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ShadyoFayx

Am I valid?

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ShadyoFayx

So, I recently accepted that I am Trans, but I don't have much desire to go on T, or do top surgery. The reason for no T, is because I have worked really hard on my soprano singing voice, and have taken many years of lessons, and it's one of the things that I don't want to lose. I am trying to sing lower though, and try to be able to reach a much larger range of notes, but I don't want to lose the thing that I have worked really hard on most of my life. I also don't want top surgery due to money, and not knowing how well my body would handle such a major surgery after having so many from my younger years. 

 

Because of these two things, I am really worried that I am not valid, or people won't consider me male. Even though I KNOW I am male. I KNOW I am not supposed to be female--and although I pretended I was female for most of my life, I always pictured myself as male in my head, and always wanted to be considered a male in any games I played, and always identified with male characters in T.V. shows and movies. 

 

Am I still valid? 

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MaryMary

Yes you are. We are always valid in being ourselves. I was not ready to come out for the longest time in my life and made the decision not to. Human beings are very visual little critters. If you present as females they, most of them, will see you as female. But that doesn't change what you are inside. For me transition was a last resort thing IMO you absolutely don't have to jump on this solution if you don't want to. I would suggest seeing a gender therapist that is trans friendly to help you deal with all of this and so that you measure correctly all the parameters of such a decision.

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Dev

The short answer to your question is: absolutely, yes.

 

It doesn't matter what your reasons for choosing not to transition medically are.  You could say you don't want surgery because the sky is blue and you'd still be a guy.  There will always be trans folks who choose not to pursue the medical side of things, and that choice doesn't invalidate either your identity or your experiences.

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MaryMary

the important thing is your happiness and your well being. ;)

 

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McGee

You're absolutely still valid! Lots of people don't want to go on hormones, and lots of people don't want surgery :) In the end, what matters is that you're comfortable in and being yourself

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Jani

Hello Apollo.  Of course you're valid!  What's more you sound confident in yourself and what you want in life.  That is incredibly important.  In life we pursue our dreams based on their importance and your voice is very important to you as you have shown by all your work.  As Mary says, "that doesn't change who you are inside."   And Dev's point about reasons is something you will hear over and over here.  We are all on our own journey and it is good and valid for no more reason than that's what we want.  The point that you can be you without all the trappings that many of us absolutely need is wonderful and liberating.  I wish that would have been my road.  

 

a big Hug,

Jani

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ShadyoFayx

Thank you, everyone. That really makes me feel relief. I have lots of questions, and lots of doubts, and I am so glad to have found this community to be able to talk to and ask all the questions that I have. You guys have really helped me. I am so thankful! 

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RikkiWilson

Medically transitioning is never a requirement of being trans. It's okay if you don't want to go on T. It's okay if you don't want any surgeries. Anyone that tells you different is wrong. Do what's best for you and only you. 

 

~ Rikki

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ShadyoFayx

 It is a relief to hear that it is not required or excpected of me to do so. On a happier note, I am so excited to start shopping in the men's section!

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Jani
12 hours ago, ShadyoFayx said:

I have lots of questions, and lots of doubts

That is why this forum exists.  As a place where we can offer support to each other.  Doubts are normal and questions are the reasonable outcome of them.  Please ask any that you come up with.  We'll do our best.  Now, go shopping for those things you need!  

Jani

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RikkiWilson
23 hours ago, ShadyoFayx said:

 It is a relief to hear that it is not required or excpected of me to do so. On a happier note, I am so excited to start shopping in the men's section!

 

Shopping in the men's section (and sometimes boys section for shirts for me) is always fun and exciting. 😊

 

~Rikki

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Cthorne

As someone who did their first shop in the mens section kinda recently it was terrifying but also a total adrenaline rush. 

:D As soon as I tried on the first set of clothes (for size purposes because I was to panicked to think of googling sizes before hand) It was a great feeling that nothing and I mean nothing was off limits, if I liked a shirt then I got that shirt, if I liked certain jeans then I got them too.

 

I even started doing a little shopping online too :D 

Enjoy yourself :D because no one really cares what you're looking at/buying. Even the folks at the changing room didn't blink and eye at me when I wandered up shaking like a leaf carrying a load guy clothes.

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Jani
24 minutes ago, Cthorne said:

I even started doing a little shopping online too

Be careful about shopping online as it's easy to rack up a large bill.  Plus it is much more fun to go and try things on to see if you really like them.  

 

Jani

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danReed

Hi friend. 

 

When it comes down to it, who you are in your mind, spirit and heart is who you are - regardless of how your body presents to others. My girlfriend likes to remind me often that I am not my body, I am not the body I was born into. You are valid and never let anyone tell you otherwise. 

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