Testosterone & Sexual Fluidity

[Leo S.]

I think I have heard somewhere many years ago that T could scramble your sexuality and I've heard that sexuality can be fluid, so my question is this... How many of y'all had to question your sexuality again after T? Did it actually change?? After everything that coming out as trans entitled, somehow it feels like I'm already too old to be having another identity crisis at the age of 21. Seriously, how many times go I have to question if I'm gay or not...?

[Ravin]

This is definitely an area where YMMV.

 

I was pan before T, and I'm pan now. The main thing that changed was that my sex drive ramped up--it settled back down some, but is still higher than it had been since before I had kids (pregnancy and lactation wreak havoc on hormones and can thus affect libido, not to mention the stresses of parenting young kids).

[ChickenLittle]

I've definitely heard of people whose sexual orientation shifted after they started T, but I'm in the same boat as Ravin. I was bi/pan before T and I feel about the same now. I have heard some people say that before they came out, they identified as lesbian even though they were probably more bi/pan (gotta love that bi/pan erasure that makes people feel like they have to do that) and going on T made them feel more able to talk about being attracted to men because they were able to be attracted to men while remaining visibly queer. From a slightly older perspective (I'm 28), 21 isn't terribly old to be figuring all this stuff out! I know it's stressful and difficult to feel unsure about all this stuff, but you'll get there. There are many people decades older than us who are still figuring out their identities and that's totally okay. We're all on our own individual timelines. Good luck with everything! 

[JJ]

Before starting T I always though I was asexual. Which I felt like I couldn't talk about any more than the male life I lived inside. I knew I wasn't a lesbian. Same sex relationships just don't do it for me. And yet though I would be deeply attracted to men it wasn't sexual somehow. I didn't want a physical relationship. Kind of figured I was just missing out on that aspect of life.

 

Then shortly after starting T a well endowed, attractive woman walked by me and I felt like I'd been hit with something. No I'm not asexual after all. That attraction to males was a wanna be. And wannabe can be so deep and strong it's hard to tell from the real thing until it comes to sex itself.

 

So in a way T did change my self identification from asexual to straight man. And I began to recognize wanabe for what it is and was.

 

I think what often happens with us is that we begin to give ourselves permission to be who we are rather than who we thought we should be. To explore feelings we may have pushed back because they didn't fit or make sense in the context of who we thought we were or had to be.

Ad by the standards of someone 21 I was ancient when that all happened. I was 64.

Johnny

[Jani]

12 minutes ago, JJ said:

I think what often happens with us is that we begin to give ourselves permission to be who we are rather than who we thought we should be. To explore feelings we may have pushed back because they didn't fit or make sense in the context of who we thought we were or had to be.

I wholeheartedly agree with this point from all I've read and my own experiences.   I think being on the correct hormone unlocks a lot of what we've hidden away.  

 

Jani

[claire1000]

I agree with Jani, I was always attracted to females before HRT and  after starting transition and in a relationship with another fully transitioned M TO F I believed that was still the case. But now after being on hrt for close to 20 months I suddenly find things could be changing, recently we were at a wedding a male gay friend asked  me to dance, as the night went on I found my self attracted to the whole feeling of being with this man, his smell , his  arms around me, and the general over all feeling of being the female in this situation was overwhelming.Now I find myself questioning where I am sexually because if he had made any other advances that night I may have been tempted to experiment, this experience however convinced me even more that transition is the right direction for me,

[MarcieMarie12]

For me, it just let me be me, found out on E I am really pansexual. I think part of it is once we begin to transition, we tend to be more honest with ourselves and not being related to HRT. At least for my self I think that was the  case.

[Leo S.]

To be fair it's not the attraction to men that surprises me, but more so the lack of attraction to women in going from a 2 or 3 on the Kinsey scale to a 5... Particularly when my earliest memory is having the hots for Britney Spears in the school girl outfit.

...

2nd puberty is evil.

[Flint]

My problem with T when it comes to sexuality is that I have more of a need to live vicariously through watching other men..... Which is confusing for a man who has always seen himself as straight. It's gotten pretty confusing at times, and I start questioning if I'm just ashamed to be gay and so I keep going in and out of denial. But then when I'm asleep, and my brain is trying to work all this stuff out I seem to dream of myself with women and myself as male, especially certain body parts in impeccable detail! Which seems only to further cement the idea that I visually feel a need to see male genitalia not because I want to have sex with men but because of what I lack. It's like a surrogate visual penis I guess. But it certainly makes my internet history appear very..... gay...... 

I had this problem before T, but the difference is I seem to need that visual more often since T...

[JJ]

Hi Flint. Good to see you again!

I quit trying to figure a lot of it out.

I like porn -and I only like man woman porn especially of the guy is well endowed. But I am equally picky about the women. Well more really.

I can admire men. That old wannabe is really  strong, but when I ask myself if I want to have sex with a man I find attractive the answer is always no. Do I want to be him? Yeah. The woman? Just the opposite. Do I want to be her? Hell no. Do I want to have a relationship with her....? Yeah.

So there it is for me.