Anti-Trans Legislation Proposed Across the U.S.

[Carolyn Marie]

https://www.glaad.org/blog/transgender-rights-targeted-multiple-ballot-measures-across-united-states

 

Carolyn Marie

[Dev]

You know, I've never understood the whole bathroom thing.  If a man wants to enter a women's bathroom to commit a violent crime, he's not going to stop to put on a dress first.  He's just going to do it.  Let us piss in peace, for God's sake.

[VickySGV]

I have seen a whole "men's" bathroom taken over by a whole group of Drag Queens.  It was chaos for the cis men and may have converted many of such away from these ideas.  When I was first out as me, I actually had men chase me away from their man-pee-cave even though I was sure I could be read in a pitch black hole at the time.

 

Likewise I have seen where CD's and cis women were going into a rest room labeled "Queens" and the cis women were chatting happily with the CD's asking for beauty and makeup or shopping ideas.  The cis women actually felt fine with the "girls" in there with them.  

 

I know that one source of these bills is controlled by "men" who are self appointed protectors of women, and whom the women should fear much more than any out and open Trans person. 

[Timber Wolf]

Those who push these laws know perverts won't pretend to be transgender. It's just the scare tactic used by bigots to get their bigoted legislation passed. It has shock and awe, and they hope enough voters will not think too closely about it.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[TessaOKC]

So here it goes....., I know what I'm about to say may be controversial but I'm going to speak my mind anyway.

 

I don't pass one-hundred percent of the time . I've been three years on hormones, have come out to all I know as being transgender. I dress appropriately, I shave and take good care of myself. Because I don't pass all the time I have never used the woman's bathroom. Why some might ask? Because I would be horrified if I scared a poor little girl or some woman by my appearance. I simply choose to use the family bathroom or I find somewhere else to go. About half of my trans friends agree.

 

I have watched other trans friends that are by no means passable say, " F*** it, I'm transgender and  I'll use whatever bathroom I want !! " Inevitably a commotion will be heard and it involves my friend. My cross dressing friends are a mixed response as well. Some who are passable use the woman's room and others don't. I've seen some that laugh when going into the woman's room and say, "Watch this !" Off they go not caring one way or the other and think it's funny if they get clocked. I don't find this amusing whatsoever !

 

I think we need to care about this issue and we need to be more empathetic of others when using the woman's bathroom. Ifa trans female or cross dresser has five days of beard growth on their face then  throw on a wig and dress and then demand to use the woman's bathroom I am definitely going to disagree and emphatically so !  Would I want my eight year old daughter to confront this person in the bathroom? Probably not.

 

Virtually every trans female that I know takes good care of herself and cares about the way they look in public. The gray area in this for me is what do we do with a trans female that tries her heart out but just can't pass, which bathroom does she use. This is the dilemma that saddens me greatly and I know I'm in  this category.  If we use the woman's room we cause alarm and risk getting assaulted by waiting boyfriends and husbands. If we use the men's room we get ridiculed, assaulted, raped and sometimes killed.

 

So my only reasonable approach on this issues is as follows; if you are a passable trans female, use the woman's bathroom. If you are borderline like me, use your discretion and select accordingly. If you are not passable and feel as though you might cause a problem by using the woman's bathroom then how about using the family room.......??  It's all about common sense to me.

 

Lastly, when I talk about causing alarm to other females already in the bathroom , I am referring a typical normal female using the bathroom. I'm not referring to a crazed trans hating person who will find something wrong with us no matter that we do. Never ever will any group be able to satisfy everyone but I think we can certainly minimize the damage.

 

I do consider myself a trans activists and will defend my fellow trans humans fiercely ! We need to be allowed to use the bathroom of our choice and I think our choice needs to be guided by common sense. 

 

 

[Dev]

I think the issue is less with "ugly" women and more with women who don't conform to stereotypical expectations.  There was a case, in Tennessee I believe, where a particularly masculine-looking, lesbian cis woman was flat out denied entry into the ladies' room because someone's boyfriend insisted she was a man. It's certainly rare for anyone other than trans folks to have to worry about this kind of thing, but it does happen.

 

People just need to keep their minds on doing their own business and keep their noses out of ours.

[BrandiBri]

I try to use the family rooms when i can, but I went into one store here that did not have a family room. I quickly decided that it might be disastrous to use the men's room, so I did use the ladies room. actually it went well, expect for my own nerves. The one woman that was in there washing her hands turned, smiled and said "hi". So I guess I passed that day, but I always worry about that as well. I'm only five months full time and know that I won't always pass.

 

I agree that people need to mind their own business, but that rarely happens.

[Dev]

Just now, MaryMary said:

in all this witch hunt about the safety of little girl no one thought about janitors

 

Bahaha!  They can get in even when you lock the door.  Now there's a real threat!   

[TessaOKC]

3 hours ago, MaryMary said:

I think that the real important thing Tessa is that everybody as a right to be safe. If you go in the man's bathroom and everybody is ok with that then it's good enough (not great but hey). But if they make it illegal for me to go in the woman's bathroom AND when I go in the man's bathroom people are violent or psychologically abuse me then it's not ok.  I also heard stories of trans man who are afraid to go to public bathroom and have severe infections and end up in the hospital,

 

Mary,

I very much agree that we all need to be safe. My FTM trans friend brought up a good point. If he goes into a birth assigned bathroom, he will be going into the woman's room as a fully bearded man. What will the husbands and boyfriends do to him!!??? He is scared to death thinking of the results.

 

I just can't believe this whole bathroom issue has gotten out of control. Dev spoke of a masculine looking lesbian who was denied entry into the woman's room because they thought she was a man. I'm sure that many other masculine looking woman have suffered the same fate. We just want to use the bathroom!!!!!

 

Tess

[tracy_j]

11 hours ago, MaryMary said:

in all this witch hunt about the safety of little girl no one thought about janitors

 

the next crusade of conservative americans. lolllllll

 

I remember one time in my earlier days when in a stall in a womens room, and overheard a woman exclaim 'I didn't know they allowed men in here!' It really scared me momentarily, but she was joking and talking to the janitor

 

Last night I was at a function with a group I am nominally male with, but these days always dress feminine. I did get my usual funny looks when using the men's room. It happens almost every time, with men often genuinly turning back to check the name / symbol on the door! As I don't pass perfectly I know I am likely to get a negative reaction at some point in the women's room, but really do feel safer there. In general I feel it is men who have the problems with trans people, not women.

 

Tracy

[VickySGV]

21 hours ago, TessaOKC said:

The gray area in this for me is what do we do with a trans female that tries her heart out but just can't pass, which bathroom does she use. This is the dilemma that saddens me greatly and I know I'm in  this category. 

 

When I see this situation in the offing, I escort my friend into the rest room, quietly and with dignity and the single purpose of getting the job done. There is safety in numbers, and it is a behavior pattern of Cis women.  You can look in my gallery here for a decent overview of how I look, and I just go in with an attitude of "I am where I belong" and a soft courteous smile or expression. 

[Carolyn Marie]

8 hours ago, tracy_j said:

 

 In general I feel it is men who have the problems with trans people, not women.

 

Tracy

 

Tracy, I think you've hit the nail right on the head with this comment.  The people pushing these stupid laws are almost always men, and the kind of men who also foster all the crazed conspiracy theories these days.  Why this is so only a good psychiatrist could figure out.  There are women who are nervous about the idea, like a few at work when I transitioned.  But they quickly get over that after just a little exposure to us, and that fact that we pose no threat.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Rachel Gia]

I hesitate to chime in on this topic but do so as to have a voice on an issue that for the most part is not an issue for me.

I am more concerned with the gradual progress of unconditional acceptance of trans people as people and of being seen as valid.

The bathroom issue in effect is a form of getting stuck at the gate of transgender acceptance.

In short, if you can get away with it and its important to you, go for it, but if its going to create an issue where you are going to endanger yourself or alarm someone else than a conditional surrender until next time might be in order.

In the case of schools and universities gender neutral washrooms and change rooms are the only solution.

When it comes down to it, almost everywhere I "go" has gender neutral washrooms and when there isn't it is not uncommon for a  cis gendered woman to emerge from the men's and vice versa.

Necessity over rides gender politics in the real world.