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Laura Beth

Food for Thought

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Laura Beth

I've come to the realization that my journey to where I am at today started some 40 years ago, if not earlier. I started to cross dress before my teens and eventually got caught by my Mom. I stayed in the closet for many years with my parents being the only ones to know, they didn't support me at all. Looking back I have come to realize that I outed myself many times to various women who I happened to encounter in everyday life while out shopping. They were accepting of me and didn't draw any attention my way while I was shopping. One older lady I remember from Scotland made a point of helping me every time I was in the store to find whatever I was looking for with a huge smile on her face. This was way before I even thought about going out dressed female. Laura would emerge for awhile then would vanish within the closet for a time.

 

I often wonder how well did I do at hiding in the closet, I remember being teased while in high school about how I stood and walked. Was my fake facade not covering everything as I thought it was. In my twenties I was in the closet living male by day and as much as possible female at night within my bedroom. During the mid to later part I was in college and at night I would put on one of my female outfit to unwind in. As many know college life has its challenges to keep ones privacy, ones sneaking into each others rooms looking in the closets and drawers. Yes, I did have someone get into my room the one year and find my female clothes but there was no mention of it from anyone. I would remain in the closet for another 18 years before Laura came out and wouldn't be put back. I started to dress more female around the house and eventual to the point of going out every time as Laura.

 

So I say to the ones still searching and questioning, look to your past for some of the answers because they very well could be there. This is not a short journey we under take but one of many pitfalls and rewards to be each discovered along the way. I am sure others here can relate to what I have said about the hiding within the closet afraid to come out but have and seen how wonderful it is to be our true selves.We can not allow fear of the unknown to rule our lives for one day more because the future is brighter without it. 

 

Laura Beth

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ChloeRoss

Very well put. The journey for many is hard and long. Hopefully as time goes by it becomes easier for many.

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Charlize

One of the great advantages of going to a therapist was having an opportunity to remember and share a lifetime of experiences similar to those you describe.  Somehow being open and honest was a step i needed in finding the strength and confidence to follow my path.  

Thank you for reminding me of my past as well as sharing your own.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Gwen
20 hours ago, Laura Beth said:

So I say to the ones still searching and questioning, look to your past for some of the answers because they very well could be there.

Thanks for your thoughts and especially this, Laura Beth. Many of us may have faced clues along the way and didn't understand them until much later in life. It wasn't until I came out to myself, with the help of a therapist, that the confusion I faced throughout my life finally made sense. And yes, the future is brighter.

 

Gwen

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