Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

telling my doctor today that I am trans... Nervous!


jae bear

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

I have an appointment in less than two hours to meet with my doctor to tell him I identify as trans and that I have been on hormones for 8 or so months... I am so very nervous! I called the Oakland trans specialty department to see if that is the right approach as recommended to me by my therapist, and they did confirm this is the correct step... I hope I don't stammer through the meeting, I am feeling so very anxious, but I am also excited to get everything rolling along as well!

Nervous hugs,

Jae

 

Link to comment

Good luck to you.         Stay confident and be who you are best????

Let us know how your meeting went

??

Link to comment
  • Admin

Best of luck to you, Jae.  I hope it went well.  I would be interested to know whether he has any experience with trans folk, and if he is supportive and interested in assisting you along the way.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

I hope that he is willing to work with your HRT doctor to ensure that you get the best care possible. 

 

Hugs,

Brandi

Link to comment

Hi Jae, hope your app. went well. I came out as trans to my Family last year. I go to a teaching med clinic so I see s different intern almost every time I have an app. It has definitely  got easier every time. Although I still feel slight anxiety just before I tell a male intern. I have had nothing but acceptance. I hope you get the same

hugs

Jocelyn 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It is always been a bit difficult to out myself to a doctor but as i've got serious health problems it has been important from the start.  ?I'm glad to hear you are going to be honest with your doctor.  It should go well but don't forget if things go south you can always find a new accepting doctor.

I changed my cardiologist for that reason.  His staff were quite supportive but he had an attitude that put me off.  My new cardiologist is great and i trust him to consider me as a whole person.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Hi Jae, I hope it went well.  I can feel your anxiety.  It's unfortunate that the people we trust with one of the most important things in our lives - our health, can be some of the most judgemental people we encounter.  Even though acceptance of all people is ingrained in training, it still happens.  It's hard for some people to separate personal feelings when delivering healthcare.  Like Charlize wrote, you can always get a new doc.

Link to comment

One more thing...  It's always a good idea to make sure your primary care MD is aware of ALL medications you are on/any treatments you are receiving. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Okay! Everything went really well! I really appreciate all the encouraging thoughts and words, everyone here helped me to get this far and point me in the right direction, I can not thank you all enough for this, it is changing my life in such a positive way! I went in for my appointment and was seen right away, I hate getting weighed, but I though I had kept a couple pounds off from being sick last month... whole lotta nope! After 228 rang up on the scale and I got my height measured I realize I have lost yet another half inch! Oh well, not too sad about that!:P  I was so nervous I made the medical assistant Leticia worried when my blood pressure was super high, I explained I was nervous and she started asking questions... soooo... I came out to her quietly right there in the hallway and she was so sweet and understood completely, she was just so very nice, she welcomed me to the girl club and took my blood pressure again, bingo! Blood pressure in range and good to go... I waited for the doctor, got nervous again, then a quiet knock on the door and here's the doctor. She sat down, asked why I scheduled an appointment and I came right out with it, told her about my prescription meds and non-prescription meds, how I identify and that I needed a referral to the specialist team, an endo and that I wanted to get to work scheduling my orchi. It all went very well and she was just as sweet as her lovely medical assistant, we talked a little and she was so very nice to me, I think I will be seeing her as my primary GP as long as she can work well with the specialist team (I think she said she and her department were part of the team). She also welcomed me to the club and asked what my preferred name is, I was so shocked, I love it when she calls me Jae! She also made sure to ask me about preferred pronouns and I am starting to very much enjoy being referred to as she or her, I never thought it would feel so good or matter so much but wow! So awesome! I can't wait to go to my follow up appointment with the specialist team, and I am excited to tell my therapist that I followed his instructions! I told my wife all about it last night and she was very supportive, as a medical person herself she wanted to be sure I was taking all the right steps and providing all the right information, and was interested about insurance coverage for my orchi and top surgery, such a sweetie, I love my Bunny so much! I finally feel like I can breathe again!

Huge Thank You Hug to All!

Jae

Link to comment

SOOooo happy for you, Jae. I remember how anxious I was coming out to my doctor and so I totally sympathize. I'm glad to hear that you had such a great experience and that your wife continues to be so supportive.

And preferred name and pronoun usage is wonderful to hear, isn't it?

Hugs,
Julie

Link to comment

I'm excited for you Jae. that first time you hear you name is Soo wonderful.:D

Lots of big hugs,

Brandi

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You said it Brandi! I didn't think it would matter all that much, or at least not at first in the beginning process, but it was so awesome to hear my name and be refereed to as she or her! I know my doctor didn't have to make such a big deal about it, or go to the trouble of discussing my case to her medical assistant right there in front of me, but she did, and it was amazing! I can't believe it took me so long to finally find the single ounce of courage it took to join this forum, then all of you helped me fill my cup until I had enough courage to keep moving! There is simply no way I could have started on this journey alone, I am so very grateful!

Big Squishy Hugs!

Jae

Link to comment

     Jae I am so glad you had such an awesome experience and that your wife is supportive it looks like you are on your way to becoming Jae Bunny 

 

     bobbisue:)

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Wow! That sounds so wonderful. Being called by our true name really does matter, doesn't it!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
14 hours ago, bobbisue said:

     Jae I am so glad you had such an awesome experience and that your wife is supportive it looks like you are on your way to becoming Jae Bunny

Oh my gosh! Big thank you's all around! I really feel like the world is starting to revolve in my direction! And I definitely feel like the day that Jae Bunny calls all the shots is finally within reach! Even if there will be a period of time when I am passing through on my way to a bunny as just Jae Rabbit... :P

Squishy Hugs!

Jae

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I got my schedules confirmed for my endo appointment on Tuesday morning and trans team specialist on Monday morning! Yeah! I can't believe it was so easy! Why did I wait so long to do this for myself?! I was so worried about everything I let myself get in the way of my own self care, at least I'm starting to be more comfortable talking about myself to new people, I never thought I would be this person, but right now I feel really good! ( well that and it's girl sticker day and I just changed my stickers:P - always makes me happy! )

Big squishy hugs!

Jae

Link to comment

Great for you. That makes me happy to hear.    I bet you have a perm-a-grin.  

LOVE IT

Jamie ?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

 Yeah, I do kind a have a perma grin, I’ve been feeling pretty good about the way things are going, and talking with my wife on a regular basis helps a lot too. We share so many things together I’m a little worried that she’s not expressing herself or her feelings, but so far she’s been very open and willing to discuss everything with me. She was even checking out my complexion this morning, some of the old wrinkles are fading away for some reason, which is a good thing, and she wondered if it was the E affecting my skin or softening it in some way. I really want her to start seeing a therapist as well and I think we should also see a joint therapist that will talk to the both of us ,  I guess that will make a grand total of three therapists !

Squishy hugs,

Jae

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I have seen my trans specialist and endocrinologist in the last couple days, and had to talk with both doctors and medical assistants and come out to them... I don't even think I was nervous this time! It was much easier and went really well, I talked with the medical assistants and doctors with relative ease, no stammering or  jitters. I went to the lab for some more blood work two days in a row and everything checked out well, the phlebotomist recognized me from the day before and whispered to her coworker "that's him, the one from yesterday" (she is not good at whispering), but it didn't bother me in the slightest, in fact I asked the coworker that was going to draw my blood if she saw many trans patients, she said "no, not often...", I reassured her she probably saw more than she realized... I am starting to feel more comfortable about things, it is a real change and I wonder why it took so long for me to get here? I really regret not coming to terms with myself years ago, but that can't be helped, I am here now and on the move!

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 81 Guests (See full list)

    • Karen Carey
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-health-and-wellness/scotland-pauses-prescriptions-puberty-blockers-transgender-minors-rcna148366     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-second-trump-presidency-would-be-a-nightmare-scenario-for-transgender-people_n_661ff9a9e4b07db21fd5d59b     Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, HIPAA is basically useless for keeping government out of your medical stuff.  It doesn't seem to prevent employers from making workplace medical demands either.  About the only thing it seems to do is keep somebody's sister or spouse from having the tools necessary to help you when you're in trouble.  As usual, government made things worse and added unhelpful red tape.  I really doubt HIPAA will be any use in the area of trans rights either.    Honestly, I don't see anything good will come of this no matter how it goes.  If some state AG's win on this, it will cause issues for trans folks.  If the Feds win on this, it'll be a precedent to stomp on states' rights even more than has already been done.  And I'm not sure which way things go will make a difference when it comes to officials from one state trying to do nasty things to people who have left that state and gone elsewhere.    What a crap sandwich... and no matter which plate it gets served on, "We The People" get to eat it. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      At least you tried!  Something equivalent or better may come up, and the waiting could be worth it.  Just keep trying and you'll eventually get what you need and want.      For me, having somebody to love was the most important.  Everything else follows after that.  I waited a long time to find somebody...and she ended up leading me to more than I ever thought possible.    Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now.  I have something work-like outside of my home responsibilities to do for the first time in about 18 months.  Nobody seems to mind the real me.  And this evening, my husband said something that just really made me feel special.  He was rubbing my back, shoulders, and chest while we talked, helping me relax.  He told me that he thought I was really cute in my girl form, but that he thinks my boy form might even be cuter.  And that he's proud of his "smart little Pocket Fox."    For me, the combination of those sweet words and the physical affection was exactly what I needed. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Hi!   That was probably hard to write and then read and say, did I really write that?  Been there.   I'm glad you call it a journey.  It is.  One step at a time, and sometimes two steps forward, one back.    Abby
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Violet! We glad you found us! No one here will judge you. Each of us is unique yet we all share some similarities. And many of us are in the relative early stages of self-discovery.   Take time to wander the sections of the forums. You’ll find lots of information and ideas.   Ask questions if you feel comfortable. You will find lots of people willing to share their experiences.   Is it possible for you to possibly work with a gender therapist? Many of us have found that to be extremely helpful in finding our identity and out true selves.   Just jump in. We don’t bite! We’ve all been in some version of where you are.
    • April Marie
      Literally. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Shameless plug for my "Taylor" story down in Stories You Write.  I am not Taylor and the experiences she goes through are not what has happened to me, but there is an emotional expression that I think is the best way to say some things that I don't know how to say otherwise.  I am not Bob, either.  But you might find out some things about me by reading it.  And I hope it is a good read and you enjoy it.  I am not done with it.  If you would like to comment on it, I would appreciate it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
    • Sally Stone
      That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.   However, you look terrific in that selfie! 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...