I think my wife is mad that I'm dieting?

[jae bear]

I started my diet this week, lots of vegi's and salad, just enough protein, and not very calorie restricted... Works for me as I do not like feeling hungry. I did find a good exercise machine for me in the workout room at our apartment, and my daughter likes to join me when I go, I enjoy the company and like that she is willing to keep herself fit. I spent 30 minutes on the cycle machine, got really sweaty and kept a steady rhythm and moderate heart beat, I am quite pleased with myself. The unexpected downside is my wife, I have noticed this in the past as well, but this time she is very visible upset with my new activity. Whenever I have gone on a diet or lost weight she does not like it, and since I rarely hung in and stayed on the diet or lost much weight it was never any big deal, but this time things got weird. She was just downright mean to me all night last night, so much so that I told her she was hurting my feelings and asked several times why she was being so mean to me... She said a few slightly hurtful things, but nothing horrible, just super critical and rather mean spirited. We got through the night and our day is looking fine now, hopefully I wont experience a repeat of last night, I am rather perplexed by this attitude though. I think she would much rather I look like Dan Connor than Jessica Rabbit (as if I ever could). I am wondering if her feelings are involved somehow, but she isn't telling me much and it worries me. Maybe now that she knows I am transitioning this is more than she can currently absorb and she is being passive aggressive about it, I find it all really confusing. Or I suppose maybe she just had a really terrible day at work and I am making a mountain out of a mole hill, that could certainly also be true...

Hugs,

Jae

[BrandiBri]

Jae,

I hope that you are right about her having a bad day. It would seem to me that she would be supporting that you are working to improve your health and lose weight. I suppose she might be having second thoughts about your transition, but that shouldn't be a reason to act the way she did. Do you think that getting her involved with exercising would help? Just my thought on the subject.

 

Hugs,

Brandi

[Jennylynn]

Jae,

 

In the past whenever I would start training again it would bring much the same reaction. It has also bothered her lately that I am focusing on my shape. She has a harder time losing weight than I do. We had a discussion the other day about it and she always feared that I would get to the point I didn't want her anymore because I was in better shape. Now with the physical changes I am  going through it compounds things a bit. Take a moment and remind her how beautiful she is to you inside and out. Let her know you are doing this to make sure you are with her and healthy for a good long time. Let her know it isn't just about you and hopefully it will help! 

 

Big hugs!

Jenny

[jae bear]

The funny thing is, I have asked her straight out about this very topic, she clearly hates when I do anything that might cause me to loose weight, but when I ask her if she just prefers me chubby she says "no" and that she wants me to be healthy... I honestly think she is just not telling me something, and I think she likes me to be chubby, I don't know the reason for it, but she loads the house full of my favorite foods every time this happens, and last night she wanted to start sending prepared meals to my work so I have lunch everyday... In the past (recently) when I have gained some weight and have trouble with my jeans fitting too tight she finds it funny, jokes around about it and is in a great mood, then she instantly buys me bigger pants and is super reassuring that she loves me and that I look just fine...  I don't know if it is just a personal preference for chubby guys (I like chubby girls so I get that) or if she just doesn't want me to loose weight and make her look bigger by comparison when we are out... I don't want to rub her the wrong way with all this, but I need to do this for me, and if I have to keep ignoring all my favorite food in the fridge until it's time to throw it out I will do just that, I just wish I understood the motive behind it all. I suppose she could also be insecure about me loosing weight, like Jenny said, maybe she is worried I am looking for someone new or that I want to leave her, which in no way could even be remotely the case, Bunny is my entire world! I wish I knew what to say or do to make her feel better about it, but I'm stumped...

Hugs,

Jae

[Jani]

It could very well be that she is being pushed out of her comfort zone and even though she may not want to be mean it is coming out that way.  You need to reassure her.  I'm sure you won't lose so much weight that you'll be skinny like me!  She loves you and may get jealous if you change too much. 

 

Jani

[jae bear]

Jani,  I have a feeling you might be right on target, but the end goal here is a lot of weight loss. This will be happening all year long with a moderate goal weekly but a large end result. I really think that if I’m going to make it work, somewhere in the 150s is really going to achieve my goal, but I have to see what my body will except, my current 225 pound weight is just too much and really it’s not attractive, then again I didn’t care about the boy body, or what the boy face looked like, why would I? I didn’t like it. Once long ago I used to care about these things, I raced bicycles and exercised constantly. And later in life I raced motorcycles and exercised  until I was 197 pounds of lean muscle , it wasnt about the boy body, it was about the activity, and after my horrible motorcycle accident and three years in a wheelchair, I didn’t really care much about what was left and I just went downhill.  A lot of time has passed since I finally recovered, but I never woke up, I just stayed hidden, kept to the shadows, until just recently, so I’m ready to make a change again, I want to run with the bunnys.

Hugs,

Jae

[Jamie james]

 These are some I do at home     they are short only about 5 minutes each.   What a difference ??

 

[BrandiBri]

Looks like a great workout. Wish I had her butt!!!!

[jae bear]

HA! Yes, I wish I had her butt as well! Sadly my excersize abilities are limited as my right knee is junk and only bends 90 degrees... I can’t use treadmills or ellipticals, but I did find a bicycle machine with a flywheel and fixed crank (non-coasting) so I can pedal with my left leg and rest my bad leg on a nearby garbage can, not the best solution, but it works... I get plenty sweaty and keep my heart rate up for a good 20+ minutes.

Hugs,

Jae

[jae bear]

 I upped my routine to a solid hour, and I’m really pleased with the results. I weighed myself this morning and I couldn’t believe it when the scale said 219. And I feel remarkably better, not just physically but mentally too! maybe it’s just the endorphins but I really like the way I feel today. And while I was worried about my wife being very upset about me exercising and dieting, she was really quite nice yesterday. We had a wonderful time and took our kid out to the movies, we saw “a wrinkle in time”, it was really a good movie, however the father daughter scene where they find each other again was really powerful, and emotional, so I ended up crying right there in the theater, but I’ve decided I don’t care anymore, if people see me that’s fine, if my daughter sees me that’s fine, if my wife sees me that’s fine, they all know that it’s only because I love them. Later that evening my wife decided she wanted a bowl of cereal, which is no big deal... nice little snack, but the weird thing was it made her happy, and she knew it and told me about it and couldn’t believe that the cereal or maybe the milk made her feel so happy and euphoric. I thought she was just fooling around but honestly there was something to it as we talked for a few hours, joked around and giggled a lot, poked and teased each other and generally had a good time even if we didn’t talk about any heavy duty subjects, we went to bed feeling very satisfied with one another and happy with each others company. that’s what A good relationship really is, companions, friends, and when you’re married of course there’s more and that’s the wonderful thing about it all!

Hugs,

Jae

[Jani]

Keep up with the exercise.  You're correct about the endorphins they will make you feel good.  Sort of like a runners high.

 

Jani

[BrandiBri]

I tried doing those exercises yesterday; wow am I out of shape! Couldn't get through the first one. I'm not giving up though. I just want the bigger butt!!

 

Brandi

[Jamie james]

The video link I sent go to her YouTube page she has a lot of them.  I wasn't good at all.but after a month I can almost keep up????

[BrandiBri]

I saw them. I bookmarked the site so I can go there any time that I get the chance. Thanks for posting that Jamie, I definitely need the exercise. 

[jae bear]

Jani,  I agree, I do believe the endorphins are making me feel much much better, it seems every day I do it I can’t wait to get back into the workout room and hit it for one more hour. My youngest daughter accompanies me and is getting quite good at running the elliptical, and I think she’s feeling the same thing because she’s completely Jonesing to get back into the workout room with me and gets depressed if she runs out of time and has to go get ready for bed before we finish her homework. I made sure to change my schedule at work so that I can  accommodate her schedule, that way she doesn’t miss out. I’ve been eating mostly vegetables, salad and various proteins to keep a balance with a little bit of carbs here and there so that I’m not going into ketosis, I really don’t want to do that, I’ve done it before and it doesn’t work well for me. But I do notice day by day I feel a little better and a little better I’m dealing with stress better so it’s all good, and I definitely feel an improvement even just though the last week of this activity. I’m hoping someday, well down the road when I’ve slimed down and doing much better than I am now, that the HRT is helping me as well  and that I’ve had some time to let my hair grow, it’s all a very long process but at the same time I’m impatient with myself on a daily basis, Hmmm... figure that one out?

Hugs,

Jae

[Jani]

Very good!  That's the way to do it.

 

Jani

[jae bear]

Thanks for the encouragement Jani! I can see a definite difference and fell sooooo much better already!

 

@Jamie & @Brandi , I wish I could do those exercises! I am so jealous you girls can work out to that, I wish I could have a booty like the instructor too! Oh well, I will just have to compensate and go big when the top surgery comes!

Hugs,

Jae