Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

BC

alcohol

Recommended Posts

BC

i can't stop drinking. all the ways i've gotten a grip on it before aren't working. especially since i started to transition i can't do them anymore. they weren't healthy things so i don't think it's bad in itself that i can't do them but i'm drinking a litre or so of spirits a day and it's interfering with work, life, health etc. i can't figure out how to rearrarnge things in my head to get it to stop. a bit worried that it's the hormones interfering. not that i will stop them but just finding it hard i guess.

Share this post


Link to post
Timber Wolf

Hi BC,

I'm a recovering addict. I've spent years of my life trying to quit drugs my own way with a 0% success rate. I finally came to realise that my way doesn't work. I had to try someone elses way. I had no idea if that would work or not, but I was desperate. After rehab I started attending 12 step meetings. That was over 11 years ago. I'm still clean because I was finally willing to open my mind to someone elses way. My own way simply didn't work. You can quit drinking and find recovery too if you're willing to do whatever it takes. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

Thanks for being so honest BC.  Many of us find that very hard to do.  It took me much too long to admit i had a problem with alcohol and it nearly killed me.  I knew i couldn't stop but at the same time alcohol had long since stopped giving me the joy or peace it had once offered.  I just wanted more.  I am grateful that i reached out and found a meeting of AA.  I'm sure if you google AA you will find meetings in your area.  There are also online meetings both as list serves, chat or audio visual meetings on Skype or other platform.  One Zoom trans* meeting i attend is pined in this forum.  I find those meeting especially helpful as we can share both our addiction and gender issues.  Times can be difficult for folks in Europe but we do get folks from Germany, Italy and England as well as Australia and across the US and Canada.  There is a way out of the hole you find yourself in and many are here with hands extended.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Rachel Gia

AA worked for me when I could not stay stoppes by myself.

Sounds like you have the desire to stay stopped and that is all you need.

Much Love

Rachel 

 

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

Chapter 3 of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous puts it rather bluntly about alcohol.  "Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, and powerful -- without help it is too much for us..."  I am another one who follows the same pattern, but with help I have been sober for over 9 years now, but I NEVER could have done it MY WAY.  Sure, HRT does open up some emotions that alcohol addicts are trying to hide, but it is not a reason to use more booze.  In my case, actually the HRT and the nine months of sober living that preceded getting the E prescribed for me, totally smashed my craving and desire to drink, and that has remained a constant in the 9 years of my transitioning, all the way through to "The Other Side" of surgery.  Just get used to the fact that alcohol is poison for you and join the mob of us here on this site who live and love our total sobriety.  

Share this post


Link to post
onaquest

From the chapter We Do Recover (Narcotics Anonymous):

"Today ,secure in the love of the Fellowship, we can finally look another human in the eye and be grateful for who we are."

It is possible to stop and there are some great resources here. Alcohol and HRT are a bad plan anyway because of possible complications. Come visit us in the zoom or chat meetings, recovery is possible.

Share this post


Link to post
BC

heyas, thanks for replying. i tried AA a few years back after i got out of detox but it didn't really work for me... going to meetings and hearing ppl talking about it made me just think about what i was missing so i stopped going. then stayed sober for a while and then started again and it escalated to where i am now. i'm trying to get a grip on it but seems to be slipping away from me. nothing anybody can fix.

 

i feel bad that it's getting worse since i started T. like everything is meant to get better when you transition and this isn't, which makes me doubt other stuff, which makes me drink more. blech. life's a bitch :) 

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

The problem is that you quit going, and I doubt that you were really listening to them, because we tell our stories of what it was like while drinking (and YOU thought you would miss all of that good stuff!!) , what happened when we hit bottom (you may have missed those parts while you thought about the stuff you found fun) and especially you missed out on the parts of how VERY MUCH BETTER life became after we sobered up.  Now those things are truly wonderful and exciting.  Your doctor can get you on or off the T, but you have to get YOURSELF off the booze!!  Maybe the T is NOT FOR YOU.  I know people that has happened to and no shame to that either. 

Share this post


Link to post
Timber Wolf

Hi BC,

In my earlier post I said you can recover too if you are willing to do whatever it takes. Willingness is the critical word here. It usually takes a sence of desperation for us to become willing. A few years back you say you kept thinking about how you missed it and just wanted to drink again. A few years back you weren't ready to quit yet. You may be more willing by now. The truth is, the "good times" will never return. Oh, they'll come along just enough to lead you on like bait in a trap, but then hell will return when the trap springs. 

 

I remember an addict who used to come to NA meetings still using between meetings. He said he wasn't ready to quit quite yet, he was just looking for that willingness to quit and recover. He found it! He did finally quit.

 

When I first sought help, I wasn't completely committed to it. I still had desire to use drugs. But I saw others working on recovery and they seemed to be pretty happy. I just kept going to meetings, then one day I thought about it and realised I really didn't want to use drugs anymore. Even though I hadn't used drugs for a few months, that was the day I really turned and walked away from them. It was making the effort to go to meetings, and even more importantly making the effort to open my mind to recovery and the things they taught me in the meetings that finally gave me the willingness. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

   There was a point years before i stopped drinking when i understood not only did i not want to stop but somehow i knew i couldn't.  Years past, shakes every day, all day became the norm.  I could only steady myself with alcohol.  I started to hallucinate.  They were not the fun visions of some i'd had doing drugs in the 60's.  Horrible visions would simply appear.  

   I've heard alcoholism and addiction spoken of as an elevator.  We can get off at any level especially if we are honest about having a problem.   I will suffer from damage done for the rest of my most likely shortened life. 

    I was blessed that when i went to an AA meeting i had a belief that it might work.  My wife had worked at a prominent addictions hospital for over 17 years.  She said it was the only program that ever seemed to give permanent sobriety.  The hospital could get one sobered up but the program was necessary to stay sober.

   I am grateful that i believed.  Today i live a life beyond my wildest dreams.  Not only am i sober but i'm living as myself and most days i'm relatively peaceful and pretty happy.

   It was my decision to believe and seek sobriety.  I can't give anyone that desire but i do know there is a solution if we work for it.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
onaquest

"White knuckling" rarely if ever works, but there are 5 suggestions that do:

1. go to meetings regularly.

2. pray and meditate

3. read the literature

4. work the steps with a sponsor

5. don't pick up no matter what

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 18 Guests (See full list)

    • Anna75
    • Jani
    • VickySGV
    • CyndiRae
    • Natalie86
    • ChelseaAnn
    • Cela
    • Sandra6sandy9sand
  • Who Was Online

    101 Users were Online in the Last 48 Hours
    • Jani
    • Anna75
    • VickySGV
    • CyndiRae
    • Natalie86
    • BrandiBri
    • ChelseaAnn
    • Cela
    • Sandra6sandy9sand
    • Maid In Bedlam
    • Cthorne
    • Roberta-Belinda
    • MaryEllen
    • Kris
    • Petra Jane
    • Martyn
    • Marbabar
    • Noelia6
    • stbSusan
    • EnbieCutie
    • jae bear
    • JJ
    • Kirsten
    • Jojo
    • Charlize
    • MaryMary
    • DrumbeatAlex
    • Julie J
    • KeiraC
    • KoreyA
    • Laxmi Siriwat
    • ejen
    • Janeshannon
    • Sharon Aml
    • doni
    • tracy_j
    • PaulaPlaytex
    • Emilio
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Clara84
    • samuel
    • claire1000
    • DenimAndLace
    • gski
    • Annie
    • Rachael
    • Xavier/Aria
    • Lizzie McTrucker
    • Amy joey
    • Queenie
    • Luna L
    • Abigail3051
    • Lauryn Michelle
    • Avra
    • Erika_E
    • Dev
    • Paul Rankeillor
    • Carly murr
    • Elyssia
    • Amy LeBlanc
    • Dakota16
    • Miae_Flame
    • Naomi Knowles
    • Ravin
    • Leo ray
    • Lina
    • Cmattison
    • Jill55
    • JBfox
    • Tommyftm
    • Willow
    • Laura Beth
    • Sydneyblue
    • ChickenLittle
    • April
    • Cluck1992
    • Myka.L
    • Rowan
    • Timber Wolf
    • Terry
    • Briana
    • 001dmc23
    • Connor_isnt.ok
    • Cheyenne skye
    • Casi
    • Jennifer 123
    • RikkiWilson
    • jade2003bs
    • ironemerson77
    • Cat Lady Kelly
    • Nikki5feet3
    • TiaMaria
    • AngieGirl
    • Steve Stewart
    • Falnone
    • Michelle F
    • Regn
    • Lukas
    • DraiksWrath
    • KymmieL
    • barbra e
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      65,764
    • Total Posts
      594,866
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      3,491
    • Most Online
      8,356

    EnbieCutie
    Newest Member
    EnbieCutie
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. JadeyCat
      JadeyCat
    2. Snow Princess Sophie
      Snow Princess Sophie
      (27 years old)
  • Posts

    • Jani
      Hello Chelsea and welcome.  I think you'll find friends here who can support you.  Please join in the conversation and post your own questions or observations.  I'm glad to hear your family life has returned to order.   Having a supportive family is great.   Jani 
    • VickySGV
      Go to Live Chat, either on the Main Page link at the left top of the page here, or through the more direct Live Chat link at the right edge of it. 
    • Jani
      I'm glad your life is back to normal.  That is what we all seek.  Your family sounds as if they are really trying.  Good for them! 
        Jani
    • CyndiRae
    • Jani
    • CyndiRae
      FYI,   https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/20/health/arizona-trans-woman-cvs-pharmacist-prescription-trnd/index.html   The article went on to say the pharmacist no longer works there. But it took filing a report to the state agency there.    How distressing.....      
    • Natalie86
      Hi Chelsea         Wow, I am happy things are finally going so well for you. I am not sure what I am just yet I was born male and know that I feel female. I am still on a road of discovery about myself. If you'd like to talk I'll listen.      Natalie
    • ChelseaAnn
      How do I join the server?
    • ChelseaAnn
      I am an avid MTG player, even though I've slowed down on my purchases due to saving money. Anyone else play? I've bought cards recently from Dominaria, but I'd love to find people to play with, maybe via Skype? I font play the online version, because, well... $$$. I also prefer the feel of a real card over a mouse.
    • ChelseaAnn
      Hello everyone, my name is Chelsea. I was born male but dream to be female. That dream is getting closer, but has been snagged from me a few times.    I'll keep things short, because I have a blog which describes things in more detail if you're interested. I came out back in 2013, only a few months after my son was born. I was cross dressing while my wife was at work and my son slept. I came to a realization that I wouldn't be able to hide it forever, and took the big step.   After nearly divorcing, my life is back on track and my wife and I have a five year old and a two year old. I have a great job, which isn't aware of my plans yet. Transition is only a few years away, even though I was weeks away from starting at the beginning of last year.   I was suicidal not long after I came out, and have only had thoughts a few times since, when large snags came up that made it seem like I'd never be able to transition. I'm good now though.   I came here to seek new friends and discuss things, as well as help those who are where I was five years ago. I'd really like to have a few friends who are trans or anything on the spectrum. I have some great friends (read family) who are 100% supportive, but only 2 who are under the trans community. So I am really looking for someone to be able to talk to who I can be openly honest and understanding with.
    • Cthorne
      So many things are going on now.   I'm Callum 100% of the time including at work (that was scary but it makes me feel so good! Except when my boss asks awkward questions in front of everyone and decides that I must have issues with my "downstairs" Her and a male co-worker were joking about certain parts of his body but anyway) My whole family call me Callum 24/7  there are still a few mix ups but those that are finding it difficult call me CJ (Callum James) I can finally bind!!(I only do it when I leave the house.) So happy altho I've noticed that it hurts when I take it off, I don't have any pain while wearing my binder, is this nomal? I was very very very surprised but my family bought up the idea of us going to the pride parade... I wasn't even going to mention it but they said it looks interesting and have now decided we are going to two different ones. We're going to the one at the end of this month because a distant family member goes to the same one with her gay son, shes offered to show us around and then the second one is in the place we live very excited!! The whole family is going!! Even my brothers who were very "no no no" When I joked about it when I came out to them.   I just... I don't have the words... This is amazing and I find myself worried I'm going to wake up and its all a dream. I don't wanna get too used to it in case it all goes wrong or gets wrecked (I hope this makes sense)   I did have a very strange moment and I was just wondering if anyone gets what I mean or if I'm just imaging it but as I said Callum  mode 24/7 but last week I had to go back to my female clothing and its like all my awkwardness and hating myself came back, my confidence just faded away... I could feel myself not wanting to be a part of the world and I felt so down.... Does this make sense? Now I'm back to normal and I'm the life of the party again lol What a strange life I lead.   Any thoughts folks?   *happy contented sigh*
    • MaryEllen
      It's been done.
    •  Roberta-Belinda
      Hello Mary Ellen.Yes,please change my name back to Roberta-Belinda,Thank you so much.
    •  Roberta-Belinda
      For the first time in all my 46 years of dressing as a girl,I have gone without wearing tights.The weather here in the Uk has been so warm for so many weeks it is not practical to wear hose.I love my tights as they make my legs look great but I have not minded going bare legged.Tights can be very uncomfortable im warm weather.Most women over here do not wear tights in this hot weather.As it is always my intention to emulate genetic women I am happy to dress like they do in the summer.Without tights I wear open toed sandles and mules.It's funny in male mode when I am out I never wear mens ooen toed sandals or flip flops and wear shoes with socks.I have never been comfortable in displaying feet.However,in female mode I do not mind doing this.Must be something to do with the duality of crossdressing.
    • MaryEllen
      Hello Roberta,   I can change your name if you'd like. I assume it would be Roberta-Belinda. I'll hold off until you've seen this so you won't have any problems signing in next time.
  • Upcoming Events

×