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CyndiRae

5 years FT employment

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CyndiRae

It was 5 years ago this month, I came out at work, setting the stage for me to finally live full time. I first let my supervisor know what I was going to do, then I notified HR and set a timeline for the legal changes to come. Today I am still working for the same company, just got a raise, and there is seemingly no end in sight to our work, for that I am grateful. I recall being really apprehensive about doing this, yet being called my old name and the wrong gendered words were negatively affecting me, my dysphoria was really bad during this time. Being "myself" and not that other person at work, has really helped my overall well being. It's different now working as female, I've made the adjustments, I have gained perspective and a true appreciation for what some working women go through. Life is good, I'm a survivor..

 

C -

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Jani

Congratulations Cyndi!  I know when you started you never thought you would reach this point but look, here you are.  Wonderful.  Life is indeed good!  

 

Jani

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CyndiRae

Thanks Jani, I have to mention and thank a couple of sisters I've met from here on our board (Laura's) that really did help me during that time coming out at work.

 

Carolyn Marie - She gave me insights into the coming out process at work that was so very helpful. She was someone a few years ahead of me that really learned how to navigate these waters and articulated many of the required steps to be successful at this. Thanks Carolyn !!

 

Megan Rose - She is still working today, another professional that successfully navigated the coming out at work process ahead of me. Thanks Megan !!

 

Many of the long time employees at our company know my past, but it's never a problem, all have made the adjustment. What I find the most interesting is all the new employees and vendors that have hired on since my transition. Interacting with these folks is the most interesting of all. I like being "just another female" in the workplace, and those relationships I've built up are very enriching.

 

To those considering coming out at work, it can be daunting when you approach this to say the least, but you can do it, you can be successful. The benefits far outweigh  any negatives, it was so worth it.....

 

C -

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tracy_j

Congratulations Cyndi

 

Probably very scary at first and a long process, but you got there!

 

Tracy

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SugarMagnolia

Thanks, so much for posting this Cyndi! I've begun the process recently but am only out to managers now and a couple of colleagues. It's wonderful to here that things have gone so well for you.  

Would love any advice you may want to share from your experience or from  Carolyn Marie or Megan Rose. Or if they shared on the forums I'm sure I can do a search to find that. Just wasn't sure if their advice was through DM or not.

Congrats!
~Julie

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CyndiRae
On 4/9/2018 at 12:59 AM, tracy_j said:

Congratulations Cyndi

 

Probably very scary at first and a long process, but you got there!

 

Tracy

 

Thanks Tracy :)

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CyndiRae
21 hours ago, SugarMagnolia said:

Thanks, so much for posting this Cyndi! I've begun the process recently but am only out to managers now and a couple of colleagues. It's wonderful to here that things have gone so well for you.  

Would love any advice you may want to share from your experience or from  Carolyn Marie or Megan Rose. Or if they shared on the forums I'm sure I can do a search to find that. Just wasn't sure if their advice was through DM or not.

Congrats!
~Julie

 

Thanks Julie.

 

You are on the right track, letting your direct report(s) know before you do anything, get their buy in, most people these days see through this, it's not the gender or expressions that matter so much, but your abilities and what you do.

 

Getting some advanced notification into HR especially if you plan on changing your legal name and gender is a crucial step (I think you heading there).

 

Years ago (like in 2011) Carolyn Marie produced a document in which she shared with Megan Rose, which I became aware of that articulated in much detail how to go about the steps of coming out and transitioning at work. I would encourage you to reach out to Carolyn Marie here on our board. I will also mention that Carolyn Marie started a consulting business that works with HR people  to educate companies on handling gender transitions in the workplace. I would say she is our resident "expert" on these topics.

 

I hope your coming out at work goes well, with a little careful planning and the right notifications, it can go quite smoothly.

 

Hugs

 

Cyndi -

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Charlize

Thank you for sharing your success with us here Cyndi.  You are inspirational to many just as those before you helped you.

I think this kind of sharing is one thing that makes this site so special.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Gwen

I applaud your courage to even begin this process, Cyndi, and congrats on its success. Thanks for sharing the painful steps along the way, your growth on the job and how it positively affected your overall well being. You seem very happy now and nothing beats a raise!

 

Gwen

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CyndiRae

Thanks Charlize and Gwen :) it's great to be able to share positive stories here, for sure. 

 

Hugs

 

Cyndi -

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