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I nearly came out to my best friend just now... I really want to but I am hesitant


jae bear

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I got a visit at work from my best friend today, and he was really interested in my face since I shaved off my beard... I made up a bunch of excuses with some truth and a bunch of lies, but I felt terrible doing it! I didn't dare say much here at work, since my coworkers might hear and my daughter is here with me this week while she is off school, so two very big reasons to keep quiet today! I did tell him more than I tell anyone else, but didn't reveal my true self at all, just played it off, I felt so guilty for lying to him! I think he has some idea I am full of it, he started talking about his wife's gay friend that he was hanging out with and that if I was trans he would not care, and while this is really very sweet I just could not spill the whole story here at work. So now he knows I take E, but for a made up reason, and showed him the picture I use for my profile but just blamed my wife for being funny and goofing around since I shaved my beard. Of course then he immediately starts poking my chest to see what's under the hood (not the first time for him, he's done that before) and noticed stuffs really happening now, looked a bit shocked really. I am going to have to sit down and tell him I lied to him and clear this all up, but I really felt like I wanted to wait until much later this year. This is now nagging at me so bad I am unsure what to do about it, the guilt about lying to him is burning!:? And to be honest it would be really nice to be able to talk with my bestie about myself and everything I am going through, even if he is a straight male with nothing in common with my current situation...

Hugs,

Jae

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I think he knows.  You need to come clean when you have a private moment with him.  Sounds like all will be well.

 

Jani

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Hi Jani, 

I am sitting at the table waiting for him to show up at the restaurant right as we speak, I certainly hope this goes well is he is a very religious and I’d hate to lose my best friend but then again he’s a really understanding person and like you said you probably already knows.

Hugs,

Jae

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Best of luck.  You'll be fine.

 

Hug, 

Jani

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Good luck! You may mention that poking people in the chest isn't typically acceptable, although it sounds like it was intended to be a joke.

Please let us know how it goes! 

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I agree with Jani, it sounds as if he knows, and his remarks seems to me that he wall accept and support you.

 

Good luck,

 

Hugs,

Brandi

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And of course you are all correct, he was a total gentleman and accepts me just as I am, he was more concerned that I would stop liking sushi or stop going to the Poki bowl restaurant now that I came out as trans! Not a chance! I love sushi! He really shocked me, handled it all like a pro, not even a raised eyebrow... I told him nearly everything I could think of, held nothing back, and even though he is religious he shared his unique belief and faith with me, we are very aligned with our beliefs, and he blew my mind with his total acceptance and forgave me for lying to him earlier today... Nice to know my bestie has got my back! 

Hugs,

Jae

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That's wonderful! Looks to me you have the beginnings of a great support group irl as well as here.

 

Hugs,

Brandi

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Fantastic! So happy to hear that. You must feel so relieved!

Hugs, 
Julie

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 Oh my gosh yes I am so relieved, I was very nervous, and I don’t normally drink anything but I did have a glass of roscato red Before diving into the topic. It’s not exactly strong alcohol but it was a little something to keep me from being too shaky. I don’t recommend a habit of drinking just to talk to people so it is something I need to break. Honestly I think I could’ve done it without a glass of wine, but my brain was screaming for a drink and of course I like the fruity chilled wine which is a little more like Kool-Aid, I think the next time I need to just have a glass of water nearby and call it good, I don’t like this habit I formed.  My wife and I were talking this morning, after I made some sous vide eggs, just like coddled eggs, oh so yummy... it was so good... and she was talking about one of our friends of a family member who she thought would understand our situation as she is bi, and who would most likely be accepting about me coming out. And I thought by association her best friend which is a family member of ours, would probably also understand so that makes three family members I’m fairly certain would be accepting. I thought it was really sweet of my wife to think of something positive even though it’s a topic she’s very scared of, she so frightened of losing all of her friends over this and I feel horrified that this is something that I’m pushing to the wall, but we will find a way to make this work even if what she really wants is for us to move out of town. I would be more than happy to do that if it made her happy. But honestly we have a nice life here and I know some people will not be accepting, but I’m hoping that’s a small subsection of people, or that  my wife finds support from her friends even if I do not, I care deeply about her friendships and her quality of life so I’m willing to do anything I can to help her. Even if that means making sous vide eggs every morning for the rest of my life.

Hugs,

Jae

9532D2A4-8DF7-4379-9EC8-139759641D1B.jpeg

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  • 3 months later...

Ever Since My Sister-In-Law Gave Me My First Bra...All Of My Family and Friends Now Know That I Am Wearing My Bras...And They Are All O.K. With Me Wearing One.

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 Hi Paula ,

 Welcome to the forum!  I have been thinking a lot about adding a bra to my daily clothing, after a year of estrogen I really need to get serious about supporting my girls. Baggy T-shirts just aren’t enough these days, and now that I wear women’s jeans and T-shirts  all the time it’s getting harder to hide what’s happening due to the HRT. I did order something on eBay and measured as carefully as I could so hopefully the 44A  bra that shows up in the mail fits just fine, otherwise I will order again and readjust.( I might need a B cup ) 

I hope you’re finding the support you’re looking for here, we all love to talk about every subject you could imagine, it’s always a good idea to start in the introductions area so people get to know you, that’s where I started and I’ve made some amazing friends along the way! 

 It really is amazing that your friends and family are so loving and accepting, it always feels good when your friends and family understand us enough to accept who we are, I’m so glad your family is loving and accepting, they are such an important part  of our lives .

 Hugs, 

 Jackie 

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