Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Your true self


Raven1981

Recommended Posts

Hello All:

 

So I have a question that I would like some help on for myself.  I do not like to ask this and if anyone wants to answer they can.  But when you are transitioning from M2F and your on hormones and working on passing as your self.  How or what is the best way to make yourself appear more girl like and feel more like down south?  I am trying so hard to hide myself, make me look more fem, and have that figure and even shape my face, but even with on hormones for 4 weeks, I feels like that I am not there passing as a real girl.

 

Any help

 

Amy

Link to comment

When I realized my dysphoria not my appearance was the problem and I was able to mentally separate the two. I soon focused on how others treated me to see if I was passing or as a friend put it blending in. 

Link to comment

Hi Amy.  I remember the feelings you are having well.  You made the hard choice to be out, you've seen the doctors, been poked and examined, told your story, felt rejection and now you're doing something about it but it's not happening as fast as you'd like.  That totally sucks!  We all go through that same period.  The really hard answer I think you need to know is that it takes time ...and lots of it.  It may be more and it may be less time depending on how your body IS and how it responds but, (don't be discouraged) it took me about 2 years to get "through" transition.  During that time, I looked like a boy who badly needed a hair cut, I had facial hair, my voice was (and still is) "not right" and my clothing was androgynous at best.  I think the best advice I can give you is to do what you can and savor those accomplishments along the way.  It sounds like you started hormones?  They take a long time to work but think about the fact that YOU STARTED HORMONES!!!  Yayyy!  You can change the clothing you wear one outfit at a time ...and celebrate that!  You can work on getting any facial hair removed ...and celebrate THAT.  You can celebrate longer hair, eyebrow trimming, successes in retraining you voice (if you choose to do that) and shaving your body hair.  Definitely celebrate the PEOPLE in your life who recognize your correct gender and treat you with kindness!!!  Celebrate ALL the things that move you in the right direction even if they don't tip the scales that make strangers gender you correctly and I think you'll be a little less discouraged overall.  I wish you the best Amy.  Hang in there because you will accomplish your goal if you persevere.

 

Link to comment
  • Admin

I will have been on HRT for 9 years here in a couple of months and I have nothing close to what I really thought I was dreaming of.  My breasts are the size of one of my sisters and a bit bigger than the other one.  I piloted two cis daughters through their puberties and they got some of their mother's shape in about 7 years which out did my sisters. 

 

If I have to give one tip on looking feminine, the answer is to look calmer and happy with yourself as you are in the minute. Relax your facial features and you will look softer, even if you just cut down a rain-forest thick beard a few minutes before,  Wrinkle your nose up and giggle about it and make a silly happy face as you realize you are on your way!!  That will give you an instant change to the lighter features of your female self. 

 

OK, tip number two!!  Tell the masculine features you see that you are thankful for what they did to bring you to this point in life and let the memories of his heroism for YOU bring a momentary tear to your eye, and you will see them change to the softer real you as well, no make-up will be needed there.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Relax and own the moment to be the "you" you want to be seen as.  Confidence is powerful.  

 

Jani

Link to comment

 

4 hours ago, DenimAndLace said:

Hi Amy.  I remember the feelings you are having well.  You made the hard choice to be out, you've seen the doctors, been poked and examined, told your story, felt rejection and now you're doing something about it but it's not happening as fast as you'd like.  That totally sucks!  We all go through that same period.  The really hard answer I think you need to know is that it takes time ...and lots of it.  It may be more and it may be less time depending on how your body IS and how it responds but, (don't be discouraged) it took me about 2 years to get "through" transition.  During that time, I looked like a boy who badly needed a hair cut, I had facial hair, my voice was (and still is) "not right" and my clothing was androgynous at best.  I think the best advice I can give you is to do what you can and savor those accomplishments along the way.  It sounds like you started hormones?  They take a long time to work but think about the fact that YOU STARTED HORMONES!!!  Yayyy!  You can change the clothing you wear one outfit at a time ...and celebrate that!  You can work on getting any facial hair removed ...and celebrate THAT.  You can celebrate longer hair, eyebrow trimming, successes in retraining you voice (if you choose to do that) and shaving your body hair.  Definitely celebrate the PEOPLE in your life who recognize your correct gender and treat you with kindness!!!  Celebrate ALL the things that move you in the right direction even if they don't tip the scales that make strangers gender you correctly and I think you'll be a little less discouraged overall.  I wish you the best Amy.  Hang in there because you will accomplish your goal if you persevere.

 

 

What an uplifting response!!!! I'm so glad I read this and it certainly has put a little more hip in my hop !!!

Link to comment

Hello All:

 

Thank you for the advice.  I am still using my breast forms and hope that my real breast will be the same size and my breast forms.  I am just a average C size for my build and height right now.  So nothing too big and just enough to give me something.

 

One of my accomplishment is that I am losing weight and I need to.  So I am happy for that.

 

I am right now in the private area, I am working on different methods of concealment and one method I like and is working very well for me is the tuck.  I think I have an easier time at the tuck since I am a cancer survivor and I am already missing one of the testies  that you have to push into the cavity.  So it makes that part easier for me.

 

Thank you

 

Amy 

Link to comment

Others have given good advice.  I will add that hormones helped with confidence or gave me the validation that my brain needed to go in public dressed the best I can in women’s clothes. I go like it’s no big deal , like I fit in (even if I do not) with my head held high and a smile in my heart.  

Link to comment

Hello Rachael:

 

Thank you. I have notice that since I have started HRT that I feel a lot more relaxed and also coming out to more people even easier.  My confidence level has been going up and I am almost ready to head out dressed up as my true self and be comfortable with myself.

 

Amy

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Amy,

 You are one brave soul and I’m very jealous, even at near a year I couldn’t hope the pass to save my life but that’s OK I don’t mind working with my in between self. I did notice some shape change, went from more of a potato to semi hourglass, definitely something happening there, but some recent weight loss also thinned out my yummy parts I was so pleased with,  I plan on indulging again once I hit my progesterone cycle. Not that it’s for everyone but donuts cake and ice cream do wonders for fluffing up girl zones but the drawback is you’re more fluffy... so there’s that .

squishy hugs,

Jae

 

 

Link to comment

Hi Amy,

I totally agree that confidence is the key here. When you walk out the door, do it as if you were born to wear dresses (after all you WERE!). Once you stop worrying what other people think you will find that it really isn't that hard. I know that sometimes I'm seen as Me and other times I'm seen as he, but I just let those time slide off my shoulders and go my own way. The important thing here is realize that transition takes time and so take your time adjusting to all the new feelings and enjoy all the new adventures that await you.

 

Love, Brandi

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Wow, yet again I must bow to Brandi, I took some good clarity from her words myself!

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment

Thanks, for the kind words Jae. It's my hope that I can offer hope and insight to every one here as well as get valuable info from everyone else. 

 

Love ya"all, Brandi

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well Brandi, everyone knows Nebraska girls totally rock!

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment
On 2/22/2018 at 12:00 PM, jae bear said:

Well Brandi, everyone knows Nebraska girls totally rock!

Hugs,

Jae

You're a Nebraska girl??? I grew up there! Just moved to SD last year. Miss the home state and go Huskers!

Link to comment

Yeah, born and raised here. moved my family to WV for a couple of years, but just missed Nebraska too much and had to move back.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 162 Guests (See full list)

    • MaeBe
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Maddee
    • violet r
    • Siobhan F
    • Susie
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alscully
      Alscully
      (35 years old)
    2. floruisse
      floruisse
      (40 years old)
    3. Jasmine25
      Jasmine25
      (22 years old)
    4. Trev0rK
      Trev0rK
      (26 years old)
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      LGBTQ rights Project 2025 takes extreme positions against LGBTQ rights, seeking to eliminate federal protections for queer people and pursue research into conversion therapies in order to encourage gender and sexuality conformity. The policy book also lays out plans to criminalize being transgender and prohibit federal programs from supporting queer people through various policies. The project partnered with anti-LGBTQ groups the Family Policy Alliance, the Center for Family and Human Rights, and the Family Research Council. Project 2025 calls for the next secretary of Health and Human Services to “immediately put an end to the department’s foray into woke transgender activism,” which includes removing terms related to gender and sexual identity from “every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists.” The Trump administration proposed a similar idea in 2018 that would have resulted in trans people losing protections under anti-discrimination laws. [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023; The New Republic, 2/8/24] Similarly, the policy book calls for HHS to stop all research related to gender identity unless the purpose is conformity to one's sex assigned at birth. The New Republic explains: “That is, research on gender-nonconforming children and teenagers should be funded by the government, but only for the purpose of studying what will make them conform, such as denying them gender-affirming care and instead trying to change their identities through ‘counseling,’ which is a form of conversion therapy.” [The New Republic, 2/8/24] The policy book’s foreword by Kevin Roberts describes “the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children” as “pornography” that “should be outlawed,” adding, “The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned.” Roberts also says that “educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023] Roberts’ foreword states that “allowing parents or physicians to ‘reassign’ the sex of a minor is child abuse and must end.” Echoing ongoing right-wing attacks on trans athletes, Roberts also claims, “Bureaucrats at the Department of Justice force school districts to undermine girls’ sports and parents’ rights to satisfy transgender extremists.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023; TIME magazine, 5/16/22] Dame Magazine reports that Project 2025 plans to use the Department of Justice to crack down on states that “do not charge LGBTQ people and their allies with crimes under the pretense that they are breaking federal and state laws against exposing minors to pornography.” [Dame Magazine, 8/14/23] Project 2025 also calls for the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services to repeat “its 2016 decision that CMS could not issue a National Coverage Determination (NCD) regarding ‘gender reassignment surgery’ for Medicare beneficiaries.” The policy book’s HHS chapter continues: “In doing so, CMS should acknowledge the growing body of evidence that such interventions are dangerous and acknowledge that there is insufficient scientific evidence to support such coverage in state plans.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023] Going further, Project 2025 also demands that the next GOP administration “reverse policies that allow transgender individuals to serve in the military.” The policy book’s chapter on the Defense Department claims: “Gender dysphoria is incompatible with the demands of military service, and the use of public monies for transgender surgeries … for servicemembers should be ended.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023]   …summaries of what’s within the rest of the document re: LGBTQ+ concerns. A person can believe their gender is fixed but incongruent with their physiology, but the authors and Trump (by his own words) just see the incongruity of an “expressed gender” that conflicts with what was/is in a person’s pants.
    • Mmindy
      Good catch… I took care of it.
    • Sally Stone
      I'm tired of the two-party system.  It has degraded to a system where there are only two diametrically opposed views, neither of which supports me.  I have conservative views regarding big government and government spending but I have very liberal views when it comes to protecting the rights of individuals.  And just elections of the past, I am stuck with two choices, neither of which I support. With only two parties, each with agendas that are off the left and right scales, I am not adequately represented.    Finally, I'm okay with party affiliated politicians running for office using their party views, but once elected to office, they are obligated to support the entire electorate not just the electorate members that voted for them.  Plain and simple, our government system is broken and dysfunctional.  I'll step down from my soapbox now.     
    • Sally Stone
      Thanks Mae.  She was an amazing friend and I grew to love her like a sister.
    • Sally Stone
      I did Ashley.  Non-rev travel was one of the major factors for taking the job.  At the time, US Airways had the best non-rev policy in the industry.  It cost $10 to fly coach and $25 to fly first class.  We flew first class whenever there were seats available.  
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You should have a moderator fix what you meant to write as "birth certificate".  Ooops.   I've gone over that verse and am wholly and completely dissatisfied with the SBC exegesis of it, so much so that it was one of the things that helped me break out of a mindset of guit.  Sometime I may strut by stuff as a Hebraist and show what it really means.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I found this   — 450 — Mandate for Leadership: The Conservative Promise Goal #1: Protecting Life, Conscience, and Bodily Integrity. The Secretary should pursue a robust agenda to protect the fundamental right to life, protect con- science rights, and uphold bodily integrity rooted in biological realities, not ideology. From the moment of conception, every human being possesses inherent dignity and worth, and our humanity does not depend on our age, stage of development, race, or abilities. The Secretary must ensure that all HHS programs and activities are rooted in a deep respect for innocent human life from day one until natural death: Abortion and euthanasia are not health care. A robust respect for the sacred rights of conscience, both at HHS and among gov- ernments and institutions funded by it, increases choices for patients and program beneficiaries and furthers pluralism and tolerance. The Secretary must protect Americans’ civil rights by ensuring that HHS programs and activities follow the letter and spirit of religious freedom and conscience-protection laws. Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike. The next Secretary must ensure that HHS programs protect children’s minds and bodies and that HHS programs respect parents’ basic right to direct the upbringing, education, and care of their children.   https://static.project2025.org/2025_MandateForLeadership_CHAPTER-14.pdf   First, that is not much, if that is all that is of concern.  Secondly, I have seen all sorts of anti-Trump slander, including the Steele dossier and the lawfare he is now undergoing, to be cynical of any criticism against him, and indirectly this document.    He deserves some of what he is getting, but not all.  Thirdly, I bolded one statement of concern.   I don't think gender identity is subjective.  "Radical actors" is name calling, and there is a lot of that going around.  Maybe I am not seeing everything of concern or reading this right, but i would discuss with the author of this document concerning this.
    • Willow
      Good evening   well I finally finished reading my textbook.  Yeah.  But I still have a lot more to go for the class.     My endocrinologist always asks me about lactation.  And yes I have had some very small amounts of leakage but not on any regular basis.  I figure I blocked the discharge Duce when I pierced my nipples with scare tissue.  But who knows.  I also get asked about mammograms.  I e had my first or baseline and this fall I will need to schedule my second.   As someone in the midst of studying the Old Testament, I can say that I haven’t found any mention of pending damnation for being transgender or intersex.  The closest it comes is a verse that says men should not wear women’s clothing.  Now I don’t know each and everyone’s particulars, but I know I meet the medical definition of female gender, and even in Ohio, a State that until recently refused to allow birth certificates to be changed, I meet the criteria.  Therefore I can only conclude I am not a man wearing women’s clothing.  But there is a somewhat different scholarly explanation of that law that it should not be taken as literally as the haters want.  Mostly men should not pretend to be women to ex ape from their enemies. Or tried to hide from God.     willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Well, the left wing has been doing that.    I read a few things while trying to find out what the problem is and liked what I read.  But I am a conservative.    Is there something specific in there that is of concern?  Does it promise somewhere to erase trans folk? That would be problematic.
    • Ivy
      It's a plan to basically completely take over the government by the right wing.
    • Ivy
      I'm actually in Asheville tonight.  Some of the people in the support group invited me for dinner after the meeting.  We're going to get together again tomorrow again. It's been nice, 4 trans women and 1 trans man, together ar a restaurant.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I found https://www.project2025.org/policy/   I will have to read it.  I have not.  What is of concern?   The link provided earlier goes back to this forum.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My parents were life long Democrats. 
    • Ivy
      'Nuff said. Yeah I'm not thrilled with Biden either. There are some conservative ideas I'm good with.  And I do feel that the current Democratic party is too cozy with the bankers and wealthy.  But despite all their talk, when it comes down to it, so are the Republicans.  And it's not the Dems calling for our eradication. Unfortunately, I see this election as existential for trans folks.  
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   @Birdie your CNA Is ill informed about breast and proper bra fitting.   My wife and I are checking out a campground up in Michigan just a little North of Saginaw, MI. We had a great meal at a local tavern serving delicious perch fillet dinner.   We’re going to check out the Saginaw,MI Bay area for summer time activities for when we come back on occasion. We belong to a camping club call Adventure Outdoors and have free camping at their resorts around Michigan and Ohio.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...