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Hi, I'm Brandi.


BrandiBri

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After reading many comments I feel as if I already know most of you. That said, I realized that I was "different" when I was 11 years old. I was very naive and thought that I was the only boy in the world that liked to wear dresses, so of course I couldn't tell anyone. I remember reading about transvestites and thought that that was what I was, but I also remember wishing that I could wake up as a girl. I thought that I was pretending to be a girl when dressing up, so when I got married I thought that I was "fixed". However, I could never shake the feeling that I wanted to be and dress as a girl.

I was married for 46 years to a wonderful woman who, although she wouldn't allow me to express myself, was my only true love and a wonderful mother to our 4 children. She passed away in Dec. 2016.

I came out to one of my cousins in late June or early July, and that was one of the happiest day of my life. My first appointment for therapy was June 22 and I started HRT on Sept 19.

The years of hiding were hard, but now, with new feelings and emotions it is even harder. I hope to gain insight that will help me on my journey, as well as helping others on their own journey.

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  • Root Admin

Hello Brandi,

 

Welcome to TransPulse. :)  Thank you for sharing your story with us. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. :)

 

MaryEllen

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Thank you. I will certainly ask questions as they come up. After living to please others all my life, I finally decided to live for myself.

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  • Admin

Welcome, Brandi, and thanks for introducing yourself so well!  Your last comment speaks to me - saying you've finally decided to live for yourself after a lifetime of living for others.  As much as I regret that you had to hide away for so long, I do admire your strength and perseverance in holding on until you felt safe to be free.

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I have to admit, it took me quite a while to even sign up for this site, but I'm glad I did. I just decided that I have to be true to myself. Ilook forward to many meaningful conversations:)

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Brandi.  Being here has certainly helped me.  Simply knowing there are others who understand the triumph and difficulties of this life gives me comfort.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Brandi!! Im glad you are here with us.  I am sorry to hear of your wife's passing.  As you note that you've read many of our posts you probably do know many of us well enough.  I hope you do join in the conversation as you have a wealth of life experience (like a certain group of us!)  Going through a second puberty is hard enough but at our age it can be especially hard.  Take life a day at a time, just as you always have.  I look forward to seeing you around the site.

 

Cheers, 

Jani

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Brandi,

Welcome to TransPulse. Pull up a chair and join in the conversation!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

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Thanks to all for the welome. I agree with you Charlize, puberty is hard, but just knowing that it will get better and being able to see results makes it all worthwhile. So far, all my experiences telling my kids and going out have been positive. I really enjoy that I can be the person I have wanted to be since I was 11 years old.

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Brandi!

I feel exactly like you do, and eleven was my age of discovery as well! I still wish I would wake up as a girl, my wife would have to accept me if it just “happened”-

Sorry to hear about your loss, I feel deeply for you.

big squishy hug for you...

Jae

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/12/2018 at 7:20 PM, Dev said:

Welcome, Brandi, and thanks for introducing yourself so well!  Your last comment speaks to me - saying you've finally decided to live for yourself after a lifetime of living for others.  As much as I regret that you had to hide away for so long, I do admire your strength and perseverance in holding on until you felt safe to be free.

For those of us that have hidden for a long time it is such a relief to let the genie out of the bottle! There are highs and lows for sure but no one said this was going to be easy! Much love and support to you girls!

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Thank you for the kind words. Yes the road can be and is bumpy, but you have the advantage of a supporting wife and hopefully that will help smooth the road for you. Good luck on this new chapter of your journey!

 

lots of love,

Brandi

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