Nonsupporting parents

[SilverPhantom]

Hey so I'm Ethan, ftm and 15. I'm gay,ace,poly. 

So my parents know I'm gay, and don't really care, I mean they aren't a fan, but also don't care.
Imma tell you a story;
A couple of months ago, I told my mom I was transgender, that I felt I was born in the wrong body, and I was a guy. She responded by yelling at me, sending me to my room, then storming in basically saying How God made me a girl, that I will NEVER have a binder, that in no means will I ever be a boy, and that it was normal to wish to be the opposite sex, with my kind of past history. 
SO, after that whole thing, she told my dad, and I have no idea how he took it. But it wasn't good.
Now time-skip to this month, she knows about my binder, but doesn't care, she bought me boxers, and is getting me more guy clothes, I shaved my head (to look more manly.) And they proceed to know that I am a trans guy. Both of my parents are Christian, and both know that I am "trying" to be transgendered (in their words) But are using my birth name and she/her pronouns WAY more then ever. Like "You are the best daughter ever," or "Come here princess." They are clearly ignoring the fact that I am trans, yet they know all about transgender people, but say that they shouldn't be allowed to be trans, because God made them the way he intended.
Next year (2018) I will be turning 16. I am thinking of asking my parents if i can start T, because I have been feeling like this for 6 years, since i was 9, i have been questioning things.
I don't know if I should have a talk with my mom and/or my dad, about me being trans, and ask if they would accept me, and call me by my preferred name, as well as help me transition.
I honestly have no clue as to what I should do, my situation is so confusing. And I just want help and to be accepted into my family as Ethan, the son, not as ^*#%&@$ the daughter.

If you have any tips, or ideas or anything really, please respond or DM me.

Sincerely; A Scared Trans Boy.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Ethan,

 

Welcome to TransPulse.   Thank you for sharing with us.  Your situation is common among young trans people. (unaccepting parents)  Would your parents be open to you having counseling with a psychiatrist?  Preferably with a gender specialist?  That would be your best course of action at the present time. If the therapist can determine that you are indeed transgender, perhaps that would go a long way toward convincing your parents to accept you as you are. A word of caution. Beware of any therapist who practices conversion or reparative therapy. They will try to convince you that you are not transgender. Not good. Although they would never admit it, they have caused many to commit suicide. Don't go there.

 

One thing you should not do is to be combative with your parents. That will only make the situation worse. Until you turn 18, you are still under their authority. Once you reach that age, you will be free to do whatever you please. You have to have patience. I know that is hard to accept but it's something you will have to do. 3 years will seem like an eternity but it will pass quickly enough.

I would urge you to seek out support groups in your area. It would help if you were able to discuss things with your  peers.

 

 

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1AVNC_enUS679US679&ei=Z8RMWsGSKcXtmAG9vISACA&q=glbtq+youth+groups+near+slidell+louisiana&oq=Glbtq+youth+groups+near+Slidell+&gs_l=psy-ab.1.1.33i160k1l2.28164.31894.0.34542.8.8.0.0.0.0.84.574.8.8.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.8.572...33i22i29i30k1j33i21k1.0.4xIVtvqKopE

 

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. We'll do our best to provide answers. We're here for you and we care.

 

MaryEllen

 

 

[MarcieMarie12]

Hi Mr. Phantom! Welcome to transpulse. People make tons of excuses for why we should not be trans. But dealing with family is hard. Keep in mind they are viewing it as loosing their daughter in addition to their other objections. It may take time for them to adjust. As a minor, your options are limited, you may have to wait until you are 18 to start medically transitioning. But in the meantime, the binder and other non permanent things can be done such at keeping your hair short.  Mary Ellen's advice is probably the best route, but you know your parents best and how they would react, the important thing is at this point is to stay safe. Once you turn 18, you are free to make your own medical decisions. 

[Jani]

Hello Ethan, 

I agree with the comments about not pushing your parents buttons so they become hostile towards any changes in your presentation or life in general. You still have to live under their roof for at least a few years.  Even then its better to have a congenial family relationship than not.  As to therapy, this would be helpful but be careful of being sent to a "christian" therapist who would be one sided.  This is not real therapy.  A good therapist helps not by driving the conversation but by helping you understand and accept your situation.

 

Jani 

[Charlize]

Hi Ethan ,

 Glad you've joined us here.  Many of us have issues with our families(maybe most).  Believe it or not even though i was in my 60's when i transitioned my families reaction was very difficult.  It has taken time to find the acceptance and support i had hoped for.  You mentioned a change in your mom's attitude already in buying you some male clothing!  That's a great start. Acceptance takes time.  

The idea of seeing a therapist is a good one.  After i had worked with my therapist for some time she suggested talking to my wife as well.  Having a third party, who understands,  as a helper in open and honest communication can be a great help.

Best of luck and please know you are not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize