So I am finally living life as me

[Alexiawolf]

I started transition about 5 years ago and I made some strides in that time from legally changing my name to my gender marker on my license, but then I got a wall I said I wanted to transition and deep down I did but I just could not seem to get over the hurdle and fear of going full time around friends family and co workers who knew me as male. Even my own family who accepted me for me would often question if I was serious, i mean I did the name change and gender in like the first year than nothing.

 

a bit of back story Before I had decided to transition I would drink...ALOT like about 30-40 shots of whiskey a night untill I would pass out because I couldn't deal with my issues. Once I decided I needed to change. After being approved for hrt i cut significantly back to basically quitting alcohol all together. (though I still smoked for years after I know bad lexi)

well once I hit that wall and really stopped seeing progress I fell into another depression and picked back up alcohol. In order to get my mind of things and seek a new life I started going to college and all my friends and teachers at school knew about me and treated me well even though I still presented as male due to that wall.

 

than it happened I had a very long talk with my step mother about me (she brought it up). She told me Alex you need to be you hun don't hide who you are because of how someone might react me and your father love you and just want to see you happy, it really struck a cord with me at the end of the conversation she offered to take me shopping for girls clothing for Christmas in preparation for my move, she was super supportive and I had a ton of fun and her words of encouragement inspired me. So i made my move now and i am living full time due to her encouraging words.

 

I started my new job and first thing I said is I am trans and I am transitioning and would like to use the correct restroom as I am living full time now.

 

well as of today I got the A ok from hr to do so and was even called ma'am in the gas station made me feel amazing not having the dysphoria weighing me down.

 

btw what do y'all think?

[Alexiawolf]

Oh and as of now I have been full time for 2 weeks have not had a cigarette in 2 weeks and no alcohol for a week and a half (last 3 days I just had a few drinks to help me relax as I had a serious cold and a tooth infection))

[Carolyn Marie]

Lexi, you are not alone in your struggles.  It is not often a straight line from the "wanting to be" to the "I am" part of transition.  You deserve props for sticking with it until you succeeded.  You owe a lot to your step mother, because without her support and encouragement, you will probably still be stuck in neutral.  But of course you know that.  Support from family and friends, or the lack of it, makes such a huge difference for all of us.  Congrats and continued good luck1

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie