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My first visit to an lgbt centre HELP!


Cthorne

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As you can tell from the title I have an appointment to talk to someone at my local lgbt centre tomorrow morning and I am freaking out! 

 

I dont know what to expect? They no why I'm going obviously but what if they don't believe me? I quite clearly look like a girl.... Long hair and girly clothes and some things about myself I can't exactly hide ? Right now... 

 

Any advice is welcome ? SOS!! HELP!!

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Hi Cthorne,

It will be OK! LGBT centres are there to help us and provide safe spaces for us to share, heal, and support one another. They will be welcoming and they will listen to you and believe you!

I know you're anxious, but please trust that you'll be treated with respect and dignity and that you'll find assistance for whatever you need.

I'm so happy for you to be taking a step like this! Remain calm and carry on. B)

Hugs,
Julie

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Cthorne,

Facing the unknown is scary, but you will find they are very supportive and understanding. They understand that we don't fit into pre assigned boxes, and they won't be trying to put you into one. You will not be standing before some panel of judgement. They will accept you! Just be yourself and you will be just fine.

 

You will enter the door nervous, and before you know it you'll be comfortably chatting, wondering what you were so worried about.:) And you'll leave feeling brighter!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

 

 

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  • Admin

I am sorry it did not work out THIS TIME, but I am actually on the Board Of Directors for my local LGBTQ+ center and ours makes a point of welcoming new people and even giving them a hosting member for the first time.  We are such a mix that the really strangest folks are the ones who look like what others would think are Cis-Het center of the curve.  It is not what you look like, or who you want to love, but if however you look or present, are a warm (maybe shy) honest and caring person, you will be warmly treated and made to feel like one of the regulars.  (Maybe even invited to be one of the team that leads the group and plans the parties.)

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They do seem really nice on the phone but I still get nervous :) I've been emailing the person I'm going to be talking with and they are really nice too.

 

Fingers crossed I will be able to go next week instead :D 

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  • Forum Moderator

They are nice people because they want to help you.  That's what they do!   Stay in touch with them and you'll get to your appointment soon.  

 

Jani

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  • 3 weeks later...

Ok so I just got back from my meeting at the LGBT+ centre and it went surprisingly well.

 

We talked about a lot of stuff and they were nice and gave me some information and things and then they went to talk to my parents (yes I'm an adult but my family is all I got right now and I want them to understand)

 

So I sat downstairs waiting for them for the longest hour of my life!! And when they came out my parents were different. They have offered to take me shopping for some new clothes and even asked if I would be interested in the whole family going away for a weekend where I can be the real me without worrying we will bump into someone I know.

 

We've all agreed to go to our separate meet ups because they can't come to the same one as me because they are not trans but they have a special one for friends, family and partners of trans people and my family seem interested in checking it out.

 

I feel so much better now that I have seen someone in person and we have another appointment set up in a week. They(lgbt man) even offered to go a walk round the shops with me to find some new clothes and stuff, isn't that nice.

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  • Forum Moderator

That is wonderful news.  I knew it would go well for you.  That's great that your family has come to understand you and is supporting.  Congratulations!

 

Jani

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  • Admin

Other than the parents angle, that is just exactly how I thought it might go for you!!  I am very glad you are being supported by your parents, it is not going to be easy for them in some ways, but their having support there is wonderful.

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Thanks folks :) we're gonna go shopping at the end of the month (my idea) because we'll have a little more money saved up.

 

They seem very eager to help me and stuff but I've told them I still wanna take things slowly, I think dragging them along to that meeting really helped a lot.

 

Oh I almost forgot they invited me to a games evening ?

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  • Forum Moderator

That's a good idea to take things slowly for you and them.  Transitioning is hard as you no doubt have read.  Move as fast as your emotions can process.  Even though you dreamed of this time ease into it so you're comfortable at each step.  That will work to help your family too.  

 

Going shopping will be fun.  Take it easy as after a month or so you may find your style may have evolved.  Enjoy yourself. :welldone:  

 

Jani

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  • Forum Moderator

Perhaps you could try shopping at a thrift shop to start.  I did that and it was great for a bit as i found a style that worked for me at a much lower cost.  Shopping is certainly fun and having your parents and folks from the center willing to shop with you will help a great deal.  Thew weekend away sounds fun as well.  All good news!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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That's great news, Cthorne! I'm so glad it went well for you and that your parents were receptive. 

 

I second Charlize's thrift shop idea. Getting things at an affordable price makes it much easier to experiment and try new things. And they're fun places to shop as well!

Hugs,
Julie

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