Problems coming out.

[Naotoplays]

I will first say that for the most part I am already out as MtF trans. I cam out to my mom years ago and she didn't take it too well. I came out about a year ago to one of my closest friends and not long after I came out on Facebook. The biggest issue I have faced it that while pretty much all my friends are supportive, my mom and her boyfriend are not. They have told me that while I am at their house I have to be who they want me to be or they will kick me out. This is why I was excited to go to a school that had LGBT dorms and allowed me to be myself. That really dint last too long as I am now transferring out of said school due to costs and not liking the major I chose and the school I'm transferring to is having me housed at my parents again. Which means having to live as a man for 2+ years or until I can get the money to move out which as a college student isn't easy. I really don't know what to do.

[tracy_j]

I know it matters greatly to you to be who you feel and present as such, but, in the scale of life, it is only a short while. There is nothing to stop you being pretty much who you are outside of home, and students, both male and female, are often dressed very similar. Be the inner woman, but keep in within yourself while in the home. It will be hard, but a confrontation is never helpful, and as I say, is relatively temporary with regard to home life. Don't forget that a good education can be really helpful in future life. You can use the time to research and plan the future. This would be far more difficult when living under a cloud of constant arguments at best and out of your home at worst. In time a compromise may present itself. As your life changes, don't forget that everyone else's does too. Your mother's attitude may soften, or it may not. She is still your mother though, and you only have one.

 

Tracy

[Jani]

Tracy makes a number of good points.  An education today will be invaluable later in life.  Waiting a short while until you are on your own will pass quickly.  It's best not to invite confrontation from your mom and her boyfriend.  I know its hard but look out for your long term care and benefit.  You'll be on your own soon.  

 

Jani 

[Carolyn Marie]

While you may have to tough it out for the next couple of years, that doesn't mean you can't still try to change the hearts and minds of your mother and her boyfriend.  Perhaps giving them an occasional article or a book, like "She's Not There" can help them understand you better.  Unless they have completely closed their mind to the fact that you are not going to conform to their biases forever.  It's worth a shot, IMO.

 

Carolyn Marie