Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Super sleepy but ... here goes


Guest Rachel Gia

Recommended Posts

Guest Rachel Gia

I am a bit confused as to why I did it but I think it was because if I want to be approved for surgery beyond a simple orchiectomy it is expected that I present more and bring more people into my inner circle of the knowledge thaT I am indeed TRANS AND AM TRANSITIONING (I did not mean for that to caps but oh well).

Sooooo.... after my 17 month appointment I informed my boss and my dispatcher along with a few workmates and then after that my dentist and my dental hygenist.

That was yesterday and i am a little exhausted but it all went superbly and my life is now for the better.

It turned out my dental tech had written a paper at University discussing transition funding and by Canadian Health Care System and how it should be increased.

Like i said I am a little stretched by the process right now but quite content.

I need a break as I think I came out to about 15 or more people in the last week!

I am out now and see a urologist in two weeks.

Much Love R:Pachel

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Get some rest!  The whole process of coming out can be exhausting.  It certainly was for me.  My mind seemed in a constant state of extra alertness and feeling any peace seemed beyond me.  I also found AA helpful because i could be vulnerable, open and honest in the rooms as is so often difficult in the world.

Try to breath, sleep and relax into the process.  Remember "This Too Will Pass".

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Doesn't that make you feel so much better?   It's a great weight off your shoulders.  Congratulations!  

 

Jani

Link to comment
Guest Rachel Gia

Thank you, both of you:)

Today was great and friday is going to be a long one but I will get through it.

Cheers-_- Rachel

This weekend is a long weekend in BC..."Family Day"

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Have a wonderful day today.  You deserve it. I hope you get the opportunity to join the festivities with some friends this weekend.

 

Jani

Link to comment
Guest Rachel Gia

doing a late night phone shift at AA tonight and then some busking tomorrow and the other sunny days.

I just came from an OA meeting and a woman shared and although my coping methods are different (I am a restricter) there were some things that mirrored my behavior.

I was talking with her before the meeting and told her I was taking the late night shifts at AA HO because I have been binge sleeping too much and it was starting to worry me.

12 and 14 hours at a time.

The phone shifts are working on a lot of levels and I list myself as Rachel on the volunteer calender.

I gave an OA member a ride home tonight and shared how today was a lot of reflection.

Coming out has been so freeing and the acceptance staggering in it wonderfulness but I also abandoned dairy this week after months of bewildering headaches and feeling lousy. Its been five days and the headaches are gone along with a variety of things that I just thought were part of me.

Its a nice place to be but still it could be a place of bordering on the brink of regrets.

I am out and coming to.

I would not be at this place of love without prayer and meditation.

Rachel

 

Link to comment

Just wanted to say congratulations! I'm glad that you feel lighter now too. 

Hope your weekend goes as peacefully as possible

 

Oz

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It's spiritual, a life free of artificial human boundaries, and it's real, no regrets as you move into your future, smile as life grants you this grace....

 

C -

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Thanks for your share Rachel.  It sounds as if you are doing a great deal of service as well as attending meetings, prayer and meditation.  When i was coming out meetings often became a haven of acceptance.  The words of AA as they spoke of letting go and accepting myself as an alcoholic somehow allowed me to let go and accept my gender as well.  It has been some time since i came out and i still find that when there is a bump in the road the rooms are a great place to share my difficulties.  

Interesting being here where we open up and share our experience, strength and hope helps in very similar ways.  

Best of all i'm now happy most of the time with the life i live.  That is certainly a big difference. 

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest Rachel Gia

Messed up in reverse on the blood test.

I forgot to eat yesterday and when I remembered I was in why bother mode.

Turns out 24 hrs without food messes up the blood test.

Progress not perfection.

Oops

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Please take care of yourself.  Remember that H.A.L.T. , hungry, lonely angry or tired can often lead us to a "solution".  When i forget to eat, get lonely or have to stay up all night my mood can change drastically. 

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest Rachel Gia

Hi Charlize and thank you for understanding.

I was a little bewildered at the time that I could still go into one of my obsessive maelstroms and be unaware or in denial of it. Sometimes I don't think I have an eating disorder but yesterday proved it to me.

I restrict as a way of coping with it along with some other methods and it showed on Friday and then ultimately being turned away at the blood test.

The concerned look the two health nurses gave indicated they knew what was going on with me in the eating dept.

It did not help that I have a reading disorder that I can deal with in most situations but in this one where I was trying to find where the fasting period was, I just couldn't see it.

The reading thing no one would know because I can read quite well but I see in blocks and also think in blocks. This would lead to me starting at the end of the block when I was speaking on occasion and either some comment or puzzled look would follow.

A lot of the times I will say "in short" and then get to my point. This helps me focus and not look weird or "convoluted" which is actually more bewildering for me than what happened Friday.

The thinking thing I worked around over the last ten years and my brain has adapted and adopted a method of dealing with it so I can perform and be an entertainer. It also is a huge asset in my job as courier as well.

Reading however is a bit different. Reading out loud is fine as its linear and I have the voice to keep me on track but reading in general on most occasions makes me sleepy within a few minutes and when i was younger I was singled out as having a problem with silent reading and comprehension. I could read an entire page and have no idea what was being said as I would go off somewhere.

It was the same age as when my food intolerances started showing up and concerns over my voice not deepening were brought to my attention. It was Grade 7 and I was already 2 years gender dysphoric and closeted but not yet Trans which came about 2 years later. My eating disorder however was out and later an incident with my dad brought on a life long body image issue that thankfully has become manageable.

The bizarre thing is I am now regarded as a pretty good songwriter and lyricist and a good entertainer so I guess I figured it out or my brain did.

Friday I will just have to chock up to a relapse or slip and get back on track.

In short, the phrase "Think before you speak" has quite a different meaning to me.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Rachel it sounds as if you have found good ways to get past difficulties you face.  I find that acceptance of my difficulties is often necessary before i can even try to find ways of dealing with them.  Getting help has been important for me.

I'm glad you are able to reach out.  I resisted help for years.  Could do it all myself!  It simply didn't work and now that i'm more able to accept my limitations and stop trying to run everything i'm feeling so much happier.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 96 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • MomTGDaughter
    • Susie
    • Adrianna Danielle
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,941
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Miss Cormac
    Newest Member
    Miss Cormac
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
    • Willow
      Both of my parents were from the “North Shore” of Boston.  My mother Lynn and my father Swampscot.  They had an early 1900s Scots-Irish New England diet.  My sister and I were born in the 40s in Ohio well away from New England seafood and in an area where food was more German and Polish.  My first experience with liver and onions was during basic training.  They ate salt cod but never forced us to eat it same with oysters.  My dad ate oysters but my mother wouldn’t.  Anyone who ever ate an oyster can figure that one out.  I grew up eating lamb.  My wife won’t touch it. I love brazed ox tail, again no way. And the list goes on.  
    • KathyLauren
      My mother was German, so yes, I think it was a cultural thing.  If I'd known you when we were cleaning out my mother's place, I could have sent you her "threat jar". 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been taking it real easy.Another good neighbor of mine and his 15 year old son came over and cut down a couple dead trees on my property.Knew not to do it taking it easy.I had them put the wood near my fire pit in the back yard.Did it and happy where they put it.They knew I had stents put in and needed to take it easy
    • Ashley0616
      Wow that is a high number for Estradiol good grief! Testosterone levels are better than mine. I don't remember my Estradiol level but testosterone was 80. To me that is really high but it was in the two hundreds the check in before last one. 
    • Ivy
      I don't understand why this would make a difference being a "dad" I mean, as far as how they would grow.
    • Ashley0616
      I don't see why not. I have worn forms since I came out. 
    • MaeBe
      I have never worn breastforms, but I assume as long as they don't aggravate your nipples you could.
    • MaeBe
      Every week I've been excited to take my shot, so it's never been an issue. Yesterday, however, I woke up and started my usual "slow roll" and then suddenly realized I had breakfast plans that I had to rush out the door for. After, it was straight into work calls, and then I got the notification from the doctor about things being too high and all the while my mind had completely slipped that I needed take my shot.   Given that I am not asking for medical advice, but sharing my journey, I will note my results: Estradiol at 447 pg/mL and Testosterone was 23 ng/dL, up and down from 26 pg/mL and 526 ng/dL respectively before treatment. Almost flipped the bit! The doc would like my Estradiol closer to 300 pg/mL, so we'll see what Monday's tests state.   Oh, and I teased the dinner with old soccer teammates and never updated the thread! It went well. There were a couple funny moments. One guy, who I was worried about their response, greeted me with "Hey, you've lost some weight!" 😎 And a friend who lives near me picked me up on the way to dinner exclaimed, after we learned one of the invitees might show up with a date, "Wait! We could have brought women?!" To which I instantly responded, "You kind of did, bringing me!" Everyone got a good laugh out of that. 😁
    • Ashley0616
      To me there isn't that much difference other the measurement, which side the zipper is on and men's pants have bigger pockets. 
    • missyjo
      I hope this is not stupid question..I have yet to start n not sure if doc will approve..but once you start growing buds n such, can you still wear forms to get to the size you were?   I'm a dad, so when I start blossoms they will be smaller for a long time n probably need surgical augmented..that's fine. I don't want to go ddd to aa to ddd..   any ideas?   thank you
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...