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TessaOKC

Legitimate FTM Dating Sites, Please Help....

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TessaOKC

I'm MTF and my best friend is FTM. He has been really down lately and convinced that being alone for the rest of his life is a foregone conclusion. I won't accept that !!!

 

I want to compile a list of trustworthy and legitimate FTM dating sites and present to him. This includes sites where he can even meet other FTM's for friendship as well. He is romantically attracted to women. Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated!!!

 

Thank you so much,

 

Tess

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MaryEllen

He should check out local transgender support groups so he can meet other like minded people. I'm sure there must be some in your area. Beware of online dating sites. Too many predators out there. We have banned several predators here over the years. Two just recently. They seem legitimate when joining but then their true colors come through. Online hookups are just too risky. Safety should be a top priority.

 

MaryEllen

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VickySGV

Totally agree with @MaryEllen about the dangers of On-Line dating for ANY Trans Person.  I have two friends who have been badly hurt that way.  Support groups on the other hand have me looking at a couple of weddings to go to in the next year and several a-romantic teams and room-mate setups that are working just great.  I have enough good, lasting friends through my in-person meetings that I do not give a fig about whether I am part of a couple or not. 

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TessaOKC
49 minutes ago, MaryEllen said:

He should check out local transgender support groups so he can meet other like minded people. I'm sure there must be some in your area. Beware of online dating sites. Too many predators out there. We have banned several predators here over the years. Two just recently. They seem legitimate when joining but then their true colors come through. Online hookups are just too risky. Safety should be a top priority.

 

MaryEllen

 

Thanks Mary Ellen. We are actually in a support group together at the VA Hospital. Problem is, ratio of ftm to mtf is way lower. I hear you though. I get so sick and tired of the pervs, learned to really hate them !!!

 

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MaryMary

I find that topic interesting.

 

Ok, I get that that's dangerous but more and more dating work with online dating sites. I personally make sure the other person know i'm transgender as soon as possible and I chat with this person for quite a bit before meeting in a neutral place with plenty of people. I'm not that active in dating because that's something that confuses me a lot but I had a couple of dates and it worked 1 or 2 times already.

 

I don't want to mislead people but at least here in Canada I don't have the impression that it's more dangerous for a trans woman then for a cis woman. My ex had a couple of dates too and I would say that she had stranger stories then me.

 

My feeling is that if you have an active life and you wait to find someone in real life you can wait a lot since there's so much people dating online.

 

to me the advantage of dating online is that I can put a transgender flag with "proud to be trans" written on it and write that I had the surgery in my description. I call that my "douchebag filter" :D In real life it can be more awkward and take too much time for the other person to know and ending up being more dangerous.

 

Dating only trans people, at least here in my local community, do not seem like a realistic option since we are too few. Finding the right person would be next to impossible...

 

well, that was my 2 cents on that. I,m actually surprised by the comments so far.

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MaryMary

I can get why your friend is down. Dating for a cis man is hard (at least according to my own anecdotal experience). i dated with a male presentation for 1 month after separating from my ex wife but before coming out as a trans woman.

 

How many woman I actually dated? 0

To how many woman I talked online? 0

 

Dating is hard if you are not super pretty, lol

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ChickenLittle

Being safe online is definitely top priority but I think online dating can be done safely. I have a friend who is a cis woman who went on a few dates with a trans guy before he told her he was trans. Once he told her, she immediately called me to tell me about it and she was really sweet, if a little misinformed. She just kept saying, "but he's so HOT. He's definitely a man!" I had to roll my eyes and tell her that yes, trans men are men and can be just as conventionally attractive as cis men. Last I heard they were still dating and it was going great :) 

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TessaOKC
19 hours ago, VickySGV said:

Totally agree with @MaryEllen about the dangers of On-Line dating for ANY Trans Person.  I have two friends who have been badly hurt that way.  Support groups on the other hand have me looking at a couple of weddings to go to in the next year and several a-romantic teams and room-mate setups that are working just great.  I have enough good, lasting friends through my in-person meetings that I do not give a fig about whether I am part of a couple or not. 

 

Thanks Vicky. Some people like very much to be part of a couple, me being one of them. Good luck at your weddings!!!

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TessaOKC
16 hours ago, MaryMary said:

I find that topic interesting.

 

Ok, I get that that's dangerous but more and more dating work with online dating sites. I personally make sure the other person know i'm transgender as soon as possible and I chat with this person for quite a bit before meeting in a neutral place with plenty of people. I'm not that active in dating because that's something that confuses me a lot but I had a couple of dates and it worked 1 or 2 times already.

 

I don't want to mislead people but at least here in Canada I don't have the impression that it's more dangerous for a trans woman then for a cis woman. My ex had a couple of dates too and I would say that she had stranger stories then me.

 

My feeling is that if you have an active life and you wait to find someone in real life you can wait a lot since there's so much people dating online.

 

to me the advantage of dating online is that I can put a transgender flag with "proud to be trans" written on it and write that I had the surgery in my description. I call that my "douchebag filter" :D In real life it can be more awkward and take too much time for the other person to know and ending up being more dangerous.

 

Dating only trans people, at least here in my local community, do not seem like a realistic option since we are too few. Finding the right person would be next to impossible...

 

well, that was my 2 cents on that. I,m actually surprised by the comments so far.

 

Hi Mary,

 

I have slightly more than 20 good trans female friends that I speak with on at least a weekly basis. I have never felt alone and if I really need someone to talk to there is always someone nearby. My friends situation is very different. Don't know what the stats are but there appear to be far less FTM than MTF humans out there. That is stating the friend situation only for him. Now, since he's attracted to cis females, the numbers diminish even further. No clue for how many cis women are looking for transmales  but the number seems to be like really really low. So, to me, online dating is a no brainer.  I've checked a few places and the suggestions on dating sites are not many.

 

Good for you doing the online dating thing. I as well think we should be up front about who we are and I also think it can be safe providing that common sense is used :)   

 

I really appreciate your view,

 

Tess

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ChloeRoss

I would add Transgender Date to the list. While I am MTF the site does a good job of catering to everyone. They do a great job of breaking down the identities instead of just grouping everyone together. There is a vast community there so finding someone there is definitely a good chance of finding someone. There is also a lot of discussion on the site which is focused more on just dating. That may provide a good outlet for your friend as well.

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