AA a few years back after i got out of detox but it didn't really work for me... going to meetings and hearing ppl talking about it made me just think about what i was missing so i stopped going. then stayed sober for a while and then started again and it escalated to where i am now. i'm trying to get a grip on it but seems to be slipping away from me. nothing anybody can fix.

 

i feel bad that it's getting worse since i started T. like everything is meant to get better when you transition and this isn't, which makes me doubt other stuff, which makes me drink more. blech. life's a bitch :) 

Link to comment
  • Admin

The problem is that you quit going, and I doubt that you were really listening to them, because we tell our stories of what it was like while drinking (and YOU thought you would miss all of that good stuff!!) , what happened when we hit bottom (you may have missed those parts while you thought about the stuff you found fun) and especially you missed out on the parts of how VERY MUCH BETTER life became after we sobered up.  Now those things are truly wonderful and exciting.  Your doctor can get you on or off the T, but you have to get YOURSELF off the booze!!  Maybe the T is NOT FOR YOU.  I know people that has happened to and no shame to that either. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi BC,

In my earlier post I said you can recover too if you are willing to do whatever it takes. Willingness is the critical word here. It usually takes a sence of desperation for us to become willing. A few years back you say you kept thinking about how you missed it and just wanted to drink again. A few years back you weren't ready to quit yet. You may be more willing by now. The truth is, the "good times" will never return. Oh, they'll come along just enough to lead you on like bait in a trap, but then hell will return when the trap springs. 

 

I remember an addict who used to come to NA meetings still using between meetings. He said he wasn't ready to quit quite yet, he was just looking for that willingness to quit and recover. He found it! He did finally quit.

 

When I first sought help, I wasn't completely committed to it. I still had desire to use drugs. But I saw others working on recovery and they seemed to be pretty happy. I just kept going to meetings, then one day I thought about it and realised I really didn't want to use drugs anymore. Even though I hadn't used drugs for a few months, that was the day I really turned and walked away from them. It was making the effort to go to meetings, and even more importantly making the effort to open my mind to recovery and the things they taught me in the meetings that finally gave me the willingness. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

   There was a point years before i stopped drinking when i understood not only did i not want to stop but somehow i knew i couldn't.  Years past, shakes every day, all day became the norm.  I could only steady myself with alcohol.  I started to hallucinate.  They were not the fun visions of some i'd had doing drugs in the 60's.  Horrible visions would simply appear.  

   I've heard alcoholism and addiction spoken of as an elevator.  We can get off at any level especially if we are honest about having a problem.   I will suffer from damage done for the rest of my most likely shortened life. 

    I was blessed that when i went to an AA meeting i had a belief that it might work.  My wife had worked at a prominent addictions hospital for over 17 years.  She said it was the only program that ever seemed to give permanent sobriety.  The hospital could get one sobered up but the program was necessary to stay sober.

   I am grateful that i believed.  Today i live a life beyond my wildest dreams.  Not only am i sober but i'm living as myself and most days i'm relatively peaceful and pretty happy.

   It was my decision to believe and seek sobriety.  I can't give anyone that desire but i do know there is a solution if we work for it.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

 

Link to comment

"White knuckling" rarely if ever works, but there are 5 suggestions that do:

1. go to meetings regularly.

2. pray and meditate

3. read the literature

4. work the steps with a sponsor

5. don't pick up no matter what

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 78 Guests (See full list)

    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • MaybeRob
    • Susan R
    • Ashley0616
    • Betty K
    • Stefi
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...