Navigating Beauty Standards as a Trans Woman Is an Impossible Balancing Act
By
SugarMagnolia,
in Passing As Your Target Gender
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By Abigail Genevieve · Posted
It was nine thirty. Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe. She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room. But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it. Why didn't she hide it? She shook her head. Up she got. Sometimes you just do. Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom. Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee. She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi. Back she went. Into the dojo. She had about five minutes to get the gi on. She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence. She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow. Life started again. She was touched. Bowing three times. Oath. Kata. She was facing off with Judy as her partner. Judy looked worried. "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this." Lunge punch and lower block. They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend. Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block. It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it. She wanted to learn more. Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit". "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later. They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place. "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more." "That's my trooper." "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly. "You think I am a problem?" "No. I think you are safe. You passed the test I am the problem here." "Okay." "What did the doctor tell you?" "It's complicated. More tests coming. Like getting into college. I got a letter back. It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture. I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried." "I will say. I'm glad I'm not transgender." "Hah. You are pulled into my world. You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will." "You are worth it." "I hope so." "I know so." -
By Abigail Genevieve · Posted
On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door. She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes, Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?" "Ready to conquer the world!" on her way out she found her makeup was fine. Three stalls, two sinks. If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them. She met a deferential Karen. "Here is the branding I came up with," she said. And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal. Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation. In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors. Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor. Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute. Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed. "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered. The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023. At this point further cuts are not anticipated. We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone." Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled. After the memo came out they were absolutely silent. That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning. There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day. The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two. This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people. -
By MaeBe · Posted
So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬 -
By Davie · Posted
No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it. -
By Adrianna Danielle · Posted
Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together -
By Abigail Genevieve · Posted
By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is. Even worse, of what a transgender person is. You be you. I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl. He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved. Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die. Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go. Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud. -
By Abigail Genevieve · Posted
On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door. She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes, Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?" "Ready to conquer the world!" on her way out she found her makeup was fine. Three stalls, two sinks. If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them. She met a deferential Karen. "Here is the branding I came up with," she said. And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal. Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation. In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors. Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor. Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute. Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed. "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered. The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023. At this point further cuts are not anticipated. We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone." Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled. After the memo came out they were absolutely silent. That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning. There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day. The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two. This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people. -
By Davie · Posted
Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter! -
By VickySGV · Posted
You have given you and us a big clue right there. I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior. Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones. Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists. On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can. We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life. Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety. -
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By marysssia · Posted
Hi lovely people, I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect. Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely. BTW, my T levels are always within female range. Do you have any clue what exactly I should do? -
By April Marie · Posted
I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!! -
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By KathyLauren · Posted
One of our cats is polydactyl. He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total. Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down. His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't. He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch. Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception. The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet. At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
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