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jae bear

Uncle Nick and Robert

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jae bear

when I was a child I tried to be a good little boy but a bratty little brother
back then the most important person to me was my dear sweet uncle
uncle nick was kind and encouraging, he was always there to listen
much more important than a father this man my uncle was to me at eleven

 

uncle nick led an unconventional life, his lover was very nice too
robert was warm and inviting and always there with a great big hug for you
what robert didn't know was that my uncle held all my big secrets for me
I would tell him things that others didn't know that he could see inside me

 

robert may have suspected something lurking, I could often saw it in his eyes
what he did not realize was really more of a little bent gender surprise
I would talk to uncle nick about everything from the early age of eleven
he kept all my secrets hidden for me and never once judged my fat thighs

 

through the years I kept on confiding and nick never once held it against me
when I became a man with a wife and moved out I thought I put it all behind me
sadly I found out that nick was ill and rushed to see robert right by his side
then all those old feelings came rushing back and I had no where else to hide

 

after sweet uncle nick had passed away I once bumped robert in the hallway
he looked straight into my tearful eyes and saw something only nick knew about me
I was scared, frightened and couldn't breathe how could he possibly have seen it
robert clearly knew something now and as he gentle smiled I could hardly believe it

 

I curled up my fist and threatened poor robert right in front of my entire family
I then heard my mother my aunt and my grandma yell stop behaving so badly
I stomped out of the house that day dragging my poor new wife behind me
I wish I had never done those things and lost my opportunity for a new brother

 

years have passed and gone flying by and I still regret that day very clearly
so the time has come to put all this to bed and call robert for forgiveness
I see us stopping for coffee and talking it out so I can show him my feelings
I beg and I pray that he doesn't hate me for things that I did when I was twenty

 

I think I will tell him about the crossdressing secrets that my uncle hid for me
about all those stolen girls underwears that I kept hidden in my speakers
I don't think he understood what he saw that day when he looked deep into my eyes
there was really just a scared little girl looking back that caught us both by surprise

 

 

sorry for the terrible form, but it came from the heart

squishy hugs,

Jae

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Timber Wolf

Jae, don't worry about form. I love how it came from the heart. It was beautiful to read. I hope all goes well.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

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Charlize

I like your plan.  Apologizing to a person we have harmed regardless of the reason can clear our side of the street.  You may also find you have an ally.  Both of you may benefit by interaction but at the same time it may or may not be that Robert will wish to revisit a painful loss.  It sounds like the attempt is well worth the effort.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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jae bear

Hi Timber Wolf and Charlize,

 Thank you for your hugs, I needed on bad this morning, felt like I woke up under the floor-

squishy hugs to you both,

Jae

 

PS;   I honestly hope I can change my name to Jae Bunny some day, this road is so long I can't see where it ends...

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jae bear

Sadly I realize Robert has eye surgery coming soon and there is no way I can talk to him without crying... I will have to wait till he's better and not at risk if we get emotional when talking...

it's a bummer, but I do understand-

squishy hugs,

Jae

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Carolyn Marie

Thank you, Jae, for sharing these memories, both sweet and painful.  It took courage to do that.  You and Robert will, someday soon, have that conversation.  I feel sure of it.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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jae bear

Thank you Carolyn, I hope that coversation comes soon myself.

squishy hugs-

Jae

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bobbisue

   Jae I loved your poem I don't know muck about form but I do know about tissues and I sacrificed a few more reading this  I hope you get your chance to talk to Robert soon I can tell this has been bothering you for a long time 

 

     bobbisue:)

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jae bear

Hi Bobbi Sue,

Yes it has been a long time, 27 years goes by so much quicker than you could imagine. And yet I find myself so impatient with my HRT? I’m sorry about the tissue supply but it’s nice to know I’m not just a sentimental fool and cry for any reason, all of these words are very personal parts of myself I am so glad I have someone to share them and people like you to read them.

squishy hug,

Jae

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