Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

alcohol


BC

Recommended Posts

i can't stop drinking. all the ways i've gotten a grip on it before aren't working. especially since i started to transition i can't do them anymore. they weren't healthy things so i don't think it's bad in itself that i can't do them but i'm drinking a litre or so of spirits a day and it's interfering with work, life, health etc. i can't figure out how to rearrarnge things in my head to get it to stop. a bit worried that it's the hormones interfering. not that i will stop them but just finding it hard i guess.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi BC,

I'm a recovering addict. I've spent years of my life trying to quit drugs my own way with a 0% success rate. I finally came to realise that my way doesn't work. I had to try someone elses way. I had no idea if that would work or not, but I was desperate. After rehab I started attending 12 step meetings. That was over 11 years ago. I'm still clean because I was finally willing to open my mind to someone elses way. My own way simply didn't work. You can quit drinking and find recovery too if you're willing to do whatever it takes. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Thanks for being so honest BC.  Many of us find that very hard to do.  It took me much too long to admit i had a problem with alcohol and it nearly killed me.  I knew i couldn't stop but at the same time alcohol had long since stopped giving me the joy or peace it had once offered.  I just wanted more.  I am grateful that i reached out and found a meeting of AA.  I'm sure if you google AA you will find meetings in your area.  There are also online meetings both as list serves, chat or audio visual meetings on Skype or other platform.  One Zoom trans* meeting i attend is pined in this forum.  I find those meeting especially helpful as we can share both our addiction and gender issues.  Times can be difficult for folks in Europe but we do get folks from Germany, Italy and England as well as Australia and across the US and Canada.  There is a way out of the hole you find yourself in and many are here with hands extended.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest Rachel Gia

AA worked for me when I could not stay stoppes by myself.

Sounds like you have the desire to stay stopped and that is all you need.

Much Love

Rachel 

 

Link to comment
  • Admin

Chapter 3 of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous puts it rather bluntly about alcohol.  "Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, and powerful -- without help it is too much for us..."  I am another one who follows the same pattern, but with help I have been sober for over 9 years now, but I NEVER could have done it MY WAY.  Sure, HRT does open up some emotions that alcohol addicts are trying to hide, but it is not a reason to use more booze.  In my case, actually the HRT and the nine months of sober living that preceded getting the E prescribed for me, totally smashed my craving and desire to drink, and that has remained a constant in the 9 years of my transitioning, all the way through to "The Other Side" of surgery.  Just get used to the fact that alcohol is poison for you and join the mob of us here on this site who live and love our total sobriety.  

Link to comment

From the chapter We Do Recover (Narcotics Anonymous):

"Today ,secure in the love of the Fellowship, we can finally look another human in the eye and be grateful for who we are."

It is possible to stop and there are some great resources here. Alcohol and HRT are a bad plan anyway because of possible complications. Come visit us in the zoom or chat meetings, recovery is possible.

Link to comment

heyas, thanks for replying. i tried AA a few years back after i got out of detox but it didn't really work for me... going to meetings and hearing ppl talking about it made me just think about what i was missing so i stopped going. then stayed sober for a while and then started again and it escalated to where i am now. i'm trying to get a grip on it but seems to be slipping away from me. nothing anybody can fix.

 

i feel bad that it's getting worse since i started T. like everything is meant to get better when you transition and this isn't, which makes me doubt other stuff, which makes me drink more. blech. life's a bitch :) 

Link to comment
  • Admin

The problem is that you quit going, and I doubt that you were really listening to them, because we tell our stories of what it was like while drinking (and YOU thought you would miss all of that good stuff!!) , what happened when we hit bottom (you may have missed those parts while you thought about the stuff you found fun) and especially you missed out on the parts of how VERY MUCH BETTER life became after we sobered up.  Now those things are truly wonderful and exciting.  Your doctor can get you on or off the T, but you have to get YOURSELF off the booze!!  Maybe the T is NOT FOR YOU.  I know people that has happened to and no shame to that either. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi BC,

In my earlier post I said you can recover too if you are willing to do whatever it takes. Willingness is the critical word here. It usually takes a sence of desperation for us to become willing. A few years back you say you kept thinking about how you missed it and just wanted to drink again. A few years back you weren't ready to quit yet. You may be more willing by now. The truth is, the "good times" will never return. Oh, they'll come along just enough to lead you on like bait in a trap, but then hell will return when the trap springs. 

 

I remember an addict who used to come to NA meetings still using between meetings. He said he wasn't ready to quit quite yet, he was just looking for that willingness to quit and recover. He found it! He did finally quit.

 

When I first sought help, I wasn't completely committed to it. I still had desire to use drugs. But I saw others working on recovery and they seemed to be pretty happy. I just kept going to meetings, then one day I thought about it and realised I really didn't want to use drugs anymore. Even though I hadn't used drugs for a few months, that was the day I really turned and walked away from them. It was making the effort to go to meetings, and even more importantly making the effort to open my mind to recovery and the things they taught me in the meetings that finally gave me the willingness. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

   There was a point years before i stopped drinking when i understood not only did i not want to stop but somehow i knew i couldn't.  Years past, shakes every day, all day became the norm.  I could only steady myself with alcohol.  I started to hallucinate.  They were not the fun visions of some i'd had doing drugs in the 60's.  Horrible visions would simply appear.  

   I've heard alcoholism and addiction spoken of as an elevator.  We can get off at any level especially if we are honest about having a problem.   I will suffer from damage done for the rest of my most likely shortened life. 

    I was blessed that when i went to an AA meeting i had a belief that it might work.  My wife had worked at a prominent addictions hospital for over 17 years.  She said it was the only program that ever seemed to give permanent sobriety.  The hospital could get one sobered up but the program was necessary to stay sober.

   I am grateful that i believed.  Today i live a life beyond my wildest dreams.  Not only am i sober but i'm living as myself and most days i'm relatively peaceful and pretty happy.

   It was my decision to believe and seek sobriety.  I can't give anyone that desire but i do know there is a solution if we work for it.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

 

Link to comment

"White knuckling" rarely if ever works, but there are 5 suggestions that do:

1. go to meetings regularly.

2. pray and meditate

3. read the literature

4. work the steps with a sponsor

5. don't pick up no matter what

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 92 Guests (See full list)

    • KymmieL
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      Good morning all,    It’s a frosty morning here the lawn looks silvery, and the uncovered spring flowers have icy edges on their leaves. The only flower bed I covered was my tulips. As nice as it is here during the day, our clear wind free nights allow the temperatures to drop into the mid twenties. Here in our growing zone it’s recommended that you not plant delicate plants until Mother’s Day. Central Indiana can have snow as late as the third week of May. The birds are active at the feeders, I’ve had my cup of yoghurt and morning meds. So I’ll sit here, drink coffee and watch the as the sunrise chases the frost from the yard.    @awkward-yet-sweet I could eat black eyed peas as a side for every meal. Boil them plain or with fatback. Served as a leftover, just add in a little Rotel Original Diced Tomatoes & Green Chilies.  Make the best of your day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Mirrabooka
      I hope y'all look at this one. A catchy tune released at the end of Covid lockdown. Scarlett is so cute!!!     
    • Heather Shay
    • Mirrabooka
    • Mirrabooka
      Had a weird dream last night.
    • Mirrabooka
      Morning, y'all. Evening here; we had the regulation three mugs full today. Now it's time to drink something else.     No big plans here either, eldest daughter and granddaughter will be arriving on Saturday, and we will have our granddaughter to ourselves for a week after that. We still have plans though. Tuesday we'll go to the swim center, Wednesday we'll take a road trip to visit my mom, Thursday we'll get some mulch delivered to top up the gardens.   I still make other small plans on a daily basis though. The things I do plan nowadays, which is a bit new for me, is that after pinching a nerve and ending up in a bit of pain and getting some treatment from the physio, I am more motivated than ever to exercise more regularly. Tuesday for example, I went for a short (15 minute) early morning walk, went to the pool for some hydrotherapy, and mowed the lawns. Yesterday I did my exercise reps and spent some time on the exercise bike. Today, I went for a 45-minute walk, tomorrow I will do my reps again and go for a long bike ride. As long as I do at least one thing every day, right? The pleasing thing is that I'm losing weight! I blew out to above 95kg early in the year and I'm just under 91kg now. Yay me!
    • Heather Shay
      What one piece of advice would you give to beginning transitioners or considering transition?
    • Heather Shay
      Positive side of the mixed bag.
    • Heather Shay
      Boredom is an emotional state that comes when a person has nothing to do, and is not interested in anything. To stop boredom, most people do something to occupy or amuse themselves. The first known use of the word boredom is in the novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens, written in 1852, but the saying to be a bore had been used to mean "to be tiresome or dull" since 1768. When referring to the mind, boredom is a bad state in which the person feels a deep lack of interest in what is going on around them, and where it is hard to focus.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Mirrabooka
      ^ Your story gives inspiration to others.
    • April Marie
      Growing stronger and confident every day.
    • April Marie
      So, yesterday's epiphany was that girl jeans fit me much nicer than boy jeans. Well, duh! So this girl is switching over to wearing girl jeans pretty much full time. I'll keep my others for work jeans. We went out to dinner last evening and I was in androgynous mode...wearing a pair of Bandolino Amy straight leg denim pants. Score!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...