Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

how do i ask my parents for a packer?


Recommended Posts

i am a young person, i still live with my parents
i came out as trans to them maybe six months ago?? 
they were all very chill about it
ive had a binder for about two years
i dont have access to a credit card of my own but i need a way to deal with dysphoria in my downstairs region and alternatives to packers dont work for me.
i have been researching packers and ive found some inexpensive ones on amazon, however they all have very um....x-rated names and id rather die than show that to my parents and ask for permission to buy it. we dont talk about sex or anything openly. asking for this is embarrassing.
i cant go into an adult shop due to my age so this is the only option.
how do i approach them on the topic???

Link to comment

you might need to get over the embarrassment if you want them to get you one. think of it this way - you're asking them for a flaccid rubber penis. the request in itself is a bit more attention-grabbing than the name of the product, and even if the name of the particular model you get happens to sound innocuous, they're still going to be seeing a picture of it, and similar packers, popping up on their recommended purchases for a while. one way or another, they're going to see your 'thing', and that is completely okay because if you had been born male instead then they would have seen your down-under a hundred times over anyway while trying to diaper/potty train you. and if they're pretty chill about your identity in general, who knows, maybe they'll find the names of the different 'products' just as amusing as they are embarrassing. you might be able to share a laugh with them over the odd name for a while. 

as for an unrelated tip about packers;
you might need to powder it every so often because some use a kind of rubber that will get squishy and stick to everything, kinda like those rubber frogs they make to fling at windows. as for the powder itself; while cornstarch powder is good for the rubber, it's not so good for your groin - and while talcum powder is better for your groin, it's not so good for the rubber. some people use arrowroot powder for a neutral medium, but if you go that route i'd recommend you check that you're not allergic to it before sticking it on anything that's sposed to hang out down there.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Something that might help, @b. - instead of calling it a packer, refer to it by its more medical term.  It's a prosthetic penis, prosthesis, or prosthetic genitalia.  If you call it that and approach the conversation with your parents from the view that studies have proven prostheses help greatly with feelings of dysphoria, it might make it a little easier on all involved.  Then, if they agree to get one for you, you can email them a link to the one you want with a warning that its name really doesn't suit its purpose. 

 

Approaching it that way will get you out of being in the same room and saying the name of the packer out loud.

 

@Geirmundi - seeing packers compared to flingy sticky frogs has made my day.  Possibly my entire week.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Many of the cheap packers are unrealistic, sticky and don't last . I'd recommend saving for the initially slightly more expensive but actually far cheaper and more realistic silicone.

I have a silicone STP ( stand to pee) that has lasted 3 years with daily use and is still in good shape. Check out T-Men's Junk Shop. Just add a dot com or look for them on Facebook. They are cheaper than any others I've found and I know from referring a lot of guys, as well as my own experiences, are fast and reliable with good customer service.

I'd also recommend thinking about a STP . Many guys go to them, and being able to stand to pee in the restroom feels far safer as well as right somehow. I use the Che with the old style funnel. Hate the new one.

They make the Che as a packer too. That realism makes it feel like a part of your body in a way the baby doll colored vinyl cheapies just don't. And I had a lot of them in different styles till I broke down and went silicone.

Dev is right about approaching it as a prosthetic and not a packer. And shopping at specific trans shops will help too. But please check them out for reviews etc because some have bad reps for delivery and/or quality.

One last point. The average male is only 4 to 4 1/2 inches flaccid. Going too big calls unwanted attention and even ridicule. Err on the side of small if anything.

Goid luck!

 

Link to comment

Hi,

 

idk if you've approached your parents about it yet, but I'll add my two cents in-case you haven't.

 

Sometimes when I need to discuss a tough topic with my parents I find it easier to write it to them. 

What I would suggest is if both of them work, email one of your parents while they're at work (this is assuming you aren't expecting them to react negatively to your request). Make sure the email is safe for work (don't include the links to the items, just broach the general topic).

The benefits of this approach is that it can come across as reasonably casual (if you sometimes email them at work that is) because maybe you just thought about it now and they aren't at home to ask so you just happen to need to email them about it instead. ;) Also, it allows you to work out what you're saying before sending it and not have to broach the topic to their face which can be intimidating. You can then agree to send them links to their home-email so they can buy it or talk about it at home later (now that they know you want to talk about it they might bring it up at home which maybe makes it easier for you?).

 

If the email suggestion (and any other suggestions you've gotten) won't work in your situation then you probably just need to take a deep breath and start the conversation. Starting the conversation is usually the hardest part (unless they argue with you..that can be hard). Once you start it it'll take care of its self. Just gotta dive-in there. Don't start the conversation when they are doing something important (and are distracted or stressed) or when they are trying to relax but are stressed.
perhaps, think of getting the packer as your reward for having the guts to start the conversation.

 

Goodluck! Keep us updated. :)

 

-Alex

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 92 Guests (See full list)

    • KymmieL
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      Good morning all,    It’s a frosty morning here the lawn looks silvery, and the uncovered spring flowers have icy edges on their leaves. The only flower bed I covered was my tulips. As nice as it is here during the day, our clear wind free nights allow the temperatures to drop into the mid twenties. Here in our growing zone it’s recommended that you not plant delicate plants until Mother’s Day. Central Indiana can have snow as late as the third week of May. The birds are active at the feeders, I’ve had my cup of yoghurt and morning meds. So I’ll sit here, drink coffee and watch the as the sunrise chases the frost from the yard.    @awkward-yet-sweet I could eat black eyed peas as a side for every meal. Boil them plain or with fatback. Served as a leftover, just add in a little Rotel Original Diced Tomatoes & Green Chilies.  Make the best of your day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Mirrabooka
      I hope y'all look at this one. A catchy tune released at the end of Covid lockdown. Scarlett is so cute!!!     
    • Heather Shay
    • Mirrabooka
    • Mirrabooka
      Had a weird dream last night.
    • Mirrabooka
      Morning, y'all. Evening here; we had the regulation three mugs full today. Now it's time to drink something else.     No big plans here either, eldest daughter and granddaughter will be arriving on Saturday, and we will have our granddaughter to ourselves for a week after that. We still have plans though. Tuesday we'll go to the swim center, Wednesday we'll take a road trip to visit my mom, Thursday we'll get some mulch delivered to top up the gardens.   I still make other small plans on a daily basis though. The things I do plan nowadays, which is a bit new for me, is that after pinching a nerve and ending up in a bit of pain and getting some treatment from the physio, I am more motivated than ever to exercise more regularly. Tuesday for example, I went for a short (15 minute) early morning walk, went to the pool for some hydrotherapy, and mowed the lawns. Yesterday I did my exercise reps and spent some time on the exercise bike. Today, I went for a 45-minute walk, tomorrow I will do my reps again and go for a long bike ride. As long as I do at least one thing every day, right? The pleasing thing is that I'm losing weight! I blew out to above 95kg early in the year and I'm just under 91kg now. Yay me!
    • Heather Shay
      What one piece of advice would you give to beginning transitioners or considering transition?
    • Heather Shay
      Positive side of the mixed bag.
    • Heather Shay
      Boredom is an emotional state that comes when a person has nothing to do, and is not interested in anything. To stop boredom, most people do something to occupy or amuse themselves. The first known use of the word boredom is in the novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens, written in 1852, but the saying to be a bore had been used to mean "to be tiresome or dull" since 1768. When referring to the mind, boredom is a bad state in which the person feels a deep lack of interest in what is going on around them, and where it is hard to focus.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Mirrabooka
      ^ Your story gives inspiration to others.
    • April Marie
      Growing stronger and confident every day.
    • April Marie
      So, yesterday's epiphany was that girl jeans fit me much nicer than boy jeans. Well, duh! So this girl is switching over to wearing girl jeans pretty much full time. I'll keep my others for work jeans. We went out to dinner last evening and I was in androgynous mode...wearing a pair of Bandolino Amy straight leg denim pants. Score!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...